After you were discharged from the hospital, how often are you at the NICU?

damabo80 · May 2011

I'm being discharged from the hospital on Friday, and I'm not happy to be going home. I love the accessibility of calling the nurse and having her wheel me to go sit with Corinne for an hour or so.

Right now, I'm over there probably three times a day, for anywhere from an hour to 3 hours at a time...really, just whatever I feel up to. I'm loving the flexibility.

Thankfully, we only live 10-15m from the hospital, but the process of getting me INTO the car and OUT of the car, plus from the NICU to the parking lot should prove interesting.

So, in the week or two after you were discharged, how often did you go to the NICU, and for how long did you stay each time? TIA!

beyoga · May 2011

We live across the bridge in another state but dh works in the same city of the hospital just on the other side of town (hour drive total). So he would just drop me off in the morning and pick me/visit in the evenings. I was very fortunate to spend the time with ds.

katie4253 · May 2011

I really don't have a good answer. But, I just wanted to tell you that I am having a hell of a time emotionally deciding how to handle this as well (I made a post below). I can actually board at the hospital if I want to, which I plan on doing during the day. But, at night I've been coming home. I can't decide if that is what is making me a blubbering basket case, or if it is just normal post-partum baby blues.

Last night, as I was crying on the way out of the hospital, H asked me if I wanted to stay there. I think I might start staying at least 1-2 nights a week so I can go down and see him after I pump. The rationale for me coming home is that I'd be able to get better sleep and heal faster if I was home. So far, this has been the case. I am sleeping better at home at night.

Is there anywhere you can kind of just rest and chill-out during the day? Do you have access to a Ronald McDonald house or just a room to rest in besides the NICU? That way you could for for a stretch and not have to go home between. Maybe they have something like this and they just haven't told you about it either. For example, maybe there is a pumping room you could rest in if it came down to that.

I'm not sure when I'll be released to drive. I don't plan on driving at all next week. So, that complicates the issue. I'd imagine it will for you as well. After I can drive, we'll be using my parents car (it's an automatic, all we have is stick shifts. They are...er....incompatible with a c-section and the thought of driving it makes me want to cry!)

Are you in a lot of pain? I hope it isn't as bad as it had been for you. I found taking my meds exactly as prescribed (not waiting until the pain gets worse) has helped. It also helped that they gave me Percocet because I'm allergic to codine. The nurse said percocet is stronger than what they usually give. Which I am a-okay-with. Also, as much as you don't want to walk. The nurses said if I could make myself walk (just a little) it would really help things along. Thankfully I had 2 nurses who weren't all "warm fuzzy" and didn't act like it was easy to walk (warm fuzzy sunshiny people bother me a little...LOL). They were very down to earth and told me, "yes, it'll hurt for a bit, but it will make you feel better in the long run." and they threw in, "it won't hurt as bad as the first time getting out of bed either. If you survived that, you'll be able to manage the pain of walking."

I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. It is hard. If you haven't been emotional yet, don't be surprised if that comes. I thought I was doing all awesome because they said 2-3 days pp is when moms usually get emotional. Apparently I'm a late bloomer because I've been a blubbering fool the since yesterday morning (5 days pp).

kaylaaimee · May 2011

we only had one car and lived 45 minutes away. My husband worked near the hospital so he dropped me off on his way to work and then came up and spent time with us and picked me up on his way home. So I stayed alllll day but we had semi-private rooms so that was easier than bay style.

When she was at the Children's hospital it was 2 hours from home but they had a sleep room for the parents so I just lived at the hospital for a few weeks.

Katie- it is true the more you get up the faster it gets better. The first few times I was up the pain was unbearable and the more I did it I was shocked at how fast I healed

katie4253 · May 2011

kaylaaimee:
we only had one car and lived 45 minutes away. My husband worked near the hospital so he dropped me off on his way to work and then came up and spent time with us and picked me up on his way home. So I stayed alllll day but we had semi-private rooms so that was easier than bay style.
When she was at the Children's hospital it was 2 hours from home but they had a sleep room for the parents so I just lived at the hospital for a few weeks.
Katie- it is true the more you get up the faster it gets better. The first few times I was up the pain was unbearable and the more I did it I was shocked at how fast I healed

Oh I agree. I started walking the say after (Saturday) and the nurses said I'm getting around a lot better than a lot of vaginal birth moms. I'm glad I had nurses who didn't try to act like it'd be pain free though, too. LOL!

Natalie_may · May 2011

Like Boston we were 45 mins from the NICU and DH went back to work right away. I did 2 hours during the day (like 11-1 or 12-2) with my mom and then was at the hospital from 6-830/9ish with DH in the evening. My mom was a saint and would wait in the family waiting room, since we weren't ready for visitors yet, and read or study (she's getting her master's).

I would also find the time to do something for me each day, no matter how tiny. I got my hair cut, I did my nails, I took long hot showers, I just did something to pamper myself. As strange as that sounds it gave me some strength and some normalcy, a few minutes to an hour a day to not think about the NICU.

Once I got the ok to drive and was able to walk fairly comfortably I did longer days but it took me some time to find a schedule that worked. We were very blessed because we had semi-private rooms and the boys were each other's roomies so we really were able to make it a home away from home.

Congratulations on your daughter and wishing you a short and uneventful NICU stay.

jjilly7 · May 2011

we lived 40 min away, and i was in no shape to walk or drive. My husband and i would go to the hospital after he came home from work, and would stay and hour or so...i wasn't physically or mentally strong enough to stay longer. After about 3-4 weeks, i started going on my own.

I would say tho, don't beat yourself up if you are not able to make it there, or not feeling up to it. my first week home was horrible emotionally. i needed to heal, but wanted to bond w/ baby, but felt like a terrible mom for not wanting to leave the house, or stay at the ronald mcdonald.

do what you're physically and mentally able to do, it will be better for you and the baby.

schenkertobe · May 2011

I lived almost an hour from the NICU. I would do chores/errands in the morning, then get to the NICU around 1pm and stay until 8 or 9pm every night.

ssg73 · May 2011

I was lucky that my wife and I didn't have to go back to work the entire time E was in the NICU so I didn't have to worry about driving. I was in the hospital for 8 days due to complications with my bp and kidney function. When I was discharged we were at the hospital all the time. We found that it was best for us to come in for her 2nd care time of the day around 11 and we stayed all day. In the early weeks we would stay to about 8 or 9 but found that was too long for us. We ended up with the following schedule which worked well for us.

11am arrive at nicu for care time

12:30 or 1 leave to pump and grab lunch

2 back for care time, pumping and kangaroo care. We would sometimes leave the unit to sit on the outside patio the nicu had (it was summer) sometimes we hung out the whole time on the unit

5 care time, bath (when she was older) weigh in

7 shift change and good bye to home

We liked giving E a large block of time where she had no visitors ect from 7 until we came back in the am. She was 30w 5d but only 2lb 5oz and was a slow grower (only .5 oz/day on a good day) so she needed tons of sleep and rest so that she could grow. It really comes down to what works for your family. I needed to be there all the time it stressed me out not to be. Others found that it was stressful to be on the unit. It really depends. There is not right or wrong was to go. I did find that taking breaks during the day to grab lunch (we were regulars at a pub down the street from the hospital it helped to get out and be with real people (although all the doctors hung out there so we were not with real people actually!)

jacque_z · May 2011

We were pretty close to our NICU. I went up twice a day and my husband usually went once a day. In the beginning we could only handle staying for a hour or so at a time. The alarms and the noises were just too stressful for me. Plus, there was nothing I could do really but sit and stare into her isolette. As we could care for her more, we stayed longer.

thecatsfancy · May 2011

The first week after discharge, I was at the hospital approx 1-2 hours a day. I was still dealing with some health problems (due to the HELLP syndrome) and was on medications that made me extremely tired. The second week after discharge, I was at the hospital all day - approx 8-9 hours a day. Parker came home at the end of the second week.

MrsGoody · May 2011

I have two other kids (ages 3 and 5), and I had been in the hospital on bedrest for 2 1/2 weeks prior to giving birth (I was induced at 34 weeks because my water had broken at 32 weeks). I only saw my kids a couple of times a week when they came to visit, and it was hard for me to be away from them. We live about 25 minutes from the hospital.

I was lucky enough to have a pretty easy labor and vaginal delivery, so I started feeling good physically a few days after giving birth. We've had my in-laws staying with us, so I was free to go to the hospital when I wanted, but I really just wanted to gain some semblance of normalcy at home since I was gone for so long, and spend time with my kids since I had to leave them so abruptly.

My schedule has been pretty consistent in the four weeks LO has been in the NICU - I would try to get a little extra sleep and spend time with my 3 year old in the morning, then go to the NICU in time for the 1pm feeding and spend 2-3 hours there. In the beginning I just did kangaroo care and then pump, but now that she's getting closer to discharge (she's 38 weeks), I'm trying to breastfeed and bottle-feed more. I would come home around 5 to have dinner with everyone and spend some time with my 5 year old daughter. Then, every other night my DH and I would go back to the NICU for the 9pm feeding.

I do feel like I could have spent more time there, but I felt like my other kids needed me more I felt like my time was better spent being there for them than just sitting by the isolette all day. That's just me though - you definitely have to find what works for you, and I agree with the other poster that you need to take time for yourself. One day it was beautiful out and I just skipped the NICU all together and took my kids to visit my sister and go to the park. It was nice to forget about the stresses for a little while. Good luck and hope your stay is short!

Deblondie1 · May 2011

We live about an hour from the hospital on a good day with no traffic. I go every morning around 9. Then when DH gets off work he comes and we leave around 8-9. So I guess I am there every day for about 11-12hrs. But I don't work either, I'm a SAHW, SAHM when Emily comes home.

Mefunkho · May 2011

Unfortunately we live 2 hours from the hospital. The day I was discharged I went home for 2 days and then came back to the hospital. There is a Ronald McDonald House here in the hospital so I stayed there for a few days and was basically with Addyson all day. Then I got a room at the big Ronald McDonald House in the city. I would come to the hospital around 8-9am and leave between 9-10pm. Now that she is doing better I have relaxed a little bit about how much I am here. I get here anywhere from 9-10am and leave between 5-7pm so I can do stuff at night (i.e. workout, laundry, EAT). You don't have to be super mom and be there all the time. Remember to take care of yourself too! HTH

adrielegorburu · May 2011

For the first two months I would get dropped off by DH in the mornings, he would come up and visit for a bit and then go to work. Then he would come back after the office and we would all stay for her 8 pm touch time and then I would go home. some days I was there for 12-14 hours. I dont know if I would suggest it though - It was a lot emotionally but I couldnt do much else then be with her. For the last two weeks I've been back to work part time so Im there from 8-10:30 am and then I go to the office and I'm back from 6-9:30 pm. During her first two months I did take two days off - once for sleep and another for mothers day massage and sleep. I felt awfully guilty but I needed it. Dont beat yourself up - I feel much better not spending the entire day there right now.

SushiNoMore · May 2011

What I discovered is that you're always going to feel like you aren't spending enough time there (unless you're there 24x7, which is really not a good idea). I felt guilty many many days as I was walking out the door. But, I couldn't stay there 24 hours a day for my own sanity.

We usually went in at 9am (in time for rounds). My husband (SAHD) would stay until the early afternoon, and I'd stay until 4 or 5pm. I'd usually take a long lunch "break," too.

We were told that part of the reason our son did so well because we spent so much time there. And, for us, that was about 7 or 8 hours a day. To our NICU, we were unusual in that we were spending so much time there, but, in my mind, it still didn't seem like enough.

Good luck figuring it out! Whatever you decide will be wonderful for your LO.

sandrarodz · May 2011

I had a c-section and was released from the hospital two days after had the babies. I liked it way better that way because if I wanted to go to the NICU they would have to wheel me down there and I hated to wait for them. I think for two days after I was realeased I stayed for probably 4-5 hours because i felt like my body needed to heal. There was a time that I felt like I was going to faint while in the NICU right after because I was literally given zero pain meds. For whatever reason it was not on my mind at the time and I thought that was just how things went. When I finally asked for some pain meds I was given tylenol with codine which did nothing for me so I just went without it. After about 4 days I was driving myself to the hospital so that I didnt have to wait on anyone to take me. I know your not suppose to drive but for me it was so much better to be able to spend as much time as I wanted with them. I stayed there all day from around 10am to 12am sometimes 1am.

aprilsarahjune · May 2011

DH and I live 10 minutes away. The girls were in the NICU for 28 and 30 days. I went every day, but 5 hours was my emotional/physical limit. That usually amounted to 2 care times for each girl and 2 pumping sessions and then I was spent.

JakesBride07 · May 2011

I went home on a Friday and DH was off the weekend with me, so we went in for rounds and stayed for one to two care times depending on how I felt. I would then go home and rest for a few hours and then do it all over again.

I put a pillow on my lap between the seat belt to hug, and took a wheelchair from the parking lot to the main hospital for the first few days. Once we got to the main hospital I would walk from the elevator to the unit. DH went back to work that Monday so I had a friend or family member drive me back and forth for a few days until I had a follow up with my doctor. I was originally told nondriving for 6 weeks, but after pleading my case he told me I could drive as long as I did not take the pain meds. I ended up needing the meds at night for the first two weeks, but after that I felt a lot better.

You just have to find a rythme that works for you. And rest when you can. Its not always that easy though.

Fancy3Face · May 2011

I had a c-section, so I had a 4 day stay. My recovery was quick. I was discharged with no pain meds.

When both babies were there I was there 12 hours a day. I'd go in the am right after shift change and stay til evening shift change. M worked, so he'd take the night shift (7p-midnight) and I went home and slept. When Annabel came home (after 12 days in the NICU) it was a little harder to get there at am shift change. We'd get to the hospital about 10a and stay til the pm shift change. Daddy came back up for the night shift. Michael came home after 19 days in the NICU.

They had relatively short NICU stays, so I'm not sure how we would have done it if they were there long term or even if the hospital was far away. Our hospital was 15 minutes from our house (on a toll road). Do what you can. Its hard to be away, but you have to take care of yourself too. Your baby knows you love them.

damabo80 · May 2011

Thanks all!!

katie4253:

Is there anywhere you can kind of just rest and chill-out during the day? Do you have access to a Ronald McDonald house or just a room to rest in besides the NICU? That way you could for for a stretch and not have to go home between. Maybe they have something like this and they just haven't told you about it either. For example, maybe there is a pumping room you could rest in if it came down to that.

Each NICU unit has a couch/bed for rooming in, and there's a communal "family room" with tv, couches, kitchen, etc. But since I am only 10m away , I may just end up going home for a few hours.

katie4253:

Are you in a lot of pain? I hope it isn't as bad as it had been for you.

It comes and goes. Today was the first day where I actually didn't want to scream out in pain. I'm trying to walk as much as possible, but the getting up/down sucks azz. There's one section on the incision site that burns and is causing 99% of the pain.

katie4253:

If you haven't been emotional yet, don't be surprised if that comes. I thought I was doing all awesome because they said 2-3 days pp is when moms usually get emotional. Apparently I'm a late bloomer because I've been a blubbering fool the since yesterday morning (5 days pp).

Dude. It came last night. It was late and I was going to go to sleep, but I just had to see her. I called the nurse to wheel me down there and I was a blubbering idiot the whole time. Then, when DH came in this morning, I was still crying. It's weird, b/c I'm not an emotional person by any stretch of the imagination, so I'm feeling myself crying and thinking "who IS this person that took over my body?" Crap...now that I'm typing this, a huge part of me wants to go back to the NICU and see her.

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After you were discharged from the hospital, how often are you at the NICU?

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