Schedule conflicts with bedtime

austenreader85 · May 2011

DS was sleeping 8-8 (with a few wake ups) before we started transitioning him to the crib. Then bedtime was all over the place for a few weeks. Now for about 2 weeks it's been 7. He's been very happy with 7pm and will sleep until around 7 am, with 1-2 wake ups.

We only have one car and DH works 30 miles away and his typical schedule is 3pm-3am so he takes it. If I need to do anything with the car, I get it done earlier in the day while he's asleep.

Then there's the weekend. Our church has evening services on Saturday at 7pm and Sunday at 6 pm. No morning services. I love this church and aside from when I lived in Alaska for a year, have gone to it since I was 10 years old. It's non-denominational so I can't even find one with the same teachings and doctrine in this area (closest one that's similar is 2 hours away). DS usually behaves pretty well, takes a nap etc. But it pushes his bedtime back so much. We don't get home until 9:30 or 10. He often gets upset on the way home or falls asleep on the way home. At any rate, he doesn't sleep the best that night and then seems off for a day or two.

So far, I don't go every week. I, just don't know what to do. My faith is important to me, and I want Teddy to go. It's not just a problem now. This would probably be his bed time for years. I've talked to others and out of the hundreds of people in the 50 years the church has been around, it's never been a problem for anyone else. Their kid adjusts much better than mine, apparently.

I could try to be really creative and I know they would be accommodating. There are spare rooms upstairs that I could put him to sleep in and hook a monitor up to and then sit in an upstairs lobby and listen. I could alternate with my mom and she could stay home with him while I go one week (DH usually works).

I don't have a problem with only going once a month, but even that messes him up and I feel bad about it.

I guess, my reason for posting is: When you have a schedule conflict like this, what do you do? As it is now, my whole world also revolves around being home so DS can nap when needed. So, this example is just one of many that I could write about.

Rebekah1021 · May 2011

Let me start with a disclaimer - I am not a schedule person. I don't plan activities around nap or bedtime.

Is it possible for you take him to church in his jammies and bring his blankie? I think one day off his routine will be okay. Do you lay low the next day for him to make it up? If you keep going, then he will become adaptable and it becomes part of routine.

Andrewsgal · May 2011

My kids are great sleepers and used to bedtime, that being said we have always and will always go to church on Wednesday nights and get home much after bedtime. Sure Thursdays are rough, but it is what it is. I will not let a 2 and 4 year old or baby for that matter dictate my schedule, church in important in our family and we will go.

Mrs.Hizzo · May 2011

How long is the service? Couldn't you be home by 7:30 or so if you went on Sunday?

I don't mess with my kids' bedtimes if I can help it. It's a bad scene even now, although I have a lot more lee-way than I did when they were babies. If I were in your shoes, I'd probably try to get a sitter as often as possible for those nights, and just skip the others.

Rebekah1021 · May 2011

Andrewsgal:
My kids are great sleepers and used to bedtime, that being said we have always and will always go to church on Wednesday nights and get home much after bedtime. Sure Thursdays are rough, but it is what it is. I will not let a 2 and 4 year old or baby for that matter dictate my schedule, church in important in our family and we will go.

I always make them go around my schedule too

austenreader85 · May 2011

Mrs.Hizzo:
How long is the service? Couldn't you be home by 7:30 or so if you went on Sunday?
I don't mess with my kids' bedtimes if I can help it. It's a bad scene even now, although I have a lot more lee-way than I did when they were babies. If I were in your shoes, I'd probably try to get a sitter as often as possible for those nights, and just skip the others.

Service is actually pretty long, and the church is 30 minutes away. Service is usually 2-2.5 hours. Though, I could leave right after the sermon if I needed. That means I'd be getting home around 8:30 instead of 10.

No one else but DH and I have put him to sleep, so I'd have to try that out a few times before going for it. But that's the same thing as if we'd ever want to do anything after 7 pm, any other night for any other thing. I guess the big thing with church is that I'd like him to be there, even if he has to sleep for part of it.

If he falls asleep in the car, he usually wakes up when we take him out of the car seat. Maybe we should try making sure he's in a really good deep sleep first.

MrsBalletStar05 · May 2011

Ugh, this is exactly why I gave up evening services at my church! I had been going on Tuesday nights for a bible study, but it didn't start until 7 and typically got out at 8 or later and DS#1 would be UPSET!! So I just stopped going :-( Now we just go Sunday mornings. Also, it sucked because I sometimes had to take the boys with me to dance class and that got out very late as well. We are out for the summer, but starting in August I should only have to take them once a month and we'll be there until 8:30. It sucks, but I'm going to suck it up because it's work and it pays.

ETA - also, on the evenings we must be out I make sure to do dinner and bath before we go and then I don't necessarily dress them in pj's, but usually *comfy* clothes like sweat pants or athletic shorts and t-shirts. That way I can just put them to bed as soon as we get home. Oh, and I make sure to bring food or snacks. Once they start whining or something, that seems to give them an extra energy boost to get through the last 30 minutes or so.

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