Baby Shower for 2nd Baby?

stephensweetie · May 2011

I keep hoping to have a shower this time around but no one has brought it up yet. I had a boy last time and this time I'm having a girl so I was hoping to have at least a small one. I'm not going to be rude and bring it up to my friend, but I threw both of hers so I was hoping she would do mine too. I know I'm probably being petty and I'm not going to ask for one....just wondering if I should hold my breath for one. August will be here before I know it!

BetsyDavis · May 2011

My friends all offered to do a shower for this baby when we first found out but only one has brought up recently. I told her no shower I don't personally feel comfortable having one when I just had DD's not even 2 years ago and none of my family would come. So instead we are doing a girls day out with a few friends. We're thinking shopping, lunch, and maybe the spa. If you really want one I would casually bring it up or plan your own. Around here most don't do showers for baby number 2 unless over 4 year difference and opposite sex and even then some still find it tacky.

MrsGo4Hockeychick · May 2011

I wouldn't hold your breath. Second showers are tacky. Even when disguised as a "sprinkle". Most good friends and family will bring a gift when the baby is born.

stephensweetie · May 2011

Yeah, thats what I'm thinking. I did one for my friend because she had a girl after having a boy about 4 years before so I did a small one. I don't need alot, just a few things and obviously mostly just clothes. So I'll just forget about it! No biggie...I just wondered what others were doing.

BonitaKaz · May 2011

MrsGo4Hockeychick:
I wouldn't hold your breath. Second showers are tacky. Even when disguised as a "sprinkle". Most good friends and family will bring a gift when the baby is born.

This. The only time I think a "sprinkle" is appropriate is if your children are more than 5 years apart. Even then, I think it's tacky to bring it up to someone or to throw one for yourself.

tink7227 · May 2011

My first two were 4.5 years apart and I didn't expect or ask for a sprinkle. There were two other girls at my work pregnant. One it was also her second and the other was a ftm. They threw the ftm a shower and I had no problem not being included.

I did get lots of gifts once the baby came, and I didn't have one of opposite sex. When you have a baby people bring gifts, out of kindness not expectation!

fabfive · May 2011

my advice is to take the position that you will not have a shower this time around. there are 6 years between this and my last pregnancy and we have NO baby stuff left over. nobody has offered a shower or a sprinkle and i don't expect them to...thankfully dh & i are in a great financial position that we can buy all the new baby items ourselves. we may host a get-together so our friends/co-workers/relatives can meet the baby once she is born, but we are strongly discouraging gifts.

Jennairess · May 2011

My SIL is throwing me a shower for my second, but its been 9 years since I had my daughter (even though I still have most of the stuff from her)

If no one throws you one, throw one for yourself if you really want one...have like a cookout or something casual, just a thought

JenJune3 · May 2011

I think that I am the odd ball because I don't see a problem with having a second shower. My friends had one for me last weekend, it was small, but my last child is 4.5 years old and the opposite gender. Also, I don't have anything left from when she was a baby. My cousin just had a shower for her 2nd boy and I didn't see a problem with it at all!

beachgirl10 · May 2011

I am not holding my breath for nor expecting one. Considering mine will be exactly 2 years apart, I don't expect one.

My personal opinion is that they are kind of rude and gift grabby. If you want to celebrate your baby(with no gifts intended), either do some kind of casual dinner at a restaurant in the next month or 2 or a sip'n'see after the baby comes to let everyone meet your baby.

stephensweetie · May 2011

Oh I wouldn't throw myself one and around here it isn't considered tacky to have a 2nd one, it's just not as common to have one 2nd time around but it is done. I have been buying things here and there and will continue. Like I said, I'm not really holding out for one, just wondered. I'm definately not going to say anything if I don't end up having one I just wanted other people's opinion on it.

MelissaS5338 · May 2011

A friend of mine insisted upon throwing me another shower despite my protests. I think it is sweet, but at the same time, I agree with the "greedy" and "gift grabby" part of it. We really don't need anything for this one except the usual clothing and decor. (which I have already purchased WAY to much of each already) Smile

While I am appreciative, I would much rather have gone out to dinner with some friends instead.

TexasBrideOct04 · May 2011

My friends offered to throw me a sip and see after the baby gets here. I had a nice couples shower for Andrew and didn't expect anything this time around, but I'm happy my friends offered.

It'll be fun to celebrate this baby and people might bring clothes or something, but gifts are not expected so that makes me feel better about it.

mdargie · May 2011

JenJune3:
I think that I am the odd ball because I don't see a problem with having a second shower. My friends had one for me last weekend, it was small, but my last child is 4.5 years old and the opposite gender. Also, I don't have anything left from when she was a baby. My cousin just had a shower for her 2nd boy and I didn't see a problem with it at all!

Mostly this. If someone is eager to throw you one, I wouldn't decline, but maybe emphasize keeping it small and don't register for big items. Since they are different genders, I can see why you might need new items. But I definitely wouldn't ever ask for one.

LJR 84 · May 2011

Eh, I think 2nd baby showers are incredibly tacky. (And gift grabby). I didn't even want a first baby shower though. I think they're corny.

isisbluu · May 2011

MrsGo4Hockeychick:
I wouldn't hold your breath. Second showers are tacky. Even when disguised as a "sprinkle". Most good friends and family will bring a gift when the baby is born.

This is something that I do not understand. Why is only the first child celebrated? One of my co-workers discussed having a baby shower for my 2nd son, but I believe that ALL of the children should be celebrated, not just the first one... no matter how far apart they are. A baby shower is just not for gifts, but for love as well and I would want all of my children as well as any other women's children to be celebrated. JMO

angelwings111 · May 2011

I have secretly been hoping for a sprinkle, not for the gifts, just to celebrate my DD's arrival. I feel bad that she is not receiving as much attention/celebration as DS did, but that is just the way it goes I guess.

LJR 84 · May 2011

isisbluu:

MrsGo4Hockeychick:
I wouldn't hold your breath. Second showers are tacky. Even when disguised as a "sprinkle". Most good friends and family will bring a gift when the baby is born.

This is something that I do not understand. Why is only the first child celebrated? One of my co-workers discussed having a baby shower for my 2nd son, but I believe that ALL of the children should be celebrated, not just the first one... no matter how far apart they are. A baby shower is just not for gifts, but for love as well and I would want all of my children as well as any other women's children to be celebrated. JMO

You can celebrate the second child without having a baby shower. Baby shower=gifts. The purpose of a baby shower is to "shower" the first time mom with gifts. As a second time mom, I can't imagine what the point of a second baby shower would be...unless I wanted to be super gift grabby. I think baby showers for #2 are in extremely poor taste.

StefandTodd · May 2011

isisbluu:

MrsGo4Hockeychick:
I wouldn't hold your breath. Second showers are tacky. Even when disguised as a "sprinkle". Most good friends and family will bring a gift when the baby is born.

This is something that I do not understand. Why is only the first child celebrated? One of my co-workers discussed having a baby shower for my 2nd son, but I believe that ALL of the children should be celebrated, not just the first one... no matter how far apart they are. A baby shower is just not for gifts, but for love as well and I would want all of my children as well as any other women's children to be celebrated. JMO

And this is something I just do not understand. Baby showers are meant to celebrate that there is a baby coming, but not to celebrate/honor THE baby...they're meant to celebrate/honor the mom. I'm having two showers, and the invites say "in honor of Stefanie" and "let's celebrate Stefanie." The term "shower" comes from the party being an opportunity to "shower" the mom with gifts.

I think it must be about what you perceive a shower to be whether or not you think it's tacky to have one for a second, third, etc child.

MrsGo4Hockeychick · May 2011

LJR 84:
isisbluu:

MrsGo4Hockeychick:
I wouldn't hold your breath. Second showers are tacky. Even when disguised as a "sprinkle". Most good friends and family will bring a gift when the baby is born.

This is something that I do not understand. Why is only the first child celebrated? One of my co-workers discussed having a baby shower for my 2nd son, but I believe that ALL of the children should be celebrated, not just the first one... no matter how far apart they are. A baby shower is just not for gifts, but for love as well and I would want all of my children as well as any other women's children to be celebrated. JMO
You can celebrate the second child without having a baby shower. Baby shower=gifts. The purpose of a baby shower is to "shower" the first time mom with gifts. As a second time mom, I can't imagine what the point of a second baby shower would be...unless I wanted to be super gift grabby. I think baby showers for #2 are in extremely poor taste.

this. A shower is a party showering a MOTHER with gifts to honor her transition to motherhood. If showers were meant to honor the baby, they'd be held after the baby is born, not before.

nhinze01 · May 2011

My MIL is throwing us a shower(with the help of my mother). I have a 4 1/2 yo son to a previous relationship so this is my DH's first. I'm so thankful to share in the old "tradition" of having shower with him. I'm also excited to have both of our families together to celebrate~especially because we will be celebrating the first girl in the family. We have only been married for 6 months so I'm excited to get both families together. I do feel a little guilty because in the last year we have had my bridal shower, wedding and now a baby shower, but I figured if anyone has a real problem, they just won't come!

At my work we throw a small shower for everyone who is pregnant, 1st babies or 3rd! We want to show the mother that we care about her and new baby!

Bethie77 · May 2011

I think people seriously need to get over the 2nd Showers are tacky thing, I think all babies should be celebrated. I am having a girl, and my son is 6 years old, I got rid of everything. I am having another shower and have heard from family that it is tacky, my attitude is if they think it's tacky stay home.

TanyaKM · May 2011

LJR 84:
Eh, I think 2nd baby showers are incredibly tacky. (And gift grabby). I didn't even want a first baby shower though. I think they're corny.

All of this.

Bethie77 · May 2011

I just don't get it, the gifts are not for the mother. The gifts are for the baby, so you are celebrating the baby in my opinion.

StefandTodd · May 2011

Bethie77:
I just don't get it, the gifts are not for the mother. The gifts are for the baby, so you are celebrating the baby in my opinion.

I so completely disagree. Who is opening the gifts? Who would be purchasing a stroller if someone was not generous enough to buy it? Who is thankful for the gifts?

A couple decides to have a baby. A couple requires and/or desires things to take care of said baby. It is the couple/the mother who requires/desires the "things"...a baby actually requires/desires very little that is gifted to it's parents at a baby shower.

Again, I think this comes down to a matter of perception and ours are just different - not right or wrong. It only irks me b/c I am certain I'll feel celebratory towards my future kids without ever desiring another shower in my honor and I sort of resent the implication that women who feel that way aren't adequately "celebrating" all their children equally. It's absurd.

Bethie77 · May 2011

"I sort of resent the implication that women who feel that way aren't adequately "celebrating" all their children equally. It's absurd."

Not what I was saying at all. I was just saying that if people are having 2nd showers and someone is throwing it for them it does not make them tacky.

MrsGo4Hockeychick · May 2011

StefandTodd:
Bethie77:
I just don't get it, the gifts are not for the mother. The gifts are for the baby, so you are celebrating the baby in my opinion.
I so completely disagree. Who is opening the gifts? Who would be purchasing a stroller if someone was not generous enough to buy it? Who is thankful for the gifts?
A couple decides to have a baby. A couple requires and/or desires things to take care of said baby. It is the couple/the mother who requires/desires the "things"...a baby actually requires/desires very little that is gifted to it's parents at a baby shower.
Again, I think this comes down to a matter of perception and ours are just different - not right or wrong. It only irks me b/c I am certain I'll feel celebratory towards my future kids without ever desiring another shower in my honor and I sort of resent the implication that women who feel that way aren't adequately "celebrating" all their children equally. It's absurd.

all of this. But then again, in this age where people feel so entitled, I'm not surprised that 2nd showers are becoming as common as they are.

Bethie77 · May 2011

I do not feel entitled to a shower, my mom offered to host one, I lost a baby last summer, so we just want to celebrate this baby.

WhitePicketFence · May 2011

MrsGo4Hockeychick:
I wouldn't hold your breath. Second showers are tacky. Even when disguised as a "sprinkle". Most good friends and family will bring a gift when the baby is born.

I agree with this. I find second showers extremely tacky regardless of the age/gender differences of your children. Sorry.

WhitePicketFence · May 2011

Oh, and just because we aren't having a shower this time around does not mean that we will not "celebrate" the birth of this baby. We fully intend to have a "meet the new baby" party at our home once she's born. We'll provide the food and drinks and gifts are not necessary. We just want to invite our family and friends to share in our happiness. I don't need to receive gifts for that.

Bethie77 · May 2011

Those of you that are not having 2nd showers are entitled to your opinion.

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