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Multiples
"I was worth the wait" onesies- would they bother you?
(I was thinking of posting this on PAIF, but that place scares me!)
Our IF journey was relatively short, but it was still a journey. I didn't tell anyone about it at the time, and with the exception of here and my mother, I've never talked about it with anyone since. People can probably guess that we used fertility assistance, but if you ask me irl, you'll get a vague answer and a lie if you press me further. Props to those who openly talk about it, but that's just not me.
Anyway, my mom's friend (who I've seen once in probably 20 years) sent me matching onesies and hats that say, "I was worth the wait" when the boys were born. Very thoughtful of her to send a gift, and I know she didn't mean anything IF -related by it. However, I wasn't sure how I felt about them at the time, and now that they actually fit, I still don't know how I feel.
On the one hand, it's a clean shirt and a gift and stop being so over-analytical and unappreciative. On the other hand, I'm not sure I need a reminder of all the sh!tty parts of IF plastered on my babies' chest. (Again, not that that's what she was insinuating.)
My IF journey wasn't some epic battle I went through with an army of supportive women and came out victorious the other side. I choose to go it alone, but I still struggle with how the process effected my husband and me. Beating IF isn't a badge of honor for me. It's 18 months of my life that chewed me up, spit me out and don't ever plan to repeat. The ends justify the means, obviously, but it's still a little raw.
So anyway, I put on the onesies today only because they're out of clean short-sleeved shirts. DH told me I was nuts for thinking too much into it, but I figured I'd ask the experts.
Am I crazy for letting this strike a nerve or how would you feel about them? TIA!
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Re: "I was worth the wait" onesies- would they bother you?
Yes, I think I'd be a little put off by it.
I've had a friend make comments that I better be careful or I could end up pregnant "naturally". I know she means nothing hurtful by it, but why say it?
IF is a touchy subject, so I feel like it should be sort of an unwritten law that you don't bring it up to a person who's dealt with it unless they bring it up first. Maybe I'm too sensitive.
I agree with your DH that you are thinking too much into it. It is a cute onesie and probably looks cute on your LO;s. With that being said,
I am sorry for your IF and that it was a rough time on you. So if putting the onesies on them brings up painful memories than dont put it on them. Just do what makes you feel comfortable.
I think if you have to think about it this much you shouldn't put them on the boys. That's too much stress over a dumb shirt, clean or not.
PAIF scares you? Somehow that just made me LOL!!!
Anyway, my road was LONG and HARD - and with the exception of the bump (which I only started posted during my last cycle), we went at it alone too. DH's family is super religious and it would've just opened up a whole giant can of worms. We choose to be private about it and while some people suspect treatments, they don't know how many and what.
I'm personally not into those onesies - I know the S/Paif girls are all into it, not me. Feels a little raw to me. The IF wound is still wiiiiiiiiiide open.
4 Fresh IVF cycles + 1 FET where embies didn't survive the thaw = 2 perfect little men!
sFET 11/9/11 - Beta 11/18 BFP!
I agree with this. Also, we had a similar IF journey--although shorter--and when I saw that shirt, it didn't scream IF to me. I thought it meant that the baby wearing it was worth the 9 (more or less) months of waiting, puking, backaches, dr's appts, etc. that we all do.
someone that knows about our IF struggle sent us onesies that say miracles happen. They are sweet. I'll let my kids wear them in our house to crawl around in. Will I take them out in them? Um, no.
I get enough "are they natural or artificial" questions as it is, I'm not putting them in a shirt that invites more stupidity.
And FWIW, I'm an open book about our IF struggles. But not with some shitstain at the grocery store :P
This, and that it seems like waiting FOREVER once you are pregnant...so worth the 9 month wait...? But, if you just aren't comfortable with it, that's your call. If she's not around, maybe you can re-gift to someone else having a baby?
TTC #1 Since July 2009 slightly low progesterone, endo, kinked right tube, Clomid, Lap and Hysteroscopy, and 13 months TTC = BFP! (7/23/10) Cautiously Expecting... 8/19/10 - it's TWINS!... 11/8/10 - Boy/Girl twins! Born 37w4d
I didn't have an IF journey, but I was married for a long time before we started a family and something that referenced any sort of wait would make me uncomfortable. I just don't think my babies should be wearing clothes that spread my personal business to the world.
I'm also a pain about my kids wearing stuff with words on it. I hate message shirts so I probably wouldn't let them wear the shirts on that principle.
If it rubs salt in a wound, don't let them wear them. Donate them to Goodwill or take them to a consignment store.
I don't have pictures of my mom or grandparents or brother displayed in my house for that very reason. It just brings back stuff I'd just as soon forget.
I didn't have an IF issues but shirts like that rub me the wrong way and I'm not entirely sure why. I do agree with PP's though, if they provoke that much thought -- don't bother with them or just let your guys wear them around the house.
If it bothers you that much I would donate them. But first I would take a picture of the kids in them, send it to the lady that gave them to you and then be done.
We had the shirts and I loved them. The saying was so true they were SOOOOOO worth the wait!
I agree w/ the others who've said that since you were hesitant from the start over these shirts, don't feel bad donating them or selling them to another MoM that is a fan of them!
I too am not very vocal about having an IF journey and get awkwardly asked enough of whether or not we did use assistance that I'd just either wear them as pjs/ emergency outfits in the diaper bag or just sell/give as mentioned above.
This. We had several onsies like this and we always got compliments. Good compliments, often times calling them miracles and blessings.
That said, I'm not one to never want to talk about what we went through to get them. It's painful and it sucked, but if no one ever talks about it, IF is going to remain a hush-hush topic, which is the last thing I want.
It's hard to imagine NOT having gone through IF, and that's why it's hard to answer objectively. If I hadn't gone through IF, those onesies would have a different meaning... like, wow pg takes a long time and is hard, esp a twin pg, but these LOs were worth the wait.
Having been through IF they might irk me a little, but I'd probably use them around the house - they're clean!
Hi! I'm new to The Bump website! I've had the magazines but never been on the website.
Is there a way to contact the OP privately? I wanted to talk to you about the onesies & hats. I'm actually looking for them! That's how I found this thread! I have a 4 month old- as of TODAY!
I read into it strictly as 9 months of waiting. But I could see given certain circumstances it could bother some people.
When I was early in my pregnancy with my son, my husband took me to Victoria BC for Valentines Day getaway. While there I found a onesie that said "all my mommy wanted was a backrub". I didn't read much into it but though it was sort of funny at the time, I thought.
I delivered a full term beautiful boy. Had another unecessary c-section which I nearly died from- a blood transfusion saved my life. So there was a lot of stress and sadness around my son's birth but I survived after a horrible week in the hospital. Then we lost him to SIDS at 7 weeks. I haven't gotten rid of anything of my son's (he would have been 19 months now and just adorable). But I look at that onesie and it makes me sick.
If you'd like to pass them along, I'd be glad to take them off your hands (since I haven't reviewed thread rules, I'm keeping this fairly vague). I only need one set but could keep one as a baby gift. Lots of babies coming soon!
You can contact me at chatthruemail@yahoo.com.
Best wishes and congratulations! ~Kristie
You mean these?
I went through 3 years of IF and they don't bother me at all. Actually, they gave me hope. I found these on Uncommom Goods long before I got my bfp, so I longed for the day I could order these. The way I took it, everything I went through had a purpose. All the shots, invasive doctor's appts, loss of dignity, procedures I went through was worth it to get the two perfect babies I have. So to me, 3 years of IF was worth the wait to get these two sons.
Normally I don't like clothes with words on them either, but these have special meaning to me.
If they bother you though, by all means, give them away.
6 IUIs,IVF #1 w/ICSI = BFP!
Betas, 332 & 856 = twins!
Our baby girl is here!