Hi Ladies,
At the 9w4d ultrasound (our first visit) the technician and doctor found the baby, right size and all, but she had no heartbeat. We are heartbroken, since this was our first pregnancy and we were so happy about it.. Now, we are painfully awaiting the d&c this thursday. I am so new to this that I want to ask you for some advice- there is no sign of my body letting the little one go, so is there a possibility/ should we ask for nother u/s (to avoid the 'what if...'). Second, i am Rh- and my husband is Rh+, so should we do some blood tests prior to going for the procedure? Thirdly, I am so scared to have this procedure (not the medicine part of this, i know this is a simple procedure) but emotionally.... what helped you get through this?
Also, as any parents who lost the baby (even the little blob like purs was) we are worried for the future. Should we get genetic consueling done or any tests (if so, which ones?) before we try to get pregnant again?
Thank you.
Re: I am going to have a d&C this thursday (lots of questions)
Sorry for your loss, it is a tough thing to go through but you will get through it. You should automatically be given the Rhogam shot due to your Rh status. I am also negative and I was given the shot during my miscarriage. During pregnancy, it is also given at 28 weeks and again after delivery. I hope this helps, and again sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I didn't have a D&C, so I don't have any advice for you on what to expect. If it would put your mind at ease, you should ask for another u/s before the procedure. They may decline or try to talk you out of it, but it's your body, so go ahead and ask for what you need.
As for the genetic testing, once again, that's up to you. Standard procedure for most doctors is not to do any testing until after the 2nd or 3rd miscarriage. I know that sounds cruel to make you wait until you've suffered again, but the great majority of early losses are due to nothing more than random chromosomal defects. If your doctor doesn't think testing is needed or warranted, and that's not good enough for you, you can always seek out a genetic counselor on your own.
You'll be in my thoughts this week.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. If you feel like you need an other ultrasound, call you doctor and explain that. They should understand how hard this is and be willing to help you.
I had a D&C with my first MC and I was scared too. In the days leading up to it, I tried to stay busy with people who knew what I was going through so if I cried I wouldn't have to explain it. And for me, once the surgery was over I could start moving forward again. Before I went in I got a ton of books from the library and movies for the recovery time. Planning outtings beforehand and stocking on up books and supplies helped distract me and made me feel productive. I hope this helps.
We were 9w 4d at our first appt when we found out our baby's heart wasn't beating, also. We opted to wait it out, which I wouldn't do again. I just started bleeding after 3 1/2 long weeks of waiting and 2 rounds of Cytotec. I understand being scared about the D&C. I know it doesn't help to hear it is common, but hopefully you will get some comfort knowing that most women go on to have healthy pregnancies.
Johnscou is right about the Rhogam shot. It has to be given within 72 hours of your miscarriage.
The only genetic testing (pre-pregnancy) I can think of is a blood test for Cystic Fibrosis and Sickel Cell. The test will tell you is if you are a carrier. Don't you have any family history? I understand the desire to "know" what the cause it/was of a m/c. Best of luck to you.
So sorry for your loss. Personally I understand wanting another u/s and would probably have one for peace of mind. They should treat you with Rhogam because of your Rh status. Emotionally it is hard for me to give advice because we had 2 weeks between when I started spotting and when I had my D&C so I had some time to come to grips with what had happened and we mourned our loss. My OB told me that I can't start working towards getting pregnant with a healthy baby while I am still pregnant. That helped me feel ready to move forward with the surgery. So we could prepare to try again. The procedure should go smooth. Good luck and take care.
I am so very sorry for your loss.
I had the procedure done 3 weeks ago (I was 9 weeks also and had no bleeding at all before) and it wasn't really bad at all physically (I have a low pain tolerance too) just emotionally painful. My husband was allowed in the procedure room which really helped a lot. They positioned his chair toward me and away from the doctor. If your DH is open to that too, I would highly recommend it. It helped me get through the actual procedure. He was pretty traumatized because he obviously wasn't medicated but he is so glad that he was there because it brought closure for him too.
They give you lots of pain medicine through an IV so the actual procedure is pretty painless just some very heavy cramping and pressure. Honestly the pain meds made me feel pretty cloudy about the whole procedure experience and I don't even remember them doing an ultrasound at the end. A day or two after was really the worst in terms of cramping so if you can stay home from work I would highly recommend it.
If you would like to message me privately and ask any additional questions I would be more than happy to answer any questions about the experience that I can.
Sorry that you are going through this. This board and TTCAL (even though I am no way close to trying again) have been a huge amount of comfort to me. I hope that they will be for you too.