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Husband and Baby connection!

sara1025sara1025 member
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Of course all of us mommies have a certian type of bond w our babies that only a mommy can have.. That I totally understand!

My husband is really bothering me because he keeps saying that our month old baby does not like him.. hes only ONE month old!  My husband thinks that because any time he holds the baby he feels like he starts crying right away which is not true at all!  My husband always says that if I hold him he wont cry or will stop crying right away and just stare up at his momma.. NOT true because during the day he does cry sometimes and gets fussy!  It just really bothers me that my husband gets upset that the baby crys sometimes when he holds him.. hes a BABY thats what they do... they cry!  When he starts crying my husbands first reaction is to just put him down.. thats not gonna fix anything!  My baby does not cry any more for him then he does me..

I know it sounds silly but i feel so connected to the baby and I dont feel like he feels the same way... It hurts my feelings in a way!

My husband always says he cant wait for the baby to get bigger so he can play and the baby can recognize who daddy is.. but me im gonna miss him being a baby and being so small.. my husband wont :(

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Re: Husband and Baby connection!

  • ITGurl0626ITGurl0626 member

    There are times that my DH will go almost the whole day & barely touch our LO.  He says that at this stage all babies do is eat & sleep.  So in his mind he isn't needed much.  He feels once the baby gets bigger & is more interactive, then he can be more involved.  Even though that's the reasoning in my DH's mind, I don't buy it.  So on weekends, I hand LO over to him at her 5am feeding with a bottle & go back to bed.  I don't ask him to take over, I make him take over.  There's no negotiations over here. 

    Since I'm still home on maternity leave I take care of most of the baby duties during the week.  But on weekends when DH is off from work, I literally hand the baby over.

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  • TyrinM03TyrinM03 member

    I'm in the same boat here. My DH swears that DD#3 HATES him. He says all she does is cry when he's around and will not mess with her at all. He makes a bottle and that is the extent. If I go take a shower and she cries, he will let her just cry and when I jump his a** about it he says she can just CIO. Excuse me?? I don't think so!! It makes me so mad!! Sorry that we are dealing with this Sad

    I can only hope that when she starts getting bigger he will take more intrest. Especially since this is baby #3...you figure he would have this figured out by now...

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  • Sharon21Sharon21
    I could have wrote this! I am in the same situation with my husband. He seems to get frustrated when he is holding the baby and she cries. So then I will offer advice (burp her, feed her, etc.) and he gets even more frustrated. It finally made me so mad that he was getting that frustrated that I called him out on it. I told him I understand that he gets frustrated when she cries because he doesn't know what she wants and explained to him that it is okay to not know, he is not with her 24/7 like I am and that he doesn't have the benefit of having the motherly instincts that I do. I also told him that sometimes when she cries I don't know what she wants either and am just winging it trying whatever I can to make her happy (this is not completely true because most of the time I can tell what she wants but not always). Talking to him about it really seemed to help. He has been much less frustrated with her the last couple of days and last night she was being very fussy and he actually wanted to take her and comfort her. I was very impressed because he managed to get her to sleep after I had been trying for an hour. You should try talking to your husband about it just be careful not to hurt his feelings since he is probably already feeling like he is failing. Good luck!
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  • AvieeAviee
    It took H until she started smiling to want to be w DD all the time.  He's beyond happy to hang out with her now. 
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  • campbaby76campbaby76 member
    When I started to give my husband the baby and a bottle things got better. He just really didn't feel like he had much to contribute. Also now that jack is awake more kyle likes to lay him propped up on the boppy and talk to him. For some reason he doesn't undrstand cuddling him and comforting him so I almost always get him back. The other thing that I have to watch is how critical I am. When dh is doing something different than I would I have learned to just bite my tongue. He isn't unsafe he is just finding his way.
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  • ITGurl0626ITGurl0626 member

    imagecampbaby76:
    The other thing that I have to watch is how critical I am. When dh is doing something different than I would I have learned to just bite my tongue. He isn't unsafe he is just finding his way.

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  • BlueEyedMama715BlueEyedMama715 member
    when I started working and leaving DS with DH he had to have more confidence if himself to learn to take care of DS. He has his hard times but overall it has helped him to bond by having that one on one time.
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