Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Refusing a c-section?
Ugh, that sucks! Have you thought about hiring a montrice, or a really experienced doula who could labor with you at home until you're really far along, and then you could get to the hospital pushing? Will the doctor you're working with require a c-section if you show up pushing, or just if there's someone you don't know on call? Have you looked up ICAN of WY? They might be able to help you out somehow, too.
Another option is to birth at home. My sister hired a traveling midwife with 20+ years of experience, including lots of experience with VBAC (my sister had a VBAC with her). You can always PM me for her info.
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
I have heard three things regarding this type of worst-case-scenario:
1) hospitals cannot turn away a woman in labor
2) hospitals cannot perform a c-section without your consent
3) hospitals CAN put the life of the baby above the life of the mother
I think your best bet is to do a homebirth or travel to one of the hospitals or birth centers that allows VBACs. You may have to get in the car at an early stage of labor to make it there comfortably, but it could be done. Otherwise I would try to find an OB/midwife/doula combination that will support you and will make arrangements with the hospital staff ahead of time (at your local hospital). I have heard of women walking into hospitals with laws and policies in hand so that the doctors know she means business.
That's a very good point, I'll have to look into that.
Aspen Marley ~ 12.22.11
My Blog of Randomness - Pocketful of Roses
I don't think my Dr. would require the c-section if I show up pushing. She seemed like she didn't agree with the hospital's no vbac policy. But it's the other 3 doctors, who are all male, that are against vbacs. If one of those doctors are on-call when I go into labor I don't know if they would support me or require a c-section.
I've thought about a homebirth and I'm not sure if I am comfortable with that option. I guess I have lots of time to research and really think about how important a vbac is to me.
Thanks for the suggestions!
Aspen Marley ~ 12.22.11
My Blog of Randomness - Pocketful of Roses
Thanks for your input. I've considered traveling to a different hospital, but I'm due at the end of December. The road conditions here can be dangerous in the winter and highways are often closed due to blowing snow. I have family in Minneapolis and used to live there until just recently. I'm considering staying with family the last month of my pg so I can go into labor while I'm there. But then that means DH won't be there. Ugh, it just seems like RCS is the easiest option.
Aspen Marley ~ 12.22.11
My Blog of Randomness - Pocketful of Roses
Hospitals cannot perform c-sections without consent or court order. Hospitals can petition for a court order, but most judges believe in patient autonomy and will deny the petition, especially after the death of Angela Carder, a women forced to have a c section.
It would not be AMA and AMA does not disqualify you from insurance coverage. That is a threat doctors/hospitals came up with.
Yeah, I work partly in the billing dept at a doctors' office. Insurance doesn't care about what is best for the patient, they care about what is cheapest for them.