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VBAC
beautifulstr13
member
How did you convince DH?
beautifulstr13
member
in VBAC
I am not currently pregnant but we plan to try later this year. I cant even mention VBAC to my DH. My son was born through c-section because he was breech with no intention of moving. At the time we thought this would be easy and predictable. Boy were we wrong. My surgery was quick and Liam came out fine. A few hours after surgery my blood pressure bombed and I fainted. They said I lost too much blood during surgery so two bags of blood later I was better but not great. I also had horrible gas pain. They kind that is in your shoulder. I couldnt even move. I couldnt hold my baby and nothing they did helped. I was in the hospital for five days recovering from the blood loss. I would like to do anything to avoid this happening again. Every time I see someone on tv sitting up and walking around right after a vaginal birth I get so jealous. So how did you convince your husbands that it was a good idea?
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Re: How did you convince DH?
I would definitely be looking for a VBAC-friendly OB now. I wouldn't discuss it too much with him right now. Cross that bridge when you get to it. I, personally told DH what I wanted (right after my C/S), and he didn't even want to discuss it. It makes it harder b/c I work in OB & see the good and bad...
When it got closer to the time for us to TTC, I found my OB, got my records transferred, had my first appt with her (an annual & we reviewed my delivery record), and then had DH come to my first OB appt. He listened to everything she had to say, asked his questions, and she gave him some material.
I think finding a pro-VBAC OB/MW makes the difference b/c while they are honest about the risks, they don't play-up the risks...KWIM?
Trevor Calvin 12.10.07 7:26pm 7lbs2.5oz 19.75in
Emerson Claire 07.07.11 11:34am 7lbs7oz 20.5 in
As I learned more about VBAC, I shared the things I learned with my husband. That way, I didn't need to convince him--he could see for himself that it wassafe.
For example, the risk of postpartum hemorrhage is much lower with a VBAC. Since you had a PPH after your c/s, you could talk to your husband about how VBAC would be much safer for you because PPH is less likely.
Ditto this!
PS. I also had the gas in my shoulder--it was AWFUL.
Breast-feeding, co-sleeping, Christian SAHM and wife.
*HOPING FOR A VBAC!*
This.
I had no difficulty convincing my husband. Although we didn't have any unusual complications from the surgery, he was really frightened that I had to go under the knife, even if just for a c/s, so I don't think he was all that resistant to a VBAC. I did share the risks and benefits with him, and told him why it was so important to me - how I felt (and he had too, I found out) like our birth experience kind of just happened to us and I didn't feel like a involved part of it.
He couldn't have been happier with the VBAC. He was a bit nervous beforehand about how labor was going to go, but was so pleased about how much better I felt after the VBAC as opposed to surgery. It was night and day and I know that it was a better experience for him in that way.
This.
My receovery from c secton wasnt good either and my DH was scared to death while I was in surgery and they told him I was loosing alot of blood. I was put to sleep and he wasnt allowed in. Long story shorter After that he said no more kids because his mom who is so ancient said once a c section always a csection and thats wrong. We basically educated ourself the pros and cons. Now with our 2nd due any day now LOL I explained everything about a VBAC and he was on board. Even though its possible I could end up with a RCS we are more educated about the pros and cons and what could happen. But in your situation I wouldnt have to do any convincing thats scary enough and I dont see why a VBAC would be hard to convince.
My DH didn't need convincing. He made it clear that it was my choice since I'd be the one doing the delivering:-) That said, he was very nervous about some of the things he had heard about VBACs since society seems to highlight the negatives and never mentions the negatives of CS. To alleviate this, my midwife actually had two meetings with us (one included a tour of the hospital) and she took a lot of time to answer all of his questions-- and all of his "what ifs". I think it made him feel a lot better to talk to the person who would be overseeing the whole thing and once he felt comfortable that she knew what she was doing, he felt much better.
After my VBAC, he agreed that it was definitely the way to go. My recovery was SO much easier and I was much more pleasant to be around;-)
Also no convincing needed with my DH also. This is a good link about VBAC to show him:
https://givingbirthwithconfidence.org/2-2/a-womans-guide-to-vbac/
I agree with the PP who took their DH to their pro-VBAC provider, it's a good idea.
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
It's been a slow process. We're not pregnant yet, so he has atleast 10 months to get used to the idea. I bring up studies, forward articles, discuss how unhappy I was with my c-section. When my scar hurts, I mention it. I figure by the time we get there, he'll be ready.
Just remember that they have in some ways a more emotional role in the birthing process. I passed out during labor after the epidural caused my blood pressure to drop rapidly. As they were putting the oxygen mask over my face and I was losing consciousness, I remember thinking "Ooooh, I like air, this is nice." On the other hand, DH was terrified. My Mom said he really lost it. To the point where he's really not sure he wants to have more kids, because of the risk to me and the baby.
So, take it slowly when introducing the topic. Try not to push too hard. Time is on your side.
His belief that there is lower risk with a CS is unfortunately a product of the media. When the time comes, he definitely should be exposed to the actual studies and your OB/MW rather than what "people" say. Good luck to you! I am sure he will come around.
This exactly for me.