Leaving baby with dad

ktuttle7 · May 2011

At what age will you leave baby with dad? I have a six week old and was thinking of leaving my son with dad for a few hours with bottles. My husband seems to think it is too early to do this. I just think he is scared to be alone with our son.

MichMomofGirls · May 2011

A few days after I had her! With DD1 is was a couple days as well. Why wouldnt I? I was nursing with DD 1 and he jut called me to come home when she was hungry earlier than I thought she would be.

Phil&Corinna · May 2011

Once I was forced to stop bfing due to meds I was on, I went out almost right away to the movies with my girlfriend. Liam was about 3 weeks old. He probably is a bit nervous to be alone with him. Does he help now with diaper changes etc? As long as he's not completely clueless about how to change a diaper, he should be fine. Does your son already take bottles?? If not, you might want to make sure he will take one before going out!! Smile

GL

PartiallySunny · May 2011

Indifferent I hope I'm just not understanding your question. Are you saying you have not left your child alone with his/her father?

I have left my child with my H since he was born.

Edit: I exclusively breastfeed until I went back to work.

madhatter2003 · May 2011

It was about 3 weeks with DD, about 1 week old with DS.

Go for it! You deserve some time to yourself.

ManiacMcGee · May 2011

If you aren't EBF then I don't see what the problem is.

I EBF, but I've still ran out for a few short errands in the last 2 weeks.

smashasaurus · May 2011

When E was 2 weeks old. He'll never learn if you don't just do it.

I didn't have a chance to "ease into it." Just make him do it...

Bocciulo · May 2011

Ummm a few days after she was born. There is no reason a man cannot take care of his child himself.

lmg423 · May 2011

My dh stayed home the first 2 weeks. But within that time we were always together so it's not like he had her alone.

Now it's like our schedule doesn't really allow for him to be alone with her. I mean, if he isn't working I want to see him and be with him and our baby. It's not that I'm nervous to leave him alone with her - it's just when he's not working we want to be together.

Except in the last couple weeks. When he gets home from work, I'll run errands - grocery etc.

kristennd · May 2011

DH is going to be a SAHD. I started leaving them alone together about five days after we got home, and it would have been sooner if I'd had any urge before that to leave the house.

laurakaz13 · May 2011

PartiallySunny:

I hope I'm just not understanding your question. Are you saying you have not left your child alone with his/her father?

I have left my child with my H since he was born.

Edit: I exclusively breastfeed until I went back to work.

This. You seriously haven't left your LO alone with her father for the entire six weeks? Mine was alone with my DH a few days after birth. He also baths, changes, hangs out with and now that I pump, feeds her regularly.

elle980 · May 2011

I went back to work this week and am attending training out of state. So DS is at home with DH, however we have reinforcements coming - DH's mom and my mom are taking turns come each day to help DH out!

caranichole · May 2011

i've been leaving dh alone with her since the beginning as well i think their first day alone together was 2 days after she came home. dh was so nervous upon bringing her home but even while im here i have him do diaper changes, warm her milk and feed her, bathe her, dress her, etc. for the practice so he knows what to do when im not available. by the end of her first week home he was getting up in the middle of the night to change and feed her and let me sleep.

encourage him to practice a couple times/day while you are around and he will get more comfortable.

also, i know he would never do a walk through of her room/dresser to see where everything is (so annoying) so i frequently have him pull things out for me while im holding her or while im pumping so he learns where everything is stored. sometimes you gotta be sneaky. if you know she needs to be changed and you can come up with something else "important" to do, ask him to do it while you walk him through it. good luck

MissYouDietCoke · May 2011

DH enjoys Daddy and LO time. I know I definitely left him w/ DH before 6 weeks.

CutieBean79 · May 2011

What is the issue? If you didn't think he could take care of your child, why did you have a baby with him?

aubreyalise · May 2011

i think you're right that he's just scared and there isn't anything wrong with that, every family is different. the same way some women take their 2 day old to walmart and others hunker down for the first 3 months, i don't think there's a 'right' answer.

my first trip out of the house alone was just to run to BRU and get some bottles. DH and DS stayed home and were fine, i couldn't wait to get home. i don't think there was anything wrong with me for feeling that way.

in your case, you might want to not do a few hours for your first trip. maybe you can just go run a couple of errands? it sounds like DH might be nervous. mine has actually found it's easier when i'm not there. that way he doesn't think i'm hovering over him or watching what he's doing and he and DS get some quality guy time.

GL!

BeetleLinz1125 · May 2011

I left him with DD as soon as I could drive! Granted, my first trip was just to Wal-Mart for an hour, but it was nice to get out. Maybe start with smaller trips close by in case he should need your help. But he really needs to be able to take care of your LO without you there....there WILL be a time when you aren't available, and he will need to step it up. Better that he learns now instead of if anything stressful were to happen and he has to deal with that and having to learn how to take care of the LO.

ZTAsunshine · May 2011

Ummm any age... He is the daddy. Why wouldn't I leave the baby with him?

perplexed59 · May 2011

45 min after she was born. We had a home birth and I had to be transferred. My husband was left with the baby and was responsible for cleaning her up getting her dressed, into the car seat and to the hospital. I don't think I would have had a baby with my husband if I didn't trust his ability to care for the baby. I need the support and ability to leave the house on my own. I EBF and I feed before I leave and don't stay away longer than 3 hours.

ITGurl0626 · May 2011

Since the day we came home from the hospital I have left my baby alone with my DH. This is a joint effort...I didn't make this baby by myself.

p1nklemonade · May 2011

since we came home. also, while we were in the hospital, he was her primary caregiver. i had a section and some bp issues afterward and was pretty useless.

Bejebus · May 2011

Bocciulo:
Ummm a few days after she was born. There is no reason a man cannot take care of his child himself.

THIS exactly. DH gave our kids half their chromosomes, that means he gets an equal shot at taking care of them. BFing is no excuse once it's established, especially if your LO will be going to daycare- they have to learn to take a bottle!

ncbelle · May 2011

At any age - the only hold up for me was feeling that she was old enough to introduce a bottle if I was going to be gone longer than she would go without eating.

He's just as much her parent as I am!

SushiNoMore · May 2011

perplexed59:
45 min after she was born. We had a home birth and I had to be transferred. My husband was left with the baby and was responsible for cleaning her up getting her dressed, into the car seat and to the hospital. I don't think I would have had a baby with my husband if I didn't trust his ability to care for the baby. I need the support and ability to leave the house on my own. I EBF and I feed before I leave and don't stay away longer than 3 hours.

This. I don't understand why anyone would have a baby with a man if she didn't trust him to take care of it. Plus, my husband is going to be a SAHD, so he needs to be completely comfortable with our son before I go back to work.

April320 · May 2011

As soon as I was cleared to drive, I started running errands and leaving DH alone with TWO BABIES, so probably 2 weeks? Yes, he was nervous, and no, he's not quite as good at juggling both of them or knowing as quickly what they want when they're fussing, but he's figuring it out in his own way and everyone's doing great. Your husband will be fine, he's just nervous. Make sure your LO is okay taking a bottle and get out and enjoy the world. Your husband will likely find he enjoys some alone time with LO once he gets over the initial stress.

magdalina.h · May 2011

He was 3 weeks and I had grief support group. It would have been sooner, but I was still on pain meds and MH was home with us for the first month. No way would I ever consider not leaving his child alone with him and I EBF. I just pumped some bottles for him.

kabarbanel · May 2011

Bocciulo:
Ummm a few days after she was born. There is no reason a man cannot take care of his child himself.

this. I went out to the stor the day we got home from the hospital with DD and DH stayed with DS and DD. With DS he was about 5 days the first time I left the house.

Sharon21 · May 2011

My LO is almost six weeks and I have not left her alone with anyone yet. I am sure my husband is perfectly capable of caring for DD but I just haven't felt the need to leave her yet. I know others disagree but I feel like it is a big step that I am just not ready to take yet.

I think that you are right he is probably just scared. Maybe you could have him watch LO for a couple hours while you are in the house but not helping him at all. That might help to build his confidence that he could care for the baby without you there.

eeyoreem · May 2011

I'm a homebody and would prefer to wait for dh to get home and go out together but the first week we were home I left lo with dh while I went to take a nap. He had more baby experience than me going into this. He loves his son and would do what he could to make him happy.

Red_Dahlia · May 2011

Leaving without missing a feeding - 3 weeks

Leaving bottle of pumped milk - 6 weeks

But this wasn't because I didn't trust DH or anything, he's awesome, I just don't like being away from DD.

LadyXaverian · May 2011

I think it was somewhere between 3 and 4 weeks. I would have been fine to leave her alone with him sooner, though, if something had come up and I wanted/needed to go somewhere without them.

I trust my husband 100% to be alone with HIS child as much as he trusts me to be alone with her.

tokenhoser · May 2011

I haven't left a bottle, but I have snuck away just after a feed already. I've left LO with DH and with MIL at less than a week.

I don't want to pump much yet, but I did try just a little, and LO had no problem with the bottle.

I want DH to be as equal a parent as possible with me breastfeeding. I refuse to become the only baby expert.

MaybeBaby2 · May 2011

With DD, I think around 2-3wks (my Mom was here for almost 2 wks visiting). With Baby Boy, maybe at a little over a week old. Only because my Mom was visiting again. I left DH with DD and Baby Boy this past Saturday and he was completely fine. I didn't hesitate and neither did he.

lola6711 · May 2011

I leave my preemie twins home with their dad all the time. These are the first babies he has ever even held and he's doing great!

You are totally enabling him to not be the best father possible. He can do it --- don't give him a choice.

sparkelz · May 2011

I left DD with DH for about 45 min when she was 6 weeks old and I have left her a few times to run to the store for about 30 min. I am EBF and LO will not have anything to do with a bottle so DH is a little bit nervouse have me leave for very long. I also haven't had a reason or desire to leave for more then this.