Stay at Home Moms

If your child was around 2.5-3 when the new baby arrived...

When you first started talking to your child about a new addition to the family, did they go totally wacko and become clingy, cranky, sleep-deprived-because-they-can't-bear-to-be-away-from-mommy, monsters?  We had to take ds with us to our last prenatal appointment.  It was the first time to hear the heartbeat, so dh didn't want to skip it just because we couldn't find someone to watch ds.  We weren't planning on talking to ds about it for quite some time since he's only 2 and has no concept of time and how long it will actually be until baby arrives.  The problem is, he now won't sleep without me, won't do anything without me.  He screams and cries and carried on at nap and bedtime.  Last night, after 3 hours of him screaming, us trying to go in and calm him down, and it starting all over again, I finally just said eff it and took him to bed with me.  It was after 11 by the time he actually got to sleep. 

Did anyone else's child react this way when they found out a new baby was on the way?  It's no coincidence that this started the day that we first talked to him about the baby.  Ugh.

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Re: If your child was around 2.5-3 when the new baby arrived...

  • DS#2 will be 3 in July, and he really could care less. I think he's having fun playing with the new "toys" we're getting the new baby!  DS#1 gets what's going on and is pretty excited about it (he'll be 5 in Sept.).  

    DS#2 knows there's a baby in mommy's tummy and what his name is.  But that's it.  The only time he pays attention is when his big brother comes over to "talk" to the baby. I think he may have a hard time once the baby gets here, cause he's a real "Mama's boy".  Always cuddling, kissing, and hugging me just for the heck of it.   

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  • DD was totally ambivelant about it until I started really showing and we were getting the baby's room ready.  She was 2 yrs 8 mo when DS was born.  

    She actually went through her clingy stage at age 4 and was utterly in love with her brother until he got old enough to get in her stuff; now we have sibling issues and they fight as much as they play. 

    The best remedy I found for DD's clingy stage was to indulge it when possible and find other really fun stuff away from me that she liked doing.

    SAHM to DD1 (7), DS (5) and DD2 (1)
  • My son was 2-years, 7-months when I had my second child.  I did not take him to any appointments so he wasn't exposed to that aspect of the pregnancy.  He did not have any issues at all.  We didn't spend too much time on talking to him about it.  Just would mention that he would soon have a little sister and that he'd be a big brother.   
  • I really have no issue with the clingy other than naptime or bedtime.  It makes it so hard.  Naptime he just screamed at me through the door for nearly an hour yesterday.  Bedtime was much longer and much worse.  I'm almost just wondering if this is a phase that they all go through with asserting their independence, and it just hit at the same time.  Either way, I'm frustrated and feel like a terrible mother because my child won't sleep.
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  • imageEveryNameIWantIsTaken:
    I really have no issue with the clingy other than naptime or bedtime.  It makes it so hard.  Naptime he just screamed at me through the door for nearly an hour yesterday.  Bedtime was much longer and much worse.  I'm almost just wondering if this is a phase that they all go through with asserting their independence, and it just hit at the same time.  Either way, I'm frustrated and feel like a terrible mother because my child won't sleep.

    You're only 11 weeks right? How does DS even know that you're preg? Did he go to an appt and hear the hearthbeat or something? 

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  • imagermj80:

    imageEveryNameIWantIsTaken:
    I really have no issue with the clingy other than naptime or bedtime.  It makes it so hard.  Naptime he just screamed at me through the door for nearly an hour yesterday.  Bedtime was much longer and much worse.  I'm almost just wondering if this is a phase that they all go through with asserting their independence, and it just hit at the same time.  Either way, I'm frustrated and feel like a terrible mother because my child won't sleep.

    I think you're right on the money here. Stick closely to your routine, don't give in to ANY of his crying/tantrums/etc, and give it about a week or so. You'll feel like you're going nuts, but he'll figure out you mean business and will get over it.

    I agree too.  I am not sure your LO is making the connection.  FWIW Parker was 2 yrs 3 mo when R was born.  Parker didn't really start to get it until the end when I had a big belly and she could feel the baby.   So she could understand baby in the belly but that's it...not that the baby is coming home, etc.  

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  • Sorry your DS is having trouble adjusting to your pregnancy.  My DS will be 2 years 8 months when baby #2 arrives and I'm wondering how the adjustment will go as well, especially since they will be sharing a room.  I'll try to skip taking DS to appointments so that he's not alarmed before he needs to be.  Thanks for posting because I probably wouldn't have thought about him getting so freaked out by hearing the heart beat. I assumed he wouldn't get it yet.  

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  • I am sorry. That sounds rough. DS thought he was pregnant too. He wanted to hear his baby's heart beat too. My midwife humored him and let him listen to his stomach. It was cute.
  • BoizmomBoizmom member
    My oldest son was 2y1m old when DS2 was born.  DS2 was 1 week shy of turning 3yo when DS3 was born.  Neither my oldest of my middle son acted jealous or upset about there going to be a new baby.  Both were excited and loved touching my belly and couldn't wait to hold the new baby.
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