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Natural Birth
Life&Gwen
member
Just have to vent about this to someone who gets it...
Life&Gwen
member
My cousin in law just gave birth over the weekend. She didn't want to plan 100% natural or otherwise, because like every birth, you don't know exactly what to expect, but she wanted to give it her best to go natural. Well, she was in a lot of pain, but it was exacerbated by the constant presence of her mother in law, who is very, very high strung, manic, and just not a good presence for trying as natural a birth as you can manage. I should throw in that she doesn't speak English as her first language, and has only studied it for a year now, and certainly doesn't understand medical terms. This, however, doesn't mean that just because her husband speaks her language that he knows enough conversational fluency to interpret medical terminology to her.
My biggest aggravation with this is that she was pushed into an epidural, she thought it was another shot, like a vaccination, that was "good for the baby" and then started crying and thought she was paralyzed because she didn't understand that it would numb her waist and legs and feet. So... she basically got pushed into phenegren, demerol and then an epidural. It was such a med happy birth environment that she was 10cm and 100% effaced for two and a half hours before he was born, vaginally, but only so because there was some confusion about how to get a doctor there at that hour of the night for an emergency c section. I'm glad she didn't have that since it's only her first baby, but he spent an extra 2 hours in there after hard labor for 18 hours, and the added distress caused led to meconium inhalation and other issues. He's in the NICU for a week at least. Have you ever heard of a birth like this? I should throw in that the mother in law got her to the hospital two hours after she was called, because she was "getting dressed and packed for the long haul" and she didn't leave the entire time until the nurses threw her out for "causing tension and endangering the baby's health"
I've just never heard of such trauma in the birth process. And now the MIL is sobbing, crying and generally carrying on, even in front of the mother, because "this isn't how it's supposed to have happened" and she's "never heard of perfect pregnancies going so wrong at the last minute" and I just sit there thinking "... must bite tongue.... must bite tongue ..."
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Just have to vent about this to someone who gets it...
Why didn't her husband adequately interpret/explain to her what the doctors were telling him?
My SIL (married to my BIL) speaks Portuguese and very little English. I too was surprised that she had the epidural and wondered if she even knew what it was they were giving her. However, she happily told me that she was in such pain she couldn't take it anymore and the epidural was the best thing they gave her. So, I guess everyone's experience is different.
That's too bad. In fact, that story reminds me of our friends, who are Arab. The husband was raised here and speaks fluent English but his wife moved here from Iraq just a couple years ago and does not speak fluent English.
Well, she gave birth in March but it was a c-section. Obviously, she probably didn't fully understand the situation and he just told them to do whatever to get the baby out safely. Of course, that's a rational request but I just found it strange that they didn't seem to even grasp the full details of the situation before making that choice.
Matthew Kevin
7/31/83-7/20/11
Met 1/8/00
Engaged 4/21/06
Married 9/29/07
Two beautiful legacies: Noah Matthew (2 yrs) and Chloe Marcella (8 mos)
Day Three
While it sounds like the MIL should never, ever have been permitted to attend the birth, and it is a shame that the mother was allegedly pushed into inteventions she didn't want, being dilated to 10cm for 2.5 hours before being born is not that uncommon for a first child. I pushed for 2 hours the first time, pushing for 2, 3 even 4 hours is not unheard of.
The other complications that arose...well they could happen to anyone under any circumstances. And 18 hours of labour is again not that uncommon.
I have to wonder, where the hell was this woman's husband during all of this? Did they not discuss the possibilities in advance? Ugh.