Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Got the are you mom or grandma question the other day at peds office!!!
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I got my share of "Are you guys sisters" with my oldest, and I am still getting it. I don't think I would be offended if I am called "grandma" with my younger kids (I was 37 and almost 41 when they were born). I would think it's funny. Plus, who knows, I may become a grandma in a few years.
It also depends on where you live. In our area older parents are a norm. My mother recently got the same question with my 3 y.o.!
I've only had someone ask if I were grandma once... recently, and I was twenty-something weeks pregnant! Really?! I'm not significantly overweight, either!
I must've looked really tired.
Once when I was pregnant, we were together and DH was asked if he was the father or grandfather. Too much gray in the beard but I secretly liked it.
Getting asked "are you mom or grandmom" in regard to your child is better than being assumed that you are your husband's mom & not his wife, right?
Really, I have a very good friend who people seem to think looks a smidge older than her husband (husband is 3 yrs older). There have been times when they have been out together for something as simple as ice cream, and after the server has taken my friend's order the server said "and for your son?"
Thus far, not an issue. But I know I look younger than I am?despite the recently acquired wrinkles around my eyes (Note to self: buy eye cream). But since I had DS at 39, I'm sure it will happen eventually.
That's awful!!! Though it happened to me once when I was actually in my 20s. I was out with a friend and someone asked me if she was my daughter. My friend is 3 months younger than I am! And while she is quite petite (4'10") I couldn't imagine HOW someone thought I was her mom!
Bronx Zoo: Summer 2013
To read my blog, click on the giraffe pic below!
Try not to let randoms get you down. It's hard though. At Christmas, a liquor store clerk questioned me when checking my ID. Evidently I have aged significantly in five years. I wanted to cry.
This. I was two months' shy of 40 when DD was born. I know I look young for my age, but lately I certainly feel at least 40 if not 50.
I get that too. But its always on days where I am looking frumpy. Should I HAVE to always be presentable to be accepted as the Mommy? No.
But at the same time, I dont like looking that unkempt either.
I would be angry too. I think some people don't use their heads....
I just had my first children 3 weeks ago and I'm 38, just starting to see the gray hair. I hope I don't hear these comments in my future because I'm not sure if I can keep quiet.
Delivered 3 weeks and 2 days early via emergency c/s due to pre-e
I don't understand why people don't err on the side of caution & just assume child instead of grandchild.
My "List of Things You Don't Ask About Unless You're Sure of the Answer" includes pregnancy & college. Looks like "grandchildren" needs to go on that list.
click the pic (blog)
Wow, that person has to stop watching "16 and Pregnant" on TV.
I only ask about grandkids if the person is CLEARLY over 60!
I once made the reverse mistake, I thought the woman was the mother not the grandmother. She laughed at me, I hope she was secretly flattered.
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