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February 2011 Moms
RANT: In-Laws (Sorry but it's long)
I just need to vent... I am so sick and tired of my in-laws.
I know that they are so excited about DS and she is the first grand baby but it is getting a little out of hand. First off my MIL thinks she knows so much about my baby and feels the need to tell me what to do... Down to letting me know LO is hungry. She always thinks she's cold and tries to tell me what I can and can't eat because I'm breast feeding. the other night we went over for dinner and I was nursing LO in a room away from everyone and LO was fussy afterward due to gas so I was trying to settle her down and she was almost asleep and she sent DH in to get LO from me because she could get her settle her down and she wanted her!!! What the hell?!?! When we go over there I feel like I am no longer the mom and she always says while holding LO "Gramma has the special touch huh" in her baby voice. One last thing... Almost every time I see her she tells me how much she worries about LO when she's not at their house. One day she told me "I was about to come over late last night because I just had a feeling that you needed my help." Nope, no help or advice needed here. I want to scream.
Then my FIL is just way too much to handle. He wants to hold LO the whole time we're there and "un-intentionally" wakes her up when she's asleep. He is so over stimulating that it makes LO so fussy when we get home. Honestly I would cry too if someone was constantly in my face. He even hovers over our shoulder when changing her diaper.
They invite us over for dinner almost every other night and breakfast everyday of the weekend because they miss LO so much. On the other nights they make excuses to show up at our house. I want to spend time as a new little family and I don't want to share my baby with them.
WWYD? I have tried to nicely talk to DH about it but he is so close with his family that he is ok with it and his mom b!tches to me about everything and never says anything to him so he is completely clueless about what I am talking about. HELP!!!!!!! TIA!! 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: RANT: In-Laws (Sorry but it's long)
Yikes, I got fussy just reading about your IL's... Sorry to hear it! I really can't stand it either when people wake up LO to "play" with her. Are you kidding me?!
They may respect your desires to spend time as a new family... Maybe try bringing that up to them.
This exactly. My inlaws are a pretty dreadful lot but I find what's most frustrating is that my husband can be so passive with them because he doesn't want to deal with them either. Grrr.
When FIL was tickling DD's toes while she was sleeping yesterday I said in a somewhat joking but very real listen to me tone: "Looks like somebody wants to hold her when she wakes up crying."
I think you should just be honest with them. No need to sit them down and talk, but just make it very clear when they are doing something you don't like. If I was changing DD's diaper and someone was hovering I would not feel the least bit guilty saying: "Oh good, (insert person) wants to change your diaper." Hand person diaper, saying "You can take over from here." And then walk away.
Ignore MIL's condescending words. You will not win there.
Instead of waiting for them to invite you over all the time, say "This week we will be available on day and day." You may even want to add: "We need to spend the rest of the time playing with our baby." If MIL questions this then I would stop ignoring and stop being nice, but still in a nice tone, saying things like: "I need to develop my own special touch, but I can't do that with so much help from you."