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Single Parents
UnderAtree
member
I'll be honest I have no clue what I am doing
UnderAtree
member
For the past four months STBX and I have tried to work it out. I don't know if anyone remembers me talking about him back in January but to sum up what has happened is he has basically raped me (that's how my therapist put it) and he cares zero percent for DS.
I am finally done with him and I have no clue what to do. I know I need to get a lawyer but I don't know what I am looking for; I have no clue what the laws are here in California and when I read them I feel like I am looking at my brother's advance calculus homework.
Any advice would be appreciated. What exactly do I need to do to get started with this?
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Re: I'll be honest I have no clue what I am doing
ask around about lawyers. I think that referrals are the best way....everyone has a friend/relative that has gone through a divorce, they will either say they had a bad lawyer or have loved their lawyer and be happy to give their name to you. Also, most lawyers here in Illinois give free consultations. I suggest meeting with several and asking tons of questions,,.,,you will know who you are comfortable with when you meet them.
google divorce, and how to prepare for divorce. there are lots of resources with great lists of questions you can print and use as a reference to get you started. i also suggest a support team. people you can call to vent/get advice or opinions, etc. mine was my mom, sisters, a few girlfriends, and aunts. people who will let you come over for coffee and a cry after a lawyer appt. im so happy for u that u are ready to get out, and be done with him, just know that even though u understand now that it IS what you want, it WILL be a difficult and painful journey. Stay strong!!!
The easiest way is to find the probate/family court in your county. Go there, find the clerk's office. Ask for help. Go up to the counter again and again until somone helpful explains the process. They will have forms with directions, and possibly volunteer lawyers (just for advice). Ask if there are programs that represent people who can't afford a lawyer (if that is the case). Law schools, women's bar associations, domestic violence groups often have lawyers who will take these cases on.
Start there. Good luck!
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Do you have a local Women's Rape/Abuse Crisis Center in your area? They were beyond helpful when I first started going through the process of separating from H. They set me up with therapists, lawyers, social workers and they held my hand throughout the process of obtaining a TPO.
Good luck!
Thanks ladies. I have been trying to look up lawyers online but I get scared to call. I feel like once they answer the phone I just won't be able to talk. I'll try going in person.
Thanks again.