Tearing scares me so badly that.....

dazidog · May 2011

I almost want to cancel my trial VBAC and just do the RCS. I was reading the post below about tearing and to be honest is scares me to death! It's not the contraction pain, the long tiring hours of labor, or the 'ring of fire'....it's the tearing I dread most about having a successful VBAC.

I know, I know I may not even tear or it may be very little but still, there is the possibility. My c/s recovery wasn't all that bad. In fact I would say a heck of a lot easier than most of the tearing recovery stories below.

I am doing a trial VBAC for many reasons and I obviously won't let this one "maybe" fear stop me but I wish I wasn't so freaked out about it!

Emcat1980@yahoo.com · May 2011

I didn't read anything below but here's my story: DS was 35+5 weeks, 6 lbs 6 oz, 12 hr labor with about 45 min of pushing. I had an episiotomy and I tore....ended up being 3rd degree that required a couple of sutures. Recovery wasn't fun but wasn't horrible. I did the peri bottle, sitz baths, etc as directed. I was easily up and about an hour after I had him and really had no issues. Take your stool softeners, follow the doctor's orders and you'll be fine. The only thing that was a bit of an issue was intimacy w/ my DH later...it was a little tender for months.

I have heard perineal massage helps w/ reducing tearing for first time vaginal deliveries. It can't hurt to do it - I would google it and give it a try.

lynsef · May 2011

Emcat:

I didn't read anything below but here's my story: DS was 35+5 weeks, 6 lbs 6 oz, 12 hr labor with about 45 min of pushing. I had an episiotomy and I tore....ended up being 3rd degree that required a couple of sutures. Recovery wasn't fun but wasn't horrible. I did the peri bottle, sitz baths, etc as directed. I was easily up and about an hour after I had him and really had no issues. Take your stool softeners, follow the doctor's orders and you'll be fine. The only thing that was a bit of an issue was intimacy w/ my DH later...it was a little tender for months.

I have heard perineal massage helps w/ reducing tearing for first time vaginal deliveries. It can't hurt to do it - I would google it and give it a try.

This, I also had a 3rd degree tear and an episiotomy that required a lot of sutures. I also followed all of the docs recs and at my 6 wk appt he said he could barely even tell I had recently delivered b/c it healed so well. I didn't really have the tenderness with intimacy though. I used ALOT of lubricant the first few times though because I was soooo nervous that it was going to hurt, but it was fine.

novilise · May 2011

Me, too! Me, too!

And I hate to say this, but it also scares me a lot because I already get really bad anal fissures (seriously some of the worst pain I have ever had...much worse than the c-section incision).

My first son was stuck in my pelvis, so I am really scared that I am truly small there and among other fears, will tear badly. Then I'll have a c-section scar and tearing below, too!

I know it is probably worrying too much because there is no guarantee that a second c-section will go as well as the first either. (Bad pain for a couple of days ...some from exhaustion after long labor....but felt so much better after only a week.)

novilise · May 2011

PS. If you haven't seen it, someone also brought this up on the VBAC board today.

chloephoebecali · May 2011

I was the SAME way. Nothing scared me more than the tearing/episiotomy. Well, I had an episitomy, and possibly tore (ob wouldn't give me much detail/amount of stitches). My ob turns the epi off in the end (for pushing), and gives a localized shot when he stitches. It wasn't fun to be cut, but it wasn't so bad that I wouldn't do it all over again (and I'm a baby). I'd rather go through that again than need a c/s, but I've never had a c/s. There are always worst case stories, but in general it isn't the worst thing in the world. I thought the pain of contrax when the epi wore and I was ready to push was way worse. The after care is a PITA, but I couldn't even tell you about my first pp bowel movement. I don't remember, but I remember being afraid of it. It must have been okay. GL!

sleepingbeauty825 · May 2011

I much prefer my episiotomy over my c section!!

kimbo1216 · May 2011

It used to TERRIFY me. However, I made a post on the natural birthing board asking how it felt and if it's really that bad. I feel so much better now. Most of the women said they didn't even know they had torn until the doctor told them.

Here's the link if you'd like to read their responses (I think it will be helpful whether or not you plan on getting an epi or not).

helenejr · May 2011

kimbo1216:

It used to TERRIFY me. However, I made a post on the natural birthing board asking how it felt and if it's really that bad. I feel so much better now. Most of the women said they didn't even know they had torn until the doctor told them.

Here's the link if you'd like to read their responses (I think it will be helpful whether or not you plan on getting an epi or not).

I agree with Kimbo1216 - i was scared but read their posts and alot of women don't even notice it happening - as for the care down there afterwards - i guess caring for a tear is something i am willing to take if it means avoiding a C-section IMO

sparkymcgeee · May 2011

I had a 2nd degree tear and I honestly felt fine the day of. I was able to have a bowel movement that day. The bruising in my back from the epidural hurt worse than my tear. I was also terrified of labor and delivery because of tearing and for me being pregnant was way worse than the actual delivery and recovery. I'm three weeks out and I feel totally fine. Hopefully you have an experience like mine. Good luck with your VBAC!

Lotzodotz · May 2011

I had a small tear and it really wasn't bad at all. I took Tylenol, used the peri bottle and dermoplast and just took it easy and I was fine. I have also had abdominal surgery (not a c section though) and I would take a tear any day over abdominal surgery. It's true, you don't even know it happens because of the epidural (if you get one) and all the pressure of the babies head.

iris427 · May 2011

I had a 1st degree tear with my VBAC. It hurt while it was healing but not that bad. I had an easy c/s recovery and I'm still really glad I had a VBAC.

GL

augustjam16 · May 2011

Out of contractions, labor, ring of fire...you're the most worried about tearing? I hate to say it but that's pretty good. Honestly tearing is nothing compared to the other things. You don't even know it happened. I didn't even know I tore until my MW was stitching me up. Now an episiotomy is worth being afraid of but really, if tearing is your biggest fear, you'll be ok.

Bridgetkaryn · May 2011

So everyone is giving you lots of encouragement to do the VBAC and that is great, but I had a 3rd borderline 4th degree tear and an episotomy and it has been almost 16 months and I still have issues with rectal bleeding when I have a BM, intense pain with BM's. Recently sexy time with my hubby has gotten better, but it is still uncomfortable but no longer painful (lots and lots of lube)... Honestly, if I had the choice I would have had a c-section to begin with and would have one when i deliver LO in August. Daily reminders of my hoo-ha being ripped in half is no fun at all for 16+ months...

One thing that would influence my decision (personally speaking) would be the head size/general baby size of my last child. DS was ony 7lbs 13oz, but his head size was in the 100th percentile. My husband has a big noggin and I will admit, so do I... 2.5 hours of pushing and they still had to use a vacuum to help get him out.

I don't want to seem like a debbie downer or anything, but I didn't want you to think that everyone has this awesome, I tore but healed fine experience.

julygal · May 2011

Every birth experience has the possibility for its horror stories. Some people tear horribly with a long recovery. Others have their c-section scar re-open. I am not discounting those people's experience. They sound terrible, but I choose not to live in the fear of the rare story.

With both my prior pregnancies I tore. I did not feel it either time. I did not feel the stitching other than some tugging. I was tender for about a week, but I think I would have been even without tearing. With my first it was a 1st degree tear. My second was a second degree perienal tear and a small peri-urethral tear (dr didn't even stitch it). Healing with my second was harder because there was more "damage", but I used the epifoam, witch hazel pads, and benzocaine spray along with the peri bottle and advil.

Ivana_Stolichnaya · May 2011

I tore up and down and I won't lie, it hurt like hell. If the Dr. starts talking 'vacuum', make sure your epidural is fully bumped up. That's what caused the tearing. I had been pushing for 2.5 hours and was losing steam fast. She was barely even crowning and the Dr. yanked her out...no perineal massage...nothing. They turned the epidural down, maybe even off for the pushing and he went ahead and pulled her out before the epidural could take more of an affect. I felt myself tear and it was awful.

I was sore for a couple weeks, on pain meds and stool softeners for about a month. I couldn't sit without using a donut pillow for two weeks.Couldn't enjoy sex for about 6 months postpartum.

So again, let me emphasize to you...if the Dr. mentions (s)he wants to use the vacuum, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE SUFFICIENT PAIN MANAGEMENT GOING ON. Hard lesson learned for me.

MustanGTbaby13 · May 2011

Are you doing perineal massage?

mari_gold · May 2011

I have yet to hear a woman say she WASN'T afraid of tearing. I think that's totally normal!

I had a second-degree tear with my son and, honestly, I can't imagine how a first-degree tear could be easier. I had very little pain, mostly tenderness that I attributed to all the stretching in that region. I never used the numbing spray, sitz bath or witch hazel pads -- just took Motrin occasionally and diligently used the spray bottle in lieu of toilet paper.

So, even though I did end up tearing, it was far, far from the traumatizing experience I thought it would be. I don't even remember it happening because crowning was such an intense sensation.

trtgfc17 · May 2011

Relax!

Doctors cut you while you're numb to make sure tearing doesn't happen. When they cut you and stitch you afterwards, you heal back like nothing happened. Plus you've got to tell yourself- "if I was in a car accident or something, I'd face the same issues" It's ok, not a big deal, and I seriously doubt you'll tear because the docs prevent that any way.

KittahMama · May 2011

trtgfc17:

Relax!

Doctors cut you while you're numb to make sure tearing doesn't happen. When they cut you and stitch you afterwards, you heal back like nothing happened. Plus you've got to tell yourself- "if I was in a car accident or something, I'd face the same issues" It's ok, not a big deal, and I seriously doubt you'll tear because the docs prevent that any way.

Uh this is the dumbest thing I have read on the bump today.

They USED to routinely do episiotomies (cutting) instead of letting a woman tear but most docs now a days prefer a tear to a cut because it heals better. Not only that but cutting can lead to further tearing that wouldn't have occurred otherwise (instead of a 1st degree tear you get a 3rd or 4th because they cut already). My doctor equated it to cutting a piece of cloth makes it easier to tear the rest of the way down.

They stitch you up when you are numb, though. That would be accurate. And since when is having a baby like being in a car accident?

Bridgetkaryn · May 2011

KittahMama:
trtgfc17:

Relax!

Doctors cut you while you're numb to make sure tearing doesn't happen. When they cut you and stitch you afterwards, you heal back like nothing happened. Plus you've got to tell yourself- "if I was in a car accident or something, I'd face the same issues" It's ok, not a big deal, and I seriously doubt you'll tear because the docs prevent that any way.

Uh this is the dumbest thing I have read on the bump today.

They USED to routinely do episiotomies (cutting) instead of letting a woman tear but most docs now a days prefer a tear to a cut because it heals better. Not only that but cutting can lead to further tearing that wouldn't have occurred otherwise (instead of a 1st degree tear you get a 3rd or 4th because they cut already). My doctor equated it to cutting a piece of cloth makes it easier to tear the rest of the way down.

They stitch you up when you are numb, though. That would be accurate. And since when is having a baby like being in a car accident?

Could not agree more on the dumbness of this statement... And I would like to add they still do episiotomies, and even then you can still tear! And trust me, no matter a tear or a cut, very few women heal back like nothing happened... something has ALWAYS happened down there...

Val3G · May 2011

augustjam16:

Out of contractions, labor, ring of fire...you're the most worried about tearing? I hate to say it but that's pretty good. Honestly tearing is nothing compared to the other things. You don't even know it happened. I didn't even know I tore until my MW was stitching me up. Now an episiotomy is worth being afraid of but really, if tearing is your biggest fear, you'll be ok.

This was my experience! I was afraid of tearing when I felt the "ring of fire", but the midwives were great at helping to prevent it. With my 8 lb. first baby I only needed 1 stitch. And I never would have known if they hadn't told me!

Perineal massage can help, and you can talk to your doctor or midwife about using lots of olive oil and warm cloths on your perineum during delivery. It works!!

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