Moms that FF, come on in...

mocknine · May 2011

So I BF and pump and supplement with formula. I made the decision tonight to stop breastfeeding. I never enjoyed it from day one, and DD has nipple confusion (except in the middle of the night when she wakes up) which leaves me to pump during the day. I find it difficult to find time to pump because LO doesn't like to be put down, or we are out of the house running errands. When I do pump I only get about 2oz on average in a session (that is pumping both sides), which is why I supplement with formula as well.

I'm feeling extremely guilty about my decision. With all the pros they tell you regarding breastmilk, I feel like I am being a bad mom by not BF or pumping anymore. How did all of you make the decision to either stop BF or to FF from the start? Did any of you feel guilty about it (if so, does it go away soon)?

Lastly, what do I do to get my milk to dry up?

Thanks for your help!

daniellepanda · May 2011

Your LO got the benefits of BM for 2 months which is still great! I am having to start to supplement his bottles during the day because I am back to work and he is eating four 6 oz bottles when Im at work, and I can only pump twice while at work which gives me 10-12oz total for the day so he is going to get bottles of 1/2 and 1/2. I also feel guilty but keep trying to tell myself that formula is not bad for him and as long as he is eating and growing thats all that matters. Ideally I would EBF until 6 months but unfortunately I have to work 50 hours a week so that's not feasible.

To help dry up I wouldn't go cold turkey to avoid getting a clogged duct, etc. I would say pump still- but every other day get rid of one pumping session until your down to once a day and then just stop once you stop getting engorged. also you can take sudafed to help dry up. I heard cold cabbage leaves in your bra help too.

Lilleybug · May 2011

I wasnt able to BF right away. I had a tough labor and ended passing out for 5 hours after. When I woke up they had already fed DS a bottle. In the hospital I did not even have colostrum. The lactation consultant tried to hand express and nothing came out. Then LO was in the NICU for 10 days and even though I pumped every 2 hours round the clock I never felt my milk come in. At about 10 days I started to get something. This whole time DS was bottle fed or we were using an SNS. I tried Fenugreek and Mothers milk tea. I would feed DS each side for 10 min, supplement with formula, then pump. I did this every two hours for an entire month. The most I ever got in one day was an ounce!

I had lost a lot of blood and needed 2 transfusions. My body needed blood before milk. At this point DS was 95% formula fed. After a month of doing everything I could I gave up. I felt guilty for awhile and even now I feel like I have to defend my decision. I just couldn't do it anymore. I was not getting anything and I was just exhausted. In the end I decided happy mom = happy baby. Your are NOT a bad mom. You love you baby and baby needs to eat. Many babies are FF and they turn out just fine! Formula is way better these days than before.

As for milk drying up I do not have a lot of advice. I never really had much to begin with. Be confident in your decision. I am sure you are a great mom!

ashley542 · May 2011

I planned on BF but in the hospital DD would not latch at all. We kept trying and trying and she would just cry and I got all depressed and stressed with the whole situation so we had to do formula. She wouldn't eat the regular formula either so after a couple of hours trying we ended up giving her the soy formula and thankfully she would eat it. A week later we had to switch back to regular formula though (similac sensitive for spit up) cause the soy was upsetting her stomach so much. She now is a little chunker who loves eating. She's happy and healthy and gaining weight properly so I do not regret having to FF. It took about a week for my milk to dry up and for the pain to go away. I just kept a bra on at all times. I've heard that some women put cabbage leaves on the bewbs and that helps. GL and don't feel guilty. All that matters is that your baby is healthy!

njmoh · May 2011

I FF from the start by choice, I know myself and I am not comfortable with the thought of it and felt that If I was uncomfortable it would make my LO uncomfortable so why put the 2 of us through needless stress. I do not feel guilty, my daughter is happy healthy loved and being fed that is what is important in the long run. i would suggest wearing a supportive bra at all times and ice packs

liladelphia215 · May 2011

I started exclusively FF a few weeks ago. Basically, my story is that birth control pills dried me up. I wasn't comfortable taking the mini pill because of how easy I got pg with DD (My OB told me it was only 96% effective and that percent is based on taking it within 15 minutes every day). Within a few weeks of taking BCPs I was only pumping 4oz a day. Being tied to the pump and only getting that much, just wasn't worth the effort anymore. I did feel guilty for a few days, and still do sometimes, but in the end it was the right choice for me.

As for how to dry up the milk, I have no experience with this as BCPs did it for me. I was only mildly uncomfortable for the first day or two.

Autumn Bride 2007 · May 2011

I'm kind of in the same boat .I was gung ho about BF and I really like it actually but I am getting sort of tired of it at the same time. And then I feel guilty about it. But what I do, is remind myself that formula is NOT poison and I still EBF'd for 3 months straight--now we are introducing formula and she's doing AWESOME with it! And now I am looking forward to the day when she can be dropped off at Grammy's house for more than 2 hrs at a time...or enjoying a night out with some girlfriends and some wine! Please don't feel guilty...you are doing what is best for YOU and YOUR child! No one can fault you!

Edited to add that to dry it up, you need to drop one feeding a day for a few days in a row. For example, I am nursing LO when she wakes up at 7am then FF for the next feeding around 10:30, then nursing the rest of the day. On Sat I will drop the 12:45-1 feeding to formula..etc. I still plan to nurse her in the mornings and at night for a while but it will take a few weeks to completely wean if you don't want to be in pain that is. I also stoppped pumping.

sbuxsweetie · May 2011

Your story sounds very similar to mine, except I only made it a few weeks before making the switch. You can read about my experience here: Clicky

Hang in there! Deciding to stop BFing/pumping does not make you any less of a mother. In fact, if you and baby are both happier, it will make you an even better mommy. Hugs to you Smile

christyp80 · May 2011

I still EBF, but I came in anyway.

To me, food is food! You're still feeding your baby, whether you BF or FF. I think it's crazy that anyone would judge you ladies for FF. Years and years ago, formula was invented so ALL babies could thrive, regardless of whether their mommy's breasts produced tons of milk or hardly any or none. Think of all the babies who would be underweight, struggling to eat, or even starving, if formula didn't exist. Thank goodness for formula, and cheers to your thriving babies!!!

bonnie_belle101 · May 2011

sbuxsweetie:

Your story sounds very similar to mine, except I only made it a few weeks before making the switch. You can read about my experience here: Clicky

Hang in there! Deciding to stop BFing/pumping does not make you any less of a mother. In fact, if you and baby are both happier, it will make you an even better mommy. Hugs to you

This is my story too. My story is here. I still feel guilty sometimes but my LO is thriving and that's the most important thing. You're doing a great job Mama! As for the milk drying up, I was only pumping a few oz's every session and therefore it wasn't hard. The first day I stopped I got engorged after about 24 hours so I nursed Lily to releave the discomfort. The next day the same thing happened after about 24 hours, so I nursed again. After that I never had any discomfort again.

FallBabez · May 2011

Do not feel guilty. I felt guilty and it was silly for me to do so. From day one our dd made both my nipples bleed from her suction. It had actully looked like something had bite me. I tried again and again but I wasn't getting enough colostrum for her so we had no choice but to FF. We use Similac Advance and she loves it.

I stopped feeling guilty within two weeks. Also, I didn't have anything to make my milk dry up but if there is something, USE IT. I actually ended up with a painful infection in one breast and had to go on antibiotics for a week to get rid of it.

mocknine · May 2011

You ladies are AWESOME! I really appreciate everyone's story and support. It really makes me feel better to know that I'm not alone, and that LO will be just fine!

Here's hoping it doesn't take too long to dry up... and that the guilt fades sooner than later!

Thanks again!!!

Wufroggy79 · May 2011

Don't feel guilty. I really wish the stigma against FFers would go away. People judge you like your child will grow a third eye if you don't BF.

Jennabug25 · May 2011

I have been a pumper since the start. DS was tongue tied and he had major nipple confusion since he was getting a bottle since day 2. I supplement my LO with formula too, he gets half and half. I make enough milk to be able to give him a few full bottles of bm a day, but with the switching back and forth between bm and ff i thought it was to hard on his tummy so he gets half and half and is thriving. I want to stop pumping too, my supply have gone down dramatically since getting my IUD too. I in the evenings I only get about 2.5oz total. I don't see anything wrong with stopping. As long as you and baby are happy. Pumping is a total PITA!

My sister gave me crap when I said I wanted to stop soon. I said I wanna wear a normal bra (underwire gives me clog ducts after 20 mins) and she said that was selfish. I am big chested and my back hurts from this lack of support. I feel like my ladies are going to be dragging on the ground soon if I don't give them a better bra! But I am almost tired of pumping. With LO being more active I would rather play with him then pump. But it's not like she can even talk! She FF her DD and pumped for 2 weeks before quitting! So poo on her!

ksyknelvr73 · May 2011

Honestly, you have done a great job sticking with it for this long. I started out BFing as well and also supplementing with formula since he had jaundice and we were required to give him formula based on that. I did it for a month, I got mastitis twice, and I had the same problem as you where I'd try to pump but I couldn't put DS down long enough to do it. It was such a hassle.

I cried over my decision - I was really upset and felt like I was cheating DS, but ultimately, I don't regret it for a second. I get more sleep, I get to spend more QT with DS, and I have my body and boobs back.

It took two weeks for my milk to dry up...it felt like an eternity. I literally kept ice packs on them at all times. Took a lot of pain meds to deal with the engorgement. Used cabbage leaves in my bra as well, I have no idea if that actually helped or not. Ultimately, it just took time and patience.

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