Babies: 6 - 9 Months

I'm having a sh!tty day. Tell me a joke.

Bonus bump points and my eternal love if you know what movie that is from.

But seriously, I'd love to hear a joke. Or a funny story about your kid. 

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Re: I'm having a sh!tty day. Tell me a joke.

  • Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
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    TTC #2 since 8/2012
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  • beccs98beccs98 member
    Boondock Saints! I'll work on the joke.
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  • So we had some friends over on Saturday and one of them was holding Noelle so that she was walking on the table.  She had socks on and was sliding all over, and another friend  goes "Hey - looks like she has on kitten mittens".   Maybe you had to be there, but it was funny.


    I'm pretty sure you know what that is from..I hope..else this story sucks.

  • When Joy was squishy, DH was changing her one day and when he lifted her legs to wipe and she aimed and shot him on his chest with shiit, EBF so you know it was liquified.  Homegirl has damn good aim.




    however long the night, dawn will break.

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  • Why are partys on the moon so dull?

    There is no atmosphere :]

    God was gonna make two yogi bears...

    ....but then he made a boo-boo.

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  • Bredins wife: Ummm... I don't know! Why?!?!

    Beccs - I knew I could count on you for a good movie quote. Boondock Saints is one of my all-time favorite movies. "I'll have a Coke then!" 

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  • imageMrsLacy:
    When Joy was squishy, DH was changing her one day and when he lifted her legs to wipe and she aimed and shot him on his chest with shiit, EBF so you know it was liquified.  Homegirl has damn good aim.

    Bahaha! That's awesome! 

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    TTC #2 since 8/2012
    Me:28 H:34
    Me: all tests normal!
    H:  Azoospermia (Sperm count zero).
    MFI Urologist all test normal.
    Biopsy Feb. 14

    ****EVERYONE WELCOME****
  • LG - OMG, that's hilarious!!! Check my FB and see how much I love that show. DH and I saw them live!! Kitten Mittens!! LOL.

    MrsLacy - That is sooooo awesome. I would have peed myself for sure. 

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  • imageSimoneSays22:

    Bredins wife: Ummm... I don't know! Why?!?!

    Beccs - I knew I could count on you for a good movie quote. Boondock Saints is one of my all-time favorite movies. "I'll have a Coke then!" 

    Because he was dead. BAHAHAHAHA!!! This joke is so not funny, but my sister LOVES it for some reason. Anyway...I just hit silver with this post! WOOT WOOT!!!!

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    TTC #2 since 8/2012
    Me:28 H:34
    Me: all tests normal!
    H:  Azoospermia (Sperm count zero).
    MFI Urologist all test normal.
    Biopsy Feb. 14

    ****EVERYONE WELCOME****
  • imageBredins wife:
    imageSimoneSays22:

    Bredins wife: Ummm... I don't know! Why?!?!

    Beccs - I knew I could count on you for a good movie quote. Boondock Saints is one of my all-time favorite movies. "I'll have a Coke then!" 

    Because he was dead. BAHAHAHAHA!!! This joke is so not funny, but my sister LOVES it for some reason. Anyway...I just hit silver with this post! WOOT WOOT!!!!

    Hahaha! Yay for silver! 

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  • imageBredins wife:
    imageSimoneSays22:

    Bredins wife: Ummm... I don't know! Why?!?!

    Beccs - I knew I could count on you for a good movie quote. Boondock Saints is one of my all-time favorite movies. "I'll have a Coke then!" 

    Because he was dead. BAHAHAHAHA!!! This joke is so not funny, but my sister LOVES it for some reason. Anyway...I just hit silver with this post! WOOT WOOT!!!!

    The joke made me laugh.  And Yes for silver! 





    however long the night, dawn will break.

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  • imageSimoneSays22:

    LG - OMG, that's hilarious!!! Check my FB and see how much I love that show. DH and I saw them live!! Kitten Mittens!! LOL.

     

    I may or may not have seen a photo on your FB, so I knew you'd get the reference.  Totally jealous that you've seen them!

  • pazranapazrana member

    "Boondock Saints"! =-) Hmm funny stories....well I have a cutish story will that do? DH and I took S to a farm today to pick up some chickens for my mom (last step in her Mother's Day gift) So I was holding S while DH held the box (actually our cat carrier) and the farmer put the chickens in.  Obviously, there was some squawking involved and this set off one of the roosters who was in the barn.  The rooster started running back and forth and yelling loudly.  I thought it might startle S, but no she stared at the rooster and started laughing loudly. This got the rooster going even more and the baby, and well, you get the point.  Cuteness.  I hope tomorrow is a better day for you!

    ETA: Oops Beccs beat me to the punch. Ah well, good movie!

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  • Sorry you're having a crappy day :( 

    So this is not a joke and not about my kid...but I think it's funny.

    My nearly 3 year-old niece was crying when we were visiting and my brother very calmly looked at her and said "Honey, why are you crying?"  She turned back to him and said, "I don't know, daddy, why am I crying?"  

    She's still learning certain word inflections in sentences and said it like a question, like she truly thought my brother knew why she was crying and she didn't have a clue. 

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  • imageLaurn2012:

    Sorry you're having a crappy day :( 

    So this is not a joke and not about my kid...but I think it's funny.

    My nearly 3 year-old niece was crying when we were visiting and my brother very calmly looked at her and said "Honey, why are you crying?"  She turned back to him and said, "I don't know, daddy, why am I crying?"  

    She's still learning certain word inflections in sentences and said it like a question, like she truly thought my brother knew why she was crying and she didn't have a clue. 

    Haha, aw!! That's so funny!

    Pazrana - babies and animals are hilarious. A girl on my FB just posted a video of her baby boy cracking up at a cow. It was funny. 

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  • beccs98beccs98 member

    Two muffins are in the oven.

    One of the muffins says to the other "Is it getting hot in here?"

    The other muffin says "HOLY ***, A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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  • beccs98beccs98 member
    McKenna, that made me so sad!
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  • You and your fvcking rope. nft
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  • Beccs - Hahahaha, I love sh!t like that.

    McKenna - Anything showing squirrels meeting some untimely demise is aces in my book.

    I can always count on TB ladies to cheer me up! This whole thread has me smiling! 

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  • imagebeccs98:

    Two muffins are in the oven.

    One of the muffins says to the other "Is it getting hot in here?"

    The other muffin says "HOLY ***, A TALKING MUFFIN!"

    Haha! I love stupid jokes.

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    TTC #2 since 8/2012
    Me:28 H:34
    Me: all tests normal!
    H:  Azoospermia (Sperm count zero).
    MFI Urologist all test normal.
    Biopsy Feb. 14

    ****EVERYONE WELCOME****
  • imagehoping4sticky:
    You and your fvcking rope. nft

    You and your stupid fvcking rope. 

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  • beccs98beccs98 member
    imageSimoneSays22:

    McKenna - Anything showing squirrels meeting some untimely demise is aces in my book.

    Are gonna we have to fight about squirrels?

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  • pazranapazrana member
    imageMcKenna04:

    image

    I just showed this to DH and he cracked up (and may or may not try to copy this in the near future). We have crazy squirrels that have taken out 2 squirrel proof feeders in the last 3 months. 

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  • imagebeccs98:
    imageSimoneSays22:

    McKenna - Anything showing squirrels meeting some untimely demise is aces in my book.

    Are gonna we have to fight about squirrels?

    Where I went to college, we had these crazy, huge, bold hybrid squirrels. They would cackle and throw acorns at you. I hated those things.

    My one roommate also refused to walk in the grass when she was drunk because she "didn't want to step in squirrel poop." LOL. 

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  • imageSimoneSays22:

    imagehoping4sticky:
    You and your fvcking rope. nft

    You and your stupid fvcking rope. 

    Yes, yes stupid fvcking mult-tasking

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  • imagerochella:
    imageSimoneSays22:

    imagehoping4sticky:
    You and your fvcking rope. nft

    You and your stupid fvcking rope. 

    You know what they say: People in glass houses sink sh-sh-ships.  

    Bahahaha! I love that bartender.

    hoping4sticky - I actually think he says it both ways, haha.

    I ALWAYS say "And then there was a FIREFIGHT!!!" 

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  • imagebeccs98:

    Two muffins are in the oven.

    One of the muffins says to the other "Is it getting hot in here?"

    The other muffin says "HOLY ***, A TALKING MUFFIN!"

    DH and I just laughed out loud at this...Hilarious!! :) 

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  • beccs98beccs98 member
    imageSimoneSays22:
    imagebeccs98:
    imageSimoneSays22:

    McKenna - Anything showing squirrels meeting some untimely demise is aces in my book.

    Are gonna we have to fight about squirrels?

    Where I went to college, we had these crazy, huge, bold hybrid squirrels. They would cackle and throw acorns at you. I hated those things.

    My one roommate also refused to walk in the grass when she was drunk because she "didn't want to step in squirrel poop." LOL. 

    But... but..

    Harold!

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  • imagebeccs98:
    imageSimoneSays22:
    imagebeccs98:
    imageSimoneSays22:

    McKenna - Anything showing squirrels meeting some untimely demise is aces in my book.

    Are gonna we have to fight about squirrels?

    Where I went to college, we had these crazy, huge, bold hybrid squirrels. They would cackle and throw acorns at you. I hated those things.

    My one roommate also refused to walk in the grass when she was drunk because she "didn't want to step in squirrel poop." LOL. 

    But... but..

    Harold!

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    Wait, is that your pet or something?

    And can we just agree that US squirrels suck? Maybe they're super duper awesome in Canada. LOL. 

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  • imageSimoneSays22:

     Anything showing squirrels meeting some untimely demise is aces in my book. 

    Squirrel=Rodent

    Same category as rats and mice.

    If I could feed them to my snake I totally would.    





    however long the night, dawn will break.

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  • imageMrsLacy:
    imageSimoneSays22:

     Anything showing squirrels meeting some untimely demise is aces in my book. 

    Squirrel=Rodent

    Same category as rats and mice.

    If I could feed them to my snake I totally would.    

    Oh, what kind of snake do you have?? I would love to get a ball python but DH would NEVER go for that. He hates snakes. :( 

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  • beccs98beccs98 member
    imageSimoneSays22:

    Wait, is that your pet or something?

    And can we just agree that US squirrels suck? Maybe they're super duper awesome in Canada. LOL. 

    Ha. That's an orphan squirrel I had for a week (and found a wildlife recovery place to take him). I really had no opinions of squirrels before him but now I'm like "Aww.. squirrels! Maybe it's Harold!". Although I never would want to see them hurt/dead. 

    But sure, let's say it's just Canadian squirrels.

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  • imageSimoneSays22:
    imageMrsLacy:
    imageSimoneSays22:

     Anything showing squirrels meeting some untimely demise is aces in my book. 

    Squirrel=Rodent

    Same category as rats and mice.

    If I could feed them to my snake I totally would.    

    Oh, what kind of snake do you have?? I would love to get a ball python but DH would NEVER go for that. He hates snakes. :( 

    My ball python is named Twinkie.  He's mean as shiit but I wouldn't trade him for the world :)  Your DH is a loser, BP's are awesome Stick out tongue





    however long the night, dawn will break.

    image


  • imagebeccs98:
    imageSimoneSays22:

    Wait, is that your pet or something?

    And can we just agree that US squirrels suck? Maybe they're super duper awesome in Canada. LOL. 

    Ha. That's an orphan squirrel I had for a week (and found a wildlife recovery place to take him). I really had no opinions of squirrels before him but now I'm like "Aww.. squirrels! Maybe it's Harold!". Although I never would want to see them hurt/dead. 

    But sure, let's say it's just Canadian squirrels.

    Aw, you are so sweet to find a rescue for him!

    And no, I don't really want to see squirrels dead. I just don't hold a special place in my heart for them. LOL. 

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  • A little dirty but this is my go-to joke!

     

    What do the tupper ware and the walrus have in common?

    .

    .

    .

    .

    They both like a "tight seal'

    :-)

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