Criticized for extended BFing...

kciriello · May 2011

My son is almost 15 months old and I?m still breastfeeding him. I am getting a ton of flack from caregivers, in-laws, grandparents, and society in general since I am still breastfeeding him. My son is healthy, eats a wide variety of solid foods, and is an ideal height/weight. He?s happy, alert, focused, and has lots of energy. Do I need to worry?

Today our nanny told me that my breastmilk is no longer very rich, asked when I am going to stop, and told me that I?d start seeing a big difference in his eating if I were to stop breastfeeding (he sometimes doesn?t eat much, especially when he breastfeeds a lot during the day when I?m home on weekends).

Is it true that my breastmilk is no longer rich ? is it basically water at this point and a waste of time other than the closeness it provides me with my son? I?m totally confused.

SteelCityBride · May 2011

First of all... your NANNY made that comment?! Maybe it's just me, but I'd be livid. That's WAYYY overstepping the bounds! Your nursing relationship with your son is none of her damn business!

And on top of the fact that she should have kept her nose out of it, she has incorrect information. From kellymom:

Although there has been little research done on children who breastfeed beyond the age of two, the available information indicates that breastfeeding continues to be a valuable source of nutrition and disease protection for as long as breastfeeding continues.

"Human milk expressed by mothers who have been lactating for >1 year has significantly increased fat and energy contents, compared with milk expressed by women who have been lactating for shorter periods. During prolonged lactation, the fat energy contribution of breast milk to the infant diet might be significant."
-- Mandel 2005

"Breast milk continues to provide substantial amounts of key nutrients well beyond the first year of life, especially protein, fat, and most vitamins."
-- Dewey 2001

In the second year (12-23 months), 448 mL of breastmilk provides:
- 29% of energy requirements
- 43% of protein requirements
- 36% of calcium requirements
- 75% of vitamin A requirements
- 76% of folate requirements
- 94% of vitamin B₁₂ requirements
- 60% of vitamin C requirements
-- Dewey 2001

And that's only a small portion of the information on the benefits of nursing beyond the 1st year. Go here for more info & share with your nanny & your other family & friends who are judging or criticizing. And really, if you & your son still feel good about your nursing relationship, then keep at it. Afterall, yours are the only two opinions on the subject that really matter!

mrolfe89 · May 2011

We still BF at 18 months (usually only twice a day). It's hard when people are trying to tell you what you're doing is wrong, but he's your child and you know what's best for him. There was a great podcast by mothering about extended BFing that really was encouraging to me. Here's the link.

Bride2b2004 · May 2011

Do you pay your nanny for unsolicited advice? I would have to put a chill on that kind of communication. Once or twice I had to do that with my nanny. Everyone has opinions and that kind of inaccurate and unsolicited talk could really put a crimp in your relationship. You are the mom, you decide what is best for your child. If bf is working for you, I would stick with it for now. Not only does he get nutrients, he also gets immunities. I think nursing through the second winter is ideal to allow for immune system help. GL!

Uiowachick01 · May 2011

I got the same thing from everyone except for my LLL/ AP friends. I would just tell people that I plan to nurse till he weans. He ended up loosing interest at around 17.5 months and began to love his soy milk and almond milk. I still get sh!t from family. I am PROUD to say I nursed my son till he was ready to wean. I did what was best for us, and I think you should do the same. Do what you think is BEST FOR YOUR LO.

Harper'smom · May 2011

SteelCityBride:

First of all... your NANNY made that comment?! Maybe it's just me, but I'd be livid. That's WAYYY overstepping the bounds! Your nursing relationship with your son is none of her damn business!

And on top of the fact that she should have kept her nose out of it, she has incorrect information. From kellymom:

Although there has been little research done on children who breastfeed beyond the age of two, the available information indicates that breastfeeding continues to be a valuable source of nutrition and disease protection for as long as breastfeeding continues.

"Human milk expressed by mothers who have been lactating for >1 year has significantly increased fat and energy contents, compared with milk expressed by women who have been lactating for shorter periods. During prolonged lactation, the fat energy contribution of breast milk to the infant diet might be significant."
-- Mandel 2005

"Breast milk continues to provide substantial amounts of key nutrients well beyond the first year of life, especially protein, fat, and most vitamins."
-- Dewey 2001

In the second year (12-23 months), 448 mL of breastmilk provides:
29% of energy requirements

43% of protein requirements

36% of calcium requirements

75% of vitamin A requirements

76% of folate requirements

94% of vitamin B₁₂ requirements

60% of vitamin C requirements
-- Dewey 2001

And that's only a small portion of the information on the benefits of nursing beyond the 1st year. Go here for more info & share with your nanny & your other family & friends who are judging or criticizing. And really, if you & your son still feel good about your nursing relationship, then keep at it. Afterall, yours are the only two opinions on the subject that really matter!

This!

Wow, I'm baffled that your nanny would speak like this..

FWIW I'm "still" nursing DD at 27 mos and eventually the novelty to other friends and family members wore off. At this point they know that their comments are not deterring us and we'll stop when we are ready.

The comments are annoying and you don't need to justify your reasons to anyone else. A simple "we are doing what works for us" plus a change of subject should stop most discussions. Example "We are doing what works for us. How is your garden coming along?". If this doesn't work you can politely say, "I'm not willing to discuss this further" and change the subject again. It puts the awkwardness of the situation of them instead of you and prevents you from needing to rattle off a list of justifications.

ghm · May 2011

First of all... your NANNY made that comment?! Maybe it's just me, but I'd be livid. That's WAYYY overstepping the bounds! Your nursing relationship with your son is none of her damn business!

Definitely this. Breastmilk continues to not only offer health/nutrition benefits, but also an emotional benefit.

Luv2dnce81 · May 2011

kciriello:
My son is almost 15 months old and I?m still breastfeeding him. I am getting a ton of flack from caregivers, in-laws, grandparents, and society in general since I am still breastfeeding him. My son is healthy, eats a wide variety of solid foods, and is an ideal height/weight. He?s happy, alert, focused, and has lots of energy. Do I need to worry?

Today our nanny told me that my breastmilk is no longer very rich, asked when I am going to stop, and told me that I?d start seeing a big difference in his eating if I were to stop breastfeeding (he sometimes doesn?t eat much, especially when he breastfeeds a lot during the day when I?m home on weekends).

Is it true that my breastmilk is no longer rich ? is it basically water at this point and a waste of time other than the closeness it provides me with my son? I?m totally confused.

From everything I've read on BFing the milk changes to meet the needs of the child. So, yes your milk is different from what it was when your son was a newborn, BUT it is perfectly meeting his needs now!

Not only that, but as your son discovers his newfound independence BFing provides as sense of stability, and helps develop a secure attachment!

So, DO NOT listen to the criticism. You are doing a fantastic job, and providing nutritional and psychological benefits to your son!

Married2MrWright · May 2011

My DD will be 16 months on the 25th and still nurses 4-6 times/day. I just found out I am PG with #2 and am feeling pressure to wean...I don't want to...I want to nurse her as long as I possible can (I know sometimes kids will self-wean when mama is PG) but feel I have little to no support. I just looked up the local LLI meeting for my city and am going to try to make it. They only meet once a month, but I hope to at least connect with other moms who breastfed their LOs through pregnancy. Perhaps you can find a group in your area to find support IRL?

Like your LO, my DD eats well and a wide variety of foods (we did BLW, which I think helped her to be an adventurous eater) and just really likes her "mommy milk." She's ahead on every single milestone and very healthy, both of which I feel breastfeeding helped support. I stopped pumping in March and so far, my supply is keeping up with her needs. We shall see if my PG affects this down the road, but so far, so good.

I would definitely draw the boundaries with your nanny. She is your employee after all.

bethCT · May 2011

Hey there, i am just lurking around but I want to tell you that I nursed my daughter until 21 months and we were both devastated when I stopped! I won't go into the reasons why I stopped but my argument to anyone who annoyed me with those comments was that they surely cannot be saying that the milk of another SPECIES could be better for my daughter than my milk! That stopped a lot of comments!

I miss it, I really do and DD asked for it this morning. It was the greatest way to end our day. Also, I hope this doesn't sound snarky because I do NOT mean it that way, but who the hellll are they to tell you how to raise you son! YOU are the mom, YOU get the final say, and they all need to sit down and shut up! My MIL was actually mad that I nursed because it meant SHE didn't get to give DD a bottle. Really, I should stop nursing so YOU can give her a bottle?

LOL yeah, this subject doesn't get to me or anything But really, hang in there, nurse as log as you want and don't let anyone tell you that it is a waste, not nutritious, or anything else!

smitt2619 · May 2011

Like a few others have said, I would be pretty livid if my nanny and others felt it was their place to judge you and "suggest" how you parent. To be honest, I'm not certain on the quality of breastmilk at that age, but I did nurse each of my boys past 12m. DS1 I finally stopped at over 18 months - at maybe 13m I cut the first one, and I think by maybe 15-16m we were down to just bedtime. He was getting whole milk too, and the breastmilk was not his primary source of milk. It was pretty much the same with DS2, but not quite as slow of a weaning process, and stopped completely at 14.5m. I think if both you and your son are content continuing to breastfeed and he is doing well weight-wise, you should continue.

jen5-03 · May 2011

Your nanny is probably seeing that there is not as much fat in your BM as there was. She just doesn't realize that that's ok and he's still getting exactly what he needs. It is not just water.

I still BF my 18mo DS and on days I'm home it's 4-6 times and on days I'm at work it's more like 1-2 times. He drinks cow milk too, eats lots of food, and is a perfectly good size. I don't worry about it at all.

ESTH2000 · May 2011

MandJS:
BFing is still beneficial - there is still fatty hindmilk, it still provides LO with good immunity, etc. It's certainly better for your LO than cows milk or toddler formula. The APA and WHO recommend BFing until at least 2 years old. That's not by accident. So in short, don't second guess your instincts. I still nurse S, and she's also 15 months. I am going to stop pumping in a few months, but I have no intention of weaning completely until S is ready. And FWIW, S eats like a champ.

ditto this and add to that benefits for mama too...like reduced risk of cancer...says the mama of a bfed 27month old Stick out tongue

DaniGirl0517 · May 2011

I am only 3 months in on baby #1 but I just wanted to extend my support for you doing extended bf-ing! I think many moms and babies miss out on this because they have some weird idea they need to stop. My mom thought at 3 months I should stop bf-ing like she did and start "real food" so she clearly has some misconceptions. I don't know any statistics or facts, but I applaud you for going longer and I hope to follow in your footsteps. Only you and your baby can decide how long is too long...unless he's 15, I'm just sayin... Stick out tongue

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