Success after IF

Toddlers and Improving Attention Spans

I would love some suggestions because my 2yo is wearing me down. It really hit me when we were hanging out this weekend and went through (and this is not an exaggeration), 6 different activities / toys in the span of an hour. He is starting to show a lot more interest in toys and pretend play, but he has the attention span of a gnat. I know that this is somewhat normal for a 2yo, but my friend's daughter sees an occupational therapist who feels like it's really important that toddlers this age can maintain an activity for at least 30mins.

We've had a lot of dr's appointments lately for my LO b/w colds and flu and then my ob appointments for DS #2. I see other toddlers occupied with crayons or trucks or books for 10 or 15 minutes, but not my DS. He LOVES trains, but he will pick one up, push it around the track once or twice then onto the next. I really worry about keeping him busy once the new baby comes and I have to focus my attention for longer periods of time on something besides him! Any ideas are hugely appreciated!!!

Re: Toddlers and Improving Attention Spans

  • 30 minutes?  That seems REALLY long, how old is your friend's DD?

    My kids will color, etc but they definitely still require interaction/ideas/suggestions. DD is getting better about playing on her own, but DS I'm always handing crayons to, asking about his pictures, etc.

    I will say reading definitely keeps their attention the longest. And music/dancing.

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  • I think the answer is exactly what you just said.  He needs to learn how to entertain himself and not be constantly entertained/stimulated by you.  Let him go on his own for a little while.  He might pull out a bunch of toys before finding one that he's really interested in but that's ok. 

    Also, I let him play with pretty much whatever he wants.  He is currently playing with a bag of clothespins.  He has a whole basement full of toys but is usually more interested in random stuff around the house.

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  • 30 minutes is a REALLY long time to stay focused on 1 activity.  I'm *thrilled* if my LO keeps himself busy for 10 minutes.  I honestly think so many issues like this are down to the personality of the individual child and while you can try to step back more, you can't force a very interactive kid with a short attention span to play well on their own.  I'm sure your LO will grow into more independent and more focused play over time.
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  • imagereadyin07:

     I know that this is somewhat normal for a 2yo, but my friend's daughter sees an occupational therapist who feels like it's really important that toddlers this age can maintain an activity for at least 30mins.

    I know it's a professional that's telling your friend this and lord knows I'm not a professional but neither of my kids had 30 minutes in them at that age.

    Well.... maybe Dylan if I was reading to him but still....  that sounds like a LONG time for a 2 yr old.

     

    But.... if you're looking for things to help once the new baby comes I've got some things you can start doing now that might help.

    Mine are 17 months apart and here's what worked for me.

    1.  The older one used to play with quiet toys while I nursed and put the baby down for naps in his room.  Start now thinking of boxes or buckets of quiet toys you could put together and have him go into the nursery with you and play while you sit in a chair and minimize your interaction.  Some things that worked well for us were boxes of tupperware and boxes of shoes.  Sounds crazy but shoes went a long way for us.

    2.  Practice now sitting on the sofa and not getting up.  Practice asking him to join you to read a book.  Get out the magna doodle and ask him if you can draw pictures for him.  Use the magna doodle to go thru his letters and talk about letter sounds.  Sing songs together.  You get the picture.

    3.  Figure out if there's a way to rope off (using safety gates and the like) a section of the main room where you expect to spend most of your time so you can let him wander a bit but he won't be leaving your line of vision.

     

    Once the baby's here: 

    1.  Nurse while sitting in the floor so you can reach and play things like trains while nursing.

    2.  Nurse while walking/etc.  We played soccer in the living room while nursing on more than one occasion.   Nursing the 2nd isn't anywhere near as relaxing as nursing the first but it does give you an odd appreciation for the middle of the night feedings where it's just you and the baby and the rest of the house is quiet.

    3.  Get the book "Parenting the Strong Willed Child".  Not because he's strong willed but because the book goes over the one tool that went the farthest for us in helping the toddler feel tuned into while busy dealing with a baby.  It's called "narrative play".  You basically speak and narrate every thing he's doing. No questions, no interacting, just narrating like you're a sports caster calling a football game.  

    It sounds silly (and feels even weirder) but as long as I was narrating what Dylan was doing he felt like I was tuned into him and didn't notice that I wasn't physically playing with him as much.  Went a LONG way at minimizing tantrums and easing him into having less attention.

     

    And above all else.... don't stress.  Don't force him to grow up faster just because you've got a baby on the way.

    I totally understand your concerns but I promise you that you WILL figure all of this out once the baby's here.

    You're all gonna do fine and find a groove that works for you. 

    Our IF journey: 1 m/c, 1 IVF with only 3 eggs retrieved yielding Dylan and a lost twin, 1 shocker unmedicated BFP resulting in Jace, 3 more unmedicated pregnancies ending in more losses.
    Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
  • 30 minutes?  At age TWO?

    HHHHHHAAAAAHHHAAAHHAAAA HHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    and

    HAHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    Where do people come up with this shiit, seriously?

    Hmm 

    Wheee!
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    "When it comes to sleeping, whatever your baby does is normal. If one thing has damaged parents enjoyment of their babies, it's rigid expectations about how and when the baby should sleep." ~ James McKenna, Ph.D., Mother Baby Behavioral Sleep Center, University of Notre Dame

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  • LIAngelLIAngel member
    imageLucyPevensie:

    30 minutes?  At age TWO?

    HHHHHHAAAAAHHHAAAHHAAAA HHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    and

    HAHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    Where do people come up with this shiit, seriously?

    Hmm 

    OMG I literally LOL'ed at this.   In fact I'm still LOLing this.   It will be interesting to see what DD is like at age 2.   You know see if she has a better attn span at age 2 since she is a girl.

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