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feel guilty abnout not reciprocating playdates because I'm PG

JAM2000JAM2000
in Stay at Home Moms

I feel so bad about this. Before I was pregnant, when a mom invited us over for a playdate I always would have them over a few weeks later.

But ever since I got pregnant I've been so tired and just feeling so blah and nauseous that I haven't bothered. My one mommy friend completely understood. In fact, sadly her mom just passed away and she said she is just busy helping her dad, etc. And I know the last thing on her mind is coming over here. I always tell her that as soon as I have more energy and just don't feel so 'blah' I have to have them come over. And she is pretty cool- I honestly think she understands, after all she has 3 kids!

But now we are getting more invites and while I hate to turn them down I hate to not feel like inviting them over. Is that bad of me? I'm sure these other moms- all who have 2 or more kids- get it and understand where I am coming from and how I physically feel. But I still 'feel' bad about it.

WDYT?

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Re: feel guilty abnout not reciprocating playdates because I'm PG

  • laney75laney75

    I don't think it is a big deal at all.  Is there a rule about reciprocating?  I mean, in general I try to, but I'm sure if you just said, "we'd love to come over but I feel so bad because I'm so not up to having people over right now" the other moms would understand right?  I certainly wouldn't hold it against someone if they didn't want to have us over for whatever reason.  And frankly, if they have you over once and you don't have them over and that somehow makes them angry, they don't have to have you over again, right? 

    I really don't see it as a big deal.  Go enjoy and have fun.  

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  • mabma80mabma80

    I don't see the big deal. You just don't feel ike having a ton of people over. I totally understand. I'll invite a friend or two, but not a whole playgroup, just to have chit chat time.  : )

    The way I see it is, I'm not making them have playgroups at their house. That's their choice.  So I don't feel bad. : ) 

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  • nekoraynenekorayne member
    Defiantly keep going to playdates, and don't feel the need to host. I tend to host most of our playdates and I never have a second thought if someone does not invite us over to reciprocate the playdate. Honestly I have a friend who is pregnant and she has not hosted a playdate in forever, I assume it is because she is so tired and worn out with her pregnancy and toddler. I'm sure everyone understands.
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  • manbearpig31610manbearpig31610
    Don't feel bad! If you feel up to going go and just plan to have them over when you are feeling better. I have a group of 6 mom friends (8 kids) and we do playdate/lunches every other wednesday and just take turns hosting. At the end of one playdate someone will volunteer to host the next. I haven't hosted one since I found out I was pregnant. I've been so exhausted just keeping up with DD. These last few weeks have really made a difference for me though and I am hosting my first one since BFP tomorrow! It's not as elaborate as the lunches I normally do (just doing a build your own baked potato bar and a salad and store bought dessert). just do as much as you can and if you can't don't worry. You'll be back to yourself at some point (hopefully soon)!
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  • WhitePicketFenceWhitePicketFence member
    I wouldn't feel too badly about it. Anyone who has been pregnant before, especially someone who's been pregnant with other children to care for, should totally understand.

    Heck, I felt so carppy for the first 15 weeks or so of this pregnancy that I didn't even leave the house unless I absolutely had to. DD and I practically hibernated all winter. The last thing I would have felt like doing during that time would be to host a playdate. There will be plenty of time for reciprocating once you feel back to normal again.
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  • Emcat1980@yahoo.comEmcat1980@yahoo.com

    I don't host either these days - between pregnancy and a teeny apartment.

    What I do is provide snacks/lunch sometimes though. That helps. Do ya'll ever eat at your playdates? The ones I am talking about are low key just with one other mom/kid. So I'll pick up a pizza on the way sometimes, or bring muffins, etc.

    Another option if the weather is nice is to organize/plan one at a local park. You could bring crackers and juice or whatever. I don't necessarily think it's required but it may make you feel better. Just a thought......

    Plus I didn't see how far along you are but if you are early on, it's ok to feel like crap and not do much - you'll probably feel better 2nd tri and can host then.

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