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Houston Babies
rayskit10
member
**confession**
rayskit10
member
Truitt is 21 months old and capable of feeding himself, yet I feed him pretty much every meal. I am starting to get concerned b/c he now doesn't even want to feed himself certain meals- especially breakfast. It's cute- he likes to read his truck or animals books and I feed him but I am worried about the lack of independence at this age.
He can use his hands like a champ obviously and is good with forks and spoons, but he would probably be better if he had to feed himself. Part of it is the worry that he won't get enough to eat b/c he'll be playing with his food an/or dropping it, or it will take too long and he'll tire of trying to eat... I don't know if I'm looking for advice or commiseration or what... I am just starting to develop a little complex about it, yet at the same time I am not really taking any steps to change it...
This discussion has been closed.
Re: **confession**
V, I'm the same way. I know if Maddie does it, she'll make a huge mess and it'll create more work for me. Sometimes I let go but I should probably let her do it more often.
You're not alone.
this is part of my issue. all the books and everything else say that Turtle should be asserting his independence and yet he actually prefers I feed him a lot of the time. i have this nightmarish vision of his wife feeding him breakfast before work in the mornings!
How is it that you are still feeding him? Are you actually using utensils yourself and spooning the food into his mouth? I know it's a bunch of work to clean up, but if you continue to do that he won't learn how to do it himself or want to do it himself. What about finger foods, like toast, fruit, cheese, Cheerios and such? Surely he can eat those types of food by himself.
It will be super difficult if not impossible to continue feeding him once your new baby arrives. Better to make the change now than wait until you have a newborn on your hands. I hope that doesn't sound harsh - I'm just speaking from experience when I tell you that having two is exponentially harder than one and you want him to be as independent as possible once baby #2 gets here.
I wish Sarah still let me feed her. The only thing she will let me feed her is yogurt and applesauce. It sure would make cleaning up after meals easier. I would love to not have to mop everyday!
from the original post:
yes, i feed him yogurt with a spoon for breakfast and if he has something like pasta for dinner, i usually feed it to him if we are at home. when we go out to dinner or anytime we are all eating together, he feeds himself. he usually eats b-fast alone. he eats on his own at school obviously. he *can* do it; i just do it for him out of habit.
Okay, got it about the finger foods. I'm sorry, I didn't read your post as thoroughly as I should have.
I think any habits you have now that work against his gaining independence are the ones you should focus on changing before you have another baby. I had a tough time moving from one child to two, so my advice comes from that place.
i know you're right. i know he can do it on his own. that's kind of my thing right now: what is the mental block that makes me not just let him eat? i mean, i know it's enough of an issue to post about it, but when it's breakfast time i just don't think. i just do.
i guess the point of my post is to kind of work it out. thanks for the reminder that i have a 2nd baby on the way. that's a good motivator!
i know you're right. i know he can do it on his own. that's kind of my thing right now: what is the mental block that makes me not just let him eat? i mean, i know it's enough of an issue to post about it, but when it's breakfast time i just don't think. i just do.
i guess I realixe now the point of my post is to kind of work it out. thanks for the reminder that i have a 2nd baby on the way. that's a good motivator!
Avery feeds herself 90% of the time and it is so messy. Someimtes I just want to feed her myself and save the hassle, but she loves to feed herself. I just wish she could use a fork and a spoon better. She holds them, but still shovels food into her mouth with her hands.
Yogurt, applesauce, soup and stews are still fed to her.
Pics by Fleurish Imagery
Most stuff I can cut up for Jakob and he'll use his hands to feed himself, but with items that are more liquid I still feed him.
Jakob likes trying to use a spoon but when he does hardly any of it gets in his mouth and he'll end up either just holding the spoon and continue to use his hands, or he'll put the spoon down all together. He gets frustrated because he wants to be independent and use a spoon, but the food doesn't make it to his mouth. So a lot of times he still lets me feed him because he knows he'll get the food that way instead of wearing it. LOL
Our neighbors, at least the dad, is still feeding his 3 year old. He doesn't want the mess, so he feeds him. You can either commiserate with him or feel good that you're not that far gone?
Lucas self feeds at most meals, but I don't think that makes him heads above in ability based on what you describe. So, maybe you're not stunting him?
Also, we feed Lucas at some point of almost every meal. Either he is having trouble and needs help, he is tired, or he is not focused on eating the thing we think he needs to try/eat.
As for playing, if he starts playing he's done. We give him two chances on violations like squishing something through his fingers (b/c we know it is an interesting feeling). Then, if he continues, meal is over.
To combat possible toddler emaciation, the meal over rule can be for only a few minutes while he calms down. It depends on whether the violation comes before or after it seems like he's had enough to eat.
When you're ready Truitt will be fine...it will be messy and I could understand wanting to avoid that...your son is very coordinated, though, so I think he'll get it together quickly.
that's the killer. none of this has to do with him or his own ability. he eats just fine with a fork and spoon. it's me. when we go out, he always feeds himself and about 1/2 the time at home and always at school.
this morning he ate a whole bowl of raisin bran on his own. sure, there was milk all down his front, but all the flakes were in his mouth. i need to say, it was b/c of this post i said "screw it" and just let him do it on his own. i also let him feed himself pasta with meat sauce last night. he got distracted about 4 bites in by his fave truck book, so i fed him a couple bites while he looked at it. he got interested in food again and ended up feeding himself the rest.
i guess i just needed to admit it openly to make myself stop it