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TTC After a Loss
Really... CD1..... Thx (my pissy, sad vent)
Sorry ahead of time - probably will be a long vent, pissed, sad, pity party. May also be a post and run for the day as I'm just not sure I'm up to bumping today and sorry for not being around for support today.
So what is today - CD1. Thanks world. Thanks temps for giving me what looked like an implantation dip and great temps up until I saw AF today. Thanks FF for the intercourse timing reading saying = High. Thanks FF for telling me of early pg. signs I was 81 points and got my hopes up. Thanks stupid body for acting like I could be pg with signs (oh yes, frequent peeing last 2 days, so tired/yawing all day past 3 days, heartburn,..). Thanks self for letting yourself get your hopes up again. OH and thinking I had a sign last night -- Our buddies are called the Rainbow Girls - waiting for our rainbow. I have been praying and hoping for a positive sign that this would be our month. Well low and behold after being towards 80 degrees the last week, it rains here AND I see about 3-4 rainbows last evening. Me thinking - holy cow that's my sign, rainbows! = me getting hopes up. Yep, no sign, just rain, right air and cold = rainbow of science. So to my body, FF, world, temps, you can all suck it today.
Sorry for being so mad, angry and sad ( I cried alot this morning and had to force myself out of bed) - it's my own fault for thinking my chart looked good and got my hopes up. I told myself weeks ago, if this month wasn't it, it's ok, next month - well that school of thought just isn't working today for me. I'm just so sad. I'm sure I'll get over it at some point, but not sure I will today or tomorrow.
OH and to just add insult, I emailed the bump gods the other week asking for name change, (due to not knowing I would have a m/c when I signed up for the knot) and got a response from 'thebump' asking for another option for name as the one I chose was already taken. I sent a few with a thanks. I get an email from 'theknot' Saturday saying, sorry once you pick a name on the knot, you can't change. I proceed to email both back restating my story a bit pissed. So we'll see what they say. BUG!!
I heart you ladies and will see you soon. Hope you have had a good Monday.
Here are a couple drinks
for reading my pissy, pity party vent. Thx.
So what is today - CD1. Thanks world. Thanks temps for giving me what looked like an implantation dip and great temps up until I saw AF today. Thanks FF for the intercourse timing reading saying = High. Thanks FF for telling me of early pg. signs I was 81 points and got my hopes up. Thanks stupid body for acting like I could be pg with signs (oh yes, frequent peeing last 2 days, so tired/yawing all day past 3 days, heartburn,..). Thanks self for letting yourself get your hopes up again. OH and thinking I had a sign last night -- Our buddies are called the Rainbow Girls - waiting for our rainbow. I have been praying and hoping for a positive sign that this would be our month. Well low and behold after being towards 80 degrees the last week, it rains here AND I see about 3-4 rainbows last evening. Me thinking - holy cow that's my sign, rainbows! = me getting hopes up. Yep, no sign, just rain, right air and cold = rainbow of science. So to my body, FF, world, temps, you can all suck it today.
Sorry for being so mad, angry and sad ( I cried alot this morning and had to force myself out of bed) - it's my own fault for thinking my chart looked good and got my hopes up. I told myself weeks ago, if this month wasn't it, it's ok, next month - well that school of thought just isn't working today for me. I'm just so sad. I'm sure I'll get over it at some point, but not sure I will today or tomorrow.
OH and to just add insult, I emailed the bump gods the other week asking for name change, (due to not knowing I would have a m/c when I signed up for the knot) and got a response from 'thebump' asking for another option for name as the one I chose was already taken. I sent a few with a thanks. I get an email from 'theknot' Saturday saying, sorry once you pick a name on the knot, you can't change. I proceed to email both back restating my story a bit pissed. So we'll see what they say. BUG!!
I heart you ladies and will see you soon. Hope you have had a good Monday.
Here are a couple drinks
for reading my pissy, pity party vent. Thx.
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Re: Really... CD1..... Thx (my pissy, sad vent)
BFP#1 2/4/11 m/c 3/4/11
?BFP#2 6/3/11 EDD 2/14/11?
It's okay to feel defeated and hopeless right now...I felt that way after a week of BFNs, too. It sucks.
Hoping this is the last CD1 for a long, long, long time!!
Justin + Laura 10.18.08
TTC #1 09.10/Dx PCOS 12.10/BFP #1 12.29.10/EDD 9.10.11/Missed m/c 2.3.11/D&C 2.15.11
“Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.”-Kahlil Gibran
Cycle #1 4.2.11 + Clomid = BFN/Cycle #2 5.9.11 + Clomid + Trigger Shot = TWINS!
Walter Allen and Eleanor Joan 1.15.12
Another baby on the way! 8.25.14
M/C July 2009.
BFP #2 6/1/11(1st cycle on Clomid)
Norah Lynn was born on 2/3/2012
TTC again January 2014
TTC since March 2010, BFP #1 11.09.10, ectopic, m/c 12.14.10 (10w)
Clomid + TI=BFN, IUIs 1-6= BFN
Application for domestic adoption submitted 4/18/12, matched 8/12/12, DD born 10/31/12
BFP-2/4/10 EDD-9/27/10 M/C-2/11/10 7w3d D&C and Methotrexate-2/19/10
BFP-11/21/10 M/C-11/25/10
Clomid Cycle #1-BFN
Clomid Cycle #2-BFP-1/18/2011 M/C-1/26/2011
BFP-5/18/11 Riley arrived 2/3/12 8lbs6oz 21.5in
(((hugs))) I'm sorry you're having a crappy day. I hope tomorrow is better for you.
BFP#1: 3/9/11 Natural m/c: 3/21/11
BFP#2: 7/21/11 DS born 3/23/12
BFP#3: 9/14/14 EDD 5/22/15
((Hugs)) There is nothing worse than CD1 when you are hoping for that BFP...
I was super angry/pissy this CD1 too. Each one is getting more and more difficult for me.
I have my FX that this is your last CD1 for a loooonngg time!
DD born 1/5/09.BFP-1/6/11 MC at 6 weeks
I am so sorry! I hate FF and stupid signs from the world that end up meaning nothing!!!!!!!!!!
By the way- the Knot- they're liers... I signed up for the Knot under a different name and they changed mine. I just told them my old name was part of my e-mail address and I wanted it changed for reasons of staying somewhat annonymous (sp ?). I gave them two different options and they changed it within a few days. Stay persistent!!
? BFP#1 EDD 3/15/2011 cp 7/14/2010 ? ~ ? BFP#2 EDD 6/26/2011 d&c 12/9/2010 ?
? BFP#3 EDD 2/7/2012 ? BFP Chart
Thanks! I will add that in too and same here with email. I know others have had it changed. It was like bump was going to do it and knot said no. ?? Not giving up.
***Siggy Warning***
I'm so, so sorry sweetie. I was so hopeful for you this cycle. I wish there was something I could do to help you feel better. Please take care of yourself and pamper yourself tonight. ((Big HUGS)) Let me know if you need to chat.
BFP#1 - 9/2/10, EDD 5/14/11, Twins Hannah and Liam lost 11/7/10 @ 13w1d.
BFP #2 - 2/9/11, EDD 10/13/11, LO lost 2/13/11 @ 5w4d
BFP #3 - 5/9/11, DS born 1/13/12
~*~My BFP Chart~*~Our Story~*~
~*~Labor Buddies with Sweet Turnip - Welcome Baby Girl 2/23/12 & Aluenna - Welcome Ivy 1/6/12~*~
I'm so sorry buddy. I was routing for you!
I would have felt the same way if I saw rainbows - I'm always looking for signs.
It is ok to feel mad and angry. TTC is a difficult process. Huge hugs!!!!!!
Now go and enjoy a few drinks tonight!