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Parenting after 35
campbaby76
member
Intro and question
campbaby76
member
Hi ladies! I am 35 in a week, just had my first baby early April. He is super amazing. I have been married since thanksgiving. I will start back to work as a camp director hear in a couple of weeks.
I figured that you all might have a different perspective because you are more my age. I have an autoimmune disease that went into remission with pregnancy. It was awesome! No pain for 8 months! But I ended up having an emergency c section and come to find out that I tested positive for massive perivillious fibrin. My placenta was pretty much wasted and the pathology report read that we were lucky that the baby lived. Because I was already considered high risk we were doing u/s weey from 28 weeks on. The wednesday before I delivered on Monday the placenta looked great. It went downhill quickly and the only reason I went to l&d was because something felt not right.
The pathology report said that it was likely to reaccur in future pregnancies and could result in substantial fetal morbidity and mortality. My ob said that if I were to get pregnant again she would do 2 u/s per week and we would plan on a csection early.
My question to you ladies is would you even consider having a 2nd child? I know that we have time but I feel like I need to think about this because getting older just adds more risk. Sorry this is so long and the format stinks since I am on my phone. Tia
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Intro and question
First off, congrats and welcome!! Sounds like you really do have a miracle baby.
Now for the rest of it... almost all of us on here are newer parents well into our late 30s and early 40s. I had my first at 42 and haven't given up the hope of a second. So don't believe that mindset that your fertility drops like a rock at 35. The power of positive thinking!
But as for the medical stuff, I think you have to decide if you're strong enough to handle the worst case scenarios. Twice a week U/S would be a PITA, but a necessary evil in your case. And if you're getting twice a week checkups, they should really be on top of things, right?
I guess I'm a glass half full gal when it comes to babies. I was given a 1:5 chance of Downs and our boy is perfectly healthy. I also believe in the power of prayer, but that's really a personal thing.
Welcome and congrats on your baby!
I have an auto-immune disease that went into remission during pregnancy too, and have since had a nasty relapse. I'm still not letting that stop me from considering a second baby despite being 37.
About the placenta issues; I wouldn't let that stop me but I would follow the doc's advice to the letter. Daily u/s's if need be and a c/s as soon as the baby's at term.
Good luck with your decision and welcome again
My Blog
So they say, every pregnancy is different. I was high-risk, was on bed rest at the end, due to several issues. They were worried about my previous medical history with low platelet counts.... that issue was non-existent during pregnancy.
I'm so happy to have a one year old at 39.... I've always wanted more than one, but I am definitely just happy enjoying this little boy right now and I'm not in any place to think about #2 yet. I have to lose weight first.... but I am a little scared.
I agree with others - its way too early for you to think about #2. Enjoy your little one, let your body heal, exercise and stay/be healthy. Then, later, do more research on your issue. Ultimately, you have to decide what's right for you. You do have to be aware of the risks.... but if you want to TTC #2 then you'll just have to jump right in and be prepared for all the medical check-ups and anything else they want you to do. Think ahead and plan ahead... (Will you have help taking care of #1 if you're on bedrest?)
Welcome and congrats!
Agree with PP's Re: your question.
Congratulations!
I agree with the posters who said you have time to make this decision. Adjust to your new life and let your body readjust, too. Then, talk to your doctor and see what they say. If they think that you are likely to be able to carry a baby mostly through the pregnancy, great! If not, you have some thinking to do. There are more ways to have a child other than carrying a pregnancy to term and giving birth (i.e., surrogacy, adoption), and although they aren't for everyone, there's nothing saying you can't have another child just because your pregnancy risk is high, and there's no need to rush.
Take time to enjoy your new baby, figure out how this life works, and after you feel comfortable with your new normal, start thinking about what the future might hold for your family. The possibilities may be more than you've considered to date.