TTC After a Loss

Really... CD1..... Thx (my pissy, sad vent)

Sorry ahead of time - probably will be a long vent, pissed, sad, pity party.  May also be a post and run for the day as I'm just not sure I'm up to bumping today and sorry for not being around for support today.  

So what is today - CD1. Thanks world.  Thanks temps for giving me what looked like an implantation dip and great temps up until I saw AF today.  Thanks FF for the intercourse timing reading saying = High.  Thanks FF for telling me of early pg. signs I was 81 points and got my hopes up.  Thanks stupid body for acting like I could be pg with signs (oh yes, frequent peeing last 2 days, so tired/yawing all day past 3 days, heartburn,..).   Thanks self for letting yourself get your hopes up again. OH and thinking I had a sign last night -- Our buddies are called the Rainbow Girls - waiting for our rainbow.  I have been praying and hoping for a positive sign that this would be our month.  Well low and behold after being towards 80 degrees the last week, it rains here AND I see about 3-4 rainbows last evening.  Me thinking - holy cow that's my sign, rainbows!  = me getting hopes up.   Yep, no sign, just rain, right air and cold = rainbow of science.   So to my body, FF, world, temps, you can all suck it today.

Sorry for being so mad, angry and sad ( I cried alot this morning and had to force myself out of bed) - it's my own fault for thinking my chart looked good and got my hopes up.  I told myself weeks ago, if this month wasn't it, it's ok, next month - well that school of thought just isn't working today for me.  I'm just so sad.   I'm sure I'll get over it at some point, but not sure I will today or tomorrow.    

OH and to just add insult, I emailed the bump gods the other week asking for name change, (due to not knowing I would have a m/c when I signed up for the knot) and got a response from 'thebump' asking for another option for name as the one I chose was already taken.  I sent a few with a thanks.  I get an email from 'theknot' Saturday saying, sorry once you pick a name on the knot, you can't change.  I proceed to email both back restating my story a bit pissed.  So we'll see what they say.   BUG!!  

I heart you ladies and will see you soon.  Hope you have had a good Monday.  

Here are a couple drinks  DrinksDrinksfor reading my pissy, pity party vent.  Thx.
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Re: Really... CD1..... Thx (my pissy, sad vent)

  • Ugh, I am SOOO SORRY!!!! (((((BIG HUGE HUGS))))))  You're allowed to be pissed at the world and everything in it.  That just sucks.  I really hope the bump gods let you change your name, but I really really really hope next month is it for you. Sad
    image
    BFP#1 2/4/11 m/c 3/4/11
    ?BFP#2 6/3/11 EDD 2/14/11?

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  • It's okay to feel defeated and hopeless right now...I felt that way after a week of BFNs, too.  It sucks.

    Hoping this is the last CD1 for a long, long, long time!!  


    image Image and video hosting by TinyPic image

    Justin + Laura 10.18.08
    TTC #1 09.10/Dx PCOS 12.10/BFP #1 12.29.10/EDD 9.10.11/Missed m/c 2.3.11/D&C 2.15.11
    “Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.”-Kahlil Gibran
    Cycle #1 4.2.11 + Clomid = BFN/Cycle #2 5.9.11 + Clomid + Trigger Shot = TWINS! 
    Walter Allen and Eleanor Joan 1.15.12
    Another baby on the way! 8.25.14


  • Oh hon I am so sorry - your chart was completely deceptive this month. *HUGE HUGS* I hope you can spoil yourself with something, and a few of image
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  • So sorry about CD1.  I believe the universe owes you at least 1-2 days of an absolute pity party so no apologies needed.  I hope your week starts to get better and you can find some hopeful moments for next cycle.  ((GIANT HUGS))
    TTC in May 2009.
    M/C July 2009.
    BFP #2 6/1/11(1st cycle on Clomid)
    Norah Lynn was born on 2/3/2012
    TTC again January 2014



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  • I'm sorry, hun.  CD1 sucks!  Let it all out here!  ((hugs)) 

    TTC since March 2010, BFP #1 11.09.10, ectopic, m/c 12.14.10 (10w)
    Clomid + TI=BFN, IUIs 1-6= BFN
    Application for domestic adoption submitted 4/18/12, matched 8/12/12, DD born 10/31/12


     

  • :::HUGS:::
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    BFP-2/4/10 EDD-9/27/10 M/C-2/11/10 7w3d D&C and Methotrexate-2/19/10
    BFP-11/21/10 M/C-11/25/10
    Clomid Cycle #1-BFN
    Clomid Cycle #2-BFP-1/18/2011 M/C-1/26/2011
    BFP-5/18/11 Riley arrived 2/3/12 8lbs6oz 21.5in
  • Missa_gMissa_g member
    *huge hug*I'm so sorry. I hope your day gets better! I also hope this is the last AF you see for a looooooong time!
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
    Married 9/22/07, began TTC 8/10
    Diagnosed with DOR, LP defect, mild endometriosis and cysts
    BFP #1 EDD 9/10/11, natural miscarriage at 6w
    BFP #2 Medicated cycle, twin boys born 4/4/12 at 29w4d
    BFP #3 EDD 8/8/14, D&C for missed miscarriage at 8w, baby boy with triploidy
    BFP #4 June 2014 CP
  • JT325JT325 member

    (((hugs))) I'm sorry you're having a crappy day.  I hope tomorrow is better for you.

    BFP#1: 3/9/11 Natural m/c: 3/21/11
    BFP#2: 7/21/11 DS born 3/23/12

    BFP#3: 9/14/14 EDD 5/22/15

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  • ((Hugs))  There is nothing worse than CD1 when you are hoping for that BFP...

    I was super angry/pissy this CD1 too.  Each one is getting more and more difficult for me. 

    I have my FX that this is your last CD1 for a loooonngg time!

    2 years 005 copy
    image
    DD born 1/5/09.BFP-1/6/11 MC at 6 weeks
  • That just sucks...I can totally relate though. Yesterday was CD 1 for me and I had the same thoughts throughout my cycle. I hope it's the last CD1 for a long, long, long time.
    DS#1 born 1/31/06 DS#2 born 3/7/08 DS#3 born sleeping at 17w 3d due to umbilical cord accident BFP#4 6/18/11 EDD 2/19/12 Lilypie Maternity tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • I am so sorry!  I hate FF and stupid signs from the world that end up meaning nothing!!!!!!!!!!

    By the way- the Knot- they're liers... I signed up for the Knot under a different name and they changed mine.  I just told them my old name was part of my e-mail address and I wanted it changed for reasons of staying somewhat annonymous (sp ?).  I gave them two different options and they changed it within a few days.  Stay persistent!!


    image image imageimageimage  

    CFNBC after 8 losses and IF || History || My Angel Babies

  • I am so sorry :( It just isn't fair :( Big big squishy (((HUGS)))
    imageimage
    ? BFP#1 EDD 3/15/2011 cp 7/14/2010 ? ~ ? BFP#2 EDD 6/26/2011 d&c 12/9/2010 ?
    ? BFP#3 EDD 2/7/2012 ? BFP Chart
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • HUGS honey <3 I'm so sorry you're having such a rough day. Take care hun
  • Thank you so much ladies.   Sending ((hugs)) back.. they were very helpful.   I so appreciate you all.
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  • imagebuckeyebaby814:

    I am so sorry!  I hate FF and stupid signs from the world that end up meaning nothing!!!!!!!!!!

    By the way- the Knot- they're liers... I signed up for the Knot under a different name and they changed mine.  I just told them my old name was part of my e-mail address and I wanted it changed for reasons of staying somewhat annonymous (sp ?).  I gave them two different options and they changed it within a few days.  Stay persistent!!

    Thanks!  I will add that in too and same here with email.  I know others have had it changed.  It was like bump was going to do it and knot said no.  ??  Not giving up.  :)

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  • ***Siggy Warning***

     

    I'm so, so sorry sweetie.  I was so hopeful for you this cycle.  I wish there was something I could do to help you feel better.  Please take care of yourself and pamper yourself tonight.  ((Big HUGS))  Let me know if you need to chat.  

    TTC #1 since 8/09
    BFP#1 - 9/2/10, EDD 5/14/11, Twins Hannah and Liam lost 11/7/10 @ 13w1d.
    BFP #2 - 2/9/11, EDD 10/13/11, LO lost 2/13/11 @ 5w4d
    BFP #3 - 5/9/11, DS born 1/13/12

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
    ~*~My BFP Chart~*~Our Story~*~
    ~*~Labor Buddies with Sweet Turnip - Welcome Baby Girl 2/23/12 & Aluenna - Welcome Ivy 1/6/12~*~
  • I'm so sorry buddy. I was routing for you!

    I would have felt the same way if I saw rainbows - I'm always looking for signs.

    It is ok to feel mad and angry. TTC is a difficult process. Huge hugs!!!!!!

    Now go and enjoy a few drinks tonight!

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