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Stay at Home Moms
Another question for moms of 2 or more
Ok, if you can't tell my mind is totally racing today, I truly blame it on the pregnancy hormones and my DH being out of town for a week, I am at the end of my rope right now. DS still naps right now, and I feel I have it pretty good. Between naptime and an 8:15 or so bedtime, I feel I have a good amount of time to not only get a decent amount done around the house, etc., but also to sit and read for an hour, hop on the treadmill, etc. Believe me when I say that I am a MUCH better mother when I get that downtime to myself, to relax a bit. Now I am afraid that when this new baby comes, that is totally going to go out of the window, I am going to be 24/7 mommy, and have a nervous breakdown.
I don't want to make it sound like having another child was unexpected or unwanted. Believe me, after almost a year of fertility treatments and many thousands of dollars, this baby is wanted. I guess I am just freaking out about things changing so much. I know I shouldn't take it for granted that I get a break to do the things I enjoy, but they really do make me a much less crabby, frazzled mommy who enjoys being with my kid. Any advice or tips on getting that when you have two or more kids?
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Re: Another question for moms of 2 or more
you just have to take what you can get and be thankful what you get. If you need more- it usually has to wait until after DH gets home, on the weekends, or hire a babysitter for a few hours here and there.
really all there is to it.
Put them on the same schedule as soon as you can. I was always able to get at least 2 hours of 'me time' during the day since I always put them down for naps together. This can be tricky, but as soon as my daughter was in a routine, I was able to tweak it so they went down together during the day. If I had to wake her up from a morning nap, so I can put them down together, I did. Nap time is needed as much for me as it is for them.
And as soon as my daughter started going down earlier in the night, the easier everything got. My husband travels as well, and I am usually back downstairs after putting them to bed right at 7:00.
this
I ditto trying to get them on the same napping schedule. This will not happen immediately because obviously naps don't become regular until closer to 4 months old. But, I remember that once my DD2 was around 4 or 5 months, I put my DD1 down for her afternoon nap when my DD2 was going down for her second nap of the day. It worked well as I recall until my DD1 stopped napping completely around 2.5!
At some point though when your older DC stops napping, you just have to take breaks when you can and if that's not good enough, sign your older child up for some sort of preschool or day camp (depending on the season) if you can afford it. A LOT of preschools in my area are offering programs for 2-3 year olds. And last summer I enrolled my DD1 in a day camp during the summer. It was only for 3 weeks, 2 days a week from 1-4 pm, but my other 2 children both napped at the time so I had around 2 hours to myself on those days and it was priceless!
How old is your oldest?
Mine were 26 months apart and even though my 4.5 year old does not nap I still get at least an hour of downtime during the day (she has to rest and watches a movie while DS naps) they were on the same nap schedule for like 2 years, I did this quickly as possible after DS was born. My kids are also both in bed asleep usually by 8:00. Honestly it is not hard to get time for myself!
I won't be a stay at home mom until June, but I did find it difficult adjusting to having two kids. The key for me is to be organized. I also get up at 5 to go running; that allows me time to myself without having to miss time with my boys. I also have a really supportive DH. I do go for long runs on Sundays and I'm gone for a few hours. DH is more than happy to watch the boys because he knows it makes me a better mommy and wife.
Also, if you have family or friends nearby who are willing to help out, don't hesitate to ask them to watch the kids. When I stay home, I'm planning on dropping the boys of at my IL's so I can go grocery shopping on Wednesday mornings. This will not only give me a break and a chance to shop alone (so much less stressful), it also allows time with the grandparents.
This.
I "tried" to get my kids on the same schedule, but then my oldest STOPPED napping (at age 2) and that all went out the window. I do get a lot of downtime and "me" time though, so it makes up for it. So does the 7pm bedtime all 3 of my kids have.......
Something else to add. Even if your free-time is limited, it's all about making choices.
Although we always get the house picked-up at the end of the evening, sometimes I do extras - Like catching up on laundry or batch-cooking and sometimes I just feel like reading a book or lounging around. It's all about choices.
My younger daughter was born on 2/23/08 also!
Would you be comfortable enrolling your older child in a preschool program or mother's day out program just a couple of days a week? Mine were born 21 months apart and that's what saved my sanity. It was 10 or so hours a week but it was a lifesaver. Not sure if it's in your budget but it might be worth it if you could swing it.
If your oldest is still napping, you can get them on the same afternoon nap once the baby is 3-4 months old most likely. That's when they usually start nap schedules- at least mine did. And like a pp said, I have to wake my DS up every day that he takes a morning nap for him to go back down at 1 when DD does.
I get up at 6:15 every day to work out. I have my alone time during naptime. Both of my LOs are asleep by 8:00. It's not too hard to get some time alone- even if it's not a lot.
In the very beginning you will just have to suck it up as newborns are so predictable but after those first 3 months or so, things should get a lot better!