February 2011 Moms

Confiding in you guys... (embarrassed to admit)

DH and I have still not had an intimate moment since LO was born (16 weeks ago today).

Am I the only one?  I feel like my body is just missing some spark these days I don't even want to try to be sexy for him. When I think about it I do miss it and I do love my DH but the thought of trying to seduce him does not interest me at all.  

Anyone else going through this? 

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Re: Confiding in you guys... (embarrassed to admit)

  • vflipovflipo member
    You're not alone. The last time we had sex was the beginning of June last year, when DD was conceived. He wants sexy time every day it seems like, but I'm so exhausted from working and school and taking care of DD that I just can't do it. I also can't shut my brain off enough to not be thinking about work or school or DD when she's sleeping and we have alone time.
    I married a ginger.
    m/c 12/25/09 (5w5d) mm/c D&C 4/9/10 (11w1d) Take home baby 2/22/11
    My boobies belong to cour10e
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  • First of all, your baby is absolutely adorable!

    Secondly, I feel that way a lot. I don't feel sexy at all. I really haven't since....the beginning of the pregnancy? haha, I really don't remember! Not only that, but I'm so exhausted all the time too, which makes wanting to do anything nonexistent. If I get time to do anything, I just want to relax! That being said, we are and have been intimate since A was born. Maybe once you start things with your DH, the mood will come! Just try it. Your DH will appreciate it very much!

  • I'm sure you're not alone- give yourself some time.  It's a whole 'nother ball game when a LO is involved....lord knows, it hasn't been easy.  My suggestion (not that you asked) would be to make sure you communicate this to DH- your marriage is far too important to let it go by the wayside.  Did you start a new BC, btw? 
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  • We're attempting to have sex once a week right now (mostly b/c H "needs" it), but there are definitely times he'll go to kiss me or squeeze my butt and I give him an awful "are you kidding me?" look.. poor guy. Embarrassed My libido is in the negative numbers 99% of the time.



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  • We've had sexy time 4 times since DD was born, and that includes one game of just the tip--we had to stop because it hurt too bad.  I miss it, but at the same time, don't have ANY desire for it.  My body feels like it belongs to DD now, and that just doesn't turn me on.  I hope my hormones get back to normal soon!!!
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  • This is an ongoing issue in our house. We've had sex twice since LO was born. He wants it all the time and I never do. When LO goes to sleep at night I just want to sleep because I know he will be back up in 3 hours. I'm really trying to talk myself into it more because I do feel bad and I'm hoping once we start being intimate regularly it won't be so much like a chore.
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  • We've only done it twice.  I was glad when we did - but still never have much desire.  Just too tired!   DH hasn't even been trying...don't think he's really that interested right now either.  It's just everything is so busy and life is so centered around DD right now.  Seems like the last thing on our minds...BUT I know we need to make an effort.  Planning on trying again this weekend.

    The funniest part is that we left my bra on both times because I leak really bad - and so I need the bra and nursing pads on so that I don't squirt BM all over DH.  NOT very sexy.

     

     

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  • I wouldn't feel bad. We have only dtd once since LO was born. It was okay, but I just cant seem to find the time or energy to want to do it again. Also, we currently co-sleep and somtimes bed share and we both are not comfortable with that. The time we did it we had a baby sitter.
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  • We've had sex a few times, but my libido is super low. I just want to sleep when DD goes down. However, when Dh tries, I generally go with it. I enjoy it once we get going, it just takes awhile. I also don't feel like trying to be sexy, but DH doesn't seem to care. He's just happy that there's no baby in there to worry about hitting :) If you're ready to do it, just let your DH know. I'm sure he won't be opposed even if you have to kinda pretend to be in the mood at first.
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  • I have to pretend to be into it sometimes, but we try to have some intimate time at least once a week or so. Sometimes, we just "fool around" because I'm really not up for anything more, but it's better than nothing. My DH has a crazy libido and I haven't been on-par with his in a long time, but I try... it's important.

    Dee, Mommy to: Sofia, born 2/9/11, as well as three dogs, two cats and a multitude of chinchillas. Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • DH and I haven't had sex yet, either.  I just feel like there's always been something keeping us from it.  From weeks 6-8 I had pretty serious postpartum depression and having sex was not something I wanted at all.  Then I got an IUD and was bleeding for a couple weeks, then DH got the flu/cold for a week so it didn't happen then, either.  Now all of a sudden, DS is 15 weeks old!  I know it's important for us to have that intimacy again, but it just hasn't happened yet.  
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