Emotional toll of secondary infertility?

smacb · May 2011

Anyone else feel like they walk around sad about SIF all the time? It's hard to talk to Dh about it because he's dealing with it too. It seems like everywhere we go, there's some kind of reminder.....

MrsJaimebeth · May 2011

yes i feel like that..although it just recently got worse after doing 2 IVF cycles in a row, with the most recent ending in miscarriage last week...just talking about babies, seeing my pregnant friends (although im thrilled for them)..and .today im actually throwing a baby shower for my friend (cousin in law)...and my husband asked if we wanted to hang the balloons outside our house that say, "ITS A GIRL"..i chose not to..cause then the neightbors may think its for me and ask me next time..and then i would lose it....tough day ahead...but im reminding myself its not about me...my time will come...i know it will...

it is just one big emotional rollercoaster and it sucks

RMR13 · May 2011

Yes! I wish we didn't but I'm glad I'm not alone. That's why I joined this board, so I wouldn't make him crazy, he is an eternal optimist and I am the exact opposite. I'm always worried I'm turning into one of the crazy bitter women who can't even smile at a pg friend without excusing myself shortly after to go cry in a bathroom.

JMay · May 2011

Yes. Absolutely. Especially the last year, 2IF has really defined me. It's been horrible. I'm trying to fight back now, and it may be working, or it may be denial. I think even if I do get KU, I will always have some scars from this.

JMay · May 2011

I also agree with RMR - I'm here so I don't drive DH nuts. I do enough of that as it is! LOL

mbs427 · May 2011

This has definitely affected me. This board has been a great support system, as secondary infertility is such a lonely place. Sometimes I feel guilty for wanting another one since we are blessed with DS.

Twizzle · May 2011

Yes, I feel like that all the time and I'm starting to worry that it's affecting DS. I had my first IUI on Saturday, and the u/s was confusing, it wasn't what I was expecting, and I cried several times that day, including in front of DS (well, we were all in the car).

I don't know yet what will happen with this cycle, but I'm almost starting to feel like quitting all of the trying and medications and procedures and trying to just "let it happen". I don't really know if I would be able to do this though--I know too much to just accidentally get pregnant and I feel like I would still be hyper-aware of CM and when AF is due, etc. I just don't know how much more of this roller coaster I can take and maybe I should just be happy with the one wonderful child I already have.

DeputiesWife · May 2011

I definitely do - more so when I am at work then at home - or when I have alone time (very rare) with DH - i try not to be sad around DD - but i do get tears when she asks me when she will have a baby sister.

There are reminders everywhere. I just do my best to remain positive and focus on what I do have.

RyansMTCowGirl · May 2011

For me dealing with SIF has been way more emotionally draining than dealing with our original diagnonsis of IF/PCOS and TTC#1. I had a lot of guilt about how far we should go as far as treatments, and questioning myself about why couldn't I just be happy with what I already had. I think what you are feeling is 100% normal. Please know that we are all here to listen and support you!

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