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October 2011 Moms
UO Thursday....
This discussion has been closed.
Re: UO Thursday....
There for a minute, I was thinking there was something wrong with us because we started telling people the gender guess we received at the NT scan, including that caveat that it's still early and it could change. I mean, we were excited and people were asking, so we just told them. It's been the same with all of our friends, too. I honestly didn't realize people made it into such a big deal.
My UO is that everyone should just live and let live! Of course everything thinks that the way they are choosing to ________ (birth/diaper/decorate/immunize/etc) is the best way to do it. That's why they're doing it. You're not going to change their opinion!
That being said, it's also silly to put any opinion on a message board and then be shocked when everyone isn't all hearts, star and butterflies about it. When you choose to go public, you choose to allow anyone and everyone to comment.
I took bare belly shots with my son and have mostly so far with this baby because honestly, with clothes on I just don't look pregnant. I look like I ate one too many doughnuts and it is not at all cute or representative of my being belly. I didn't get them professinally done with my son because I never felt like my bump really showed up in pictures except for bare belly side shots. I don't put them on FB and I am certainly not framing them all over my house, but I will hang one in our bedroom when we get them done for this baby.
My OU is that just because I have a name I am pretty certain I am going to use, doesn't mean I need to tell everyone who asks what that name is. For one thing, I don't want your opinion, so why would I open it up so you could potentially give it to me? I don't need to hear potentially negative or fake opinions. Your happy ass can wait until the kid is born so that way if you think the name sucks, you'd be insulting my actual child, not just the name, and therefore you will actually keep your mouth shut like you always should have in the first place. And by the way I am not planning on using some made up name with extra y's in it, so I am not too concerned about negative reactions, but I still want to keep the name to myself.
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Right, and I don't find any of it rude, unless someone is personally attacking another person. (i.e. "Sarah, you are a terrible person and will be a terrible mother some day because you think that blah blah blah..."). UO Thurs. is a great forum for us to get brave and tell each other what is on our mind. We're all free to share our opinion. It's not a personal attack on anyone, nor is it "rude."
Im sorry, but this has me laughing. NOT because I think either of you is wrong, but because it remind me SO MUCH of my little brother. In second grade he broke another kids collarbone in a kickball game, and that night the kids parents came over to our house SCREAMING that my brother was a bully, etc. My brother told them that he didnt mean to hurt this kid, but that tis kid got mad that Everett (my bro) had gotten him out and had then punch my brother, so my brother shoved him.
The kids parents were like...is that true? And the kid was like...oh, yeah. Needless to say they left pretty shamefaced.
We bought our mom's gender specific brag books as mothers day presents to give them after the anatomy scan Tuesday because I was out of town for mothers day so we couldn't give them gifts that day. My mom was so excited she was acutally PISSED she had to wait until she got home from work to find out. The only reason we even did that was because when I was pregnant with my son she was 100% sure it was a girl and has so far been referring to this baby to everyone, even in emails, as her "grandson" so I thought it was funny how sure she was and how wrong she was.
MY UO.... newborn pics. I mean, the ones where baby isn't even a week old and they're professional too. Poor kid (and mom) just went through hell and now you're dolling them up and put in a pot to mimic a flower or something. Just too much.
I dig the pics of babies next to blocks that say "1 month" etc. but right out of the vag. Cut the kid some slack.
BFP #1 - 11/16/10 CP 12/1/10
Our team green turned into team pink!
BFP #2 17dpo - 47, 19dpo - 114 Chart
Man, I am LATE today. But here goes...
My UO opinion is that I can't STAND when baby/toddler boys are in girly, smocked clothing. HE'S A BOY. Put him in boy clothing. Period.
I too took bare belly shots. They are my favorite ones. Pregnant bellies are beautiful, I don't think there is anything wrong with them unless you are being generaly trashy like previously mentioned, and that applies either way.
ITA with this too. I still think there will be people who tell me negative stuff about the name, but I do hope that waiting will shut up the people (i.e., my mother) who think there's time to change my mind before the baby comes. I don't intend to change my mind, but I also don't want to deal with a million conversations with people who think they have a right to campaign to name my child.
My BFP Chart
Becoming a better role model for my daughter, one day at a time
Lisasue - I totally see the ninja baby now! very adorable.
My UO is not PR but I hate when people that cant fit into clothes wear them anyway. Your butt shouldnt be eating your shorts. go buy a bigger size. This isnt just really fat people, it is anyone that is not willing to buy more clothes.
This. I also can not stand the word "furbaby".
In a similar vein...
I find it unfortunate that every time the topic of C-section comes up, every woman who's had one has to explain why hers was absolutely medically necessary and how her baby would not have made it if she didn't have one. Fine. Yours was medically necessary.
In the mean time, C-section rates in hospitals hover around 25-30%, while the American Pregnancy Association says that a "reasonable" transfer rate for a birth center is 7-12%.
You figure out how that all adds up, because I can't.
I understand the psychological need to defend one's own experience. However, It's sad that there are a lot of women out there getting unnecessary surgery and those most affected by it, mothers and pregnant women, don't seem to be putting up much of a fight.
Kirstie Alley thinks she's a size 6!
I hate the baby names board but I keep lurking around. People are so crazy these days about youneeque spelling and weird names. It's certain to give your kid a rough start in life and judging glances at the playground when you call your child.
Oh I agree - I hated getting stuff that wasn't on my registry - b/c I took the time to go out and register for ITEMS that I wanted...
However, asking only for money - haha, you're getting a gift
Because there are a lot of doctors who convince their patients that a csection is medically necessary when there are cases where it isn't, such as some people assume if the baby is over a certain weight they have to get a csection because the baby is "too big" to deliver. But I will tell you this, I will take my shitty horrible emergency csection that was hell recovering from and I had to be put to sleep for any day if there is a chance that not doing so is going to cause damage to my child. And you can tell my cousin who asked her doctor for a csection and was told she didn't need one that at least she got to deliver her daughter vaginally, which makes up for the fact that she will never be able to walk or speak because of how bad her cerebal palsy is.
Totally agree with this! I worked with a girl who was the smallest thing ever and she still insisted on wearing pants that were way too tight. She would get asked daily by customers what her due date was. Also, her nickname was "Muffintop Megan"
agreed! everyone is the perfect parent, til they have kids.
i've eaten my words so many times!
I may throw myself "party" just to have an excuse to buy an ice cream cake. Otherwise, I totally agree.
My UO...I don't get why people post asking for "thoughts and prayers for a friend". I guess I'm just not that compassionate.
BFP#2 02/18/11 * Beta@15dpo=215 * @18dpo=698 * @20dpo=2337 * @25dpo=10,931 * DS Arrived October 24, 2011
BFP#3 08/12 | D&C 9/12 (no hb)
BFP#4 Due May 1, 2014 Stick baby stick!
This was my UO last week - I like the natural looking pictures where the baby is just lying down sleeping or whatever, but I strongly dislike the ones where they "pose" the newborn into cutesy poses like propping their head on their fist when the baby is sleeping. I have seen several of these and they creep me out.
I love you for this. I 100% agree with manbearpig (great name btw) and I, too, loathe the word furbaby.
but also high risk pregnancies are less likely to give birth in a birthing centre. high risk pregnancies are more likely to end up in c-section. it is hard to compare those statistics. It isnt a blind trial. They dont have 2 identical cases - one in birthing centre all is well and one in hospital and gets pushed to a c-section.
Thank you for the lesson in cultural sensitivity, but I'm pretty sure my friend who got upset because I didn't cancel my commitment so that I could attend her child's first birthday party didn't throw the party because of any cultural significance. It's cases like this I am referring to, not ones in which culture is the driving force behind the meaning of the party.
And your point is? Medical technology has come a long way and most women feel more comfortable giving birth in a hospital where that technology is available to them. Do doctors and women who schedule csections to make their own lives easier give the procedure a bad name? Yes. So do hospitals who push you for a csection because your baby weighs 9 pounds or youve been in labor for more than 2 hours. Does that mean that anyone who has a csection needs to justify their reasons for it or why the rate is higher in hospitals? The only thing women can do is educate themselves on what makes a csection medically necessary or not than make a choice that they are comfortable with. My only concern is the health of my child and if I for one second think that is at risk, I don't give a sh!t if they cut my *** open and pull the baby from behind because my top priority is not a puppy and rainbows natural birth where my baby glides on out of my vag like a water slide. Would I prefer that, who wouldn't? But the manner in which my child arrives is not that important to me. And if you are so concerned about people feeling that they need to justify their choice psychologically, look at your own attitude when you wonder why.
I'm not saying women should justify why they have a c-section. I said I think it's unfortunate that it seems like every woman who has one insists that hers was medically necessary, even though the numbers don't agree.
Fvck me, I guess, for caring about the health of women along with the health of their babies.
I have to agree with both of your posts and especially the bolded. There has been progress that women aren't judged as harshly for using pain medication. Unfortunately, IMO, there is too much stigma around women who have c-sections that were deemed medically necessary by their doctor. Sure, the c-section rate nationally and at some individual hospitals is "too" high, but the presumption that the women who are in that high statistic are somehow to blame for the statistic is both ridiculous and insulting. They justify the birth they experienced because they had whatever birth they needed to get the baby in their arms healthy and safe, period. They trusted their doctors. THEY are not to blame (unless they elected c-sections for pure vanity reasons) if anyone is, it's the doctors you need to be judging, not the women who are giving birth.
BTW, the math doesn't add up because statistics aren't as easy as people would like who throw them around. After reading your original post, overture, I went and read the American Pregnancy Association website. I'd love to know where they pulled that number from. I saw no footnoted research to back up how they decided what was "reasonable". I don't buy statistics just because a website tells me I should. If you have an idea about where I can find how they reached that number, I'd love to read it.
I also saw on that website that you should have a list of reasons why you don't want a c-section. I doubt many women are in the frame of mind to negotiate when they're in active labor and the doctor/nurse/etc are telling them they need to do X immediately. It's another story if they're just taking too long, I fully support the idea that they stand their ground and refuse. Otherwise, I just don't think that expectation is reasonable
I couldn't agree more, on both counts. I had a friend who specifically told people NOT to buy off my wedding registry and to give money instead. If I hadn't wanted it, I wouldn't have registered for it! We got hardly anything from our registry. Then for her wedding, she removed everything (except super expensive items) in the last month so that people would give her money instead. What'd she get from me? Not money and not something on her registry! (Side note: a mutual friend who's an artist gives a "gift certificate" of getting an original painting of whatever you want from her; this same girl sent her a FB message after to tell her that weddings are for giving money, knowing this artist friend doesn't have a huge amount of it, and that she's trying to pay for her house, not decorate it - talk about tacky!)
My UO for this week is that I wish a stranger would actually ask if I'm pregnant. LOL I know that this is frowned on, and I would never do it in case the person isn't. But I want confirmation that people can actually tell I've got a bump at last!
BFP #1: July 12, 2010 Natural M/C: July 26, 2010
BFP #2: January 30 ,2011 Born: September 29, 2011
BFP #3: January 5, 2013 Born: August 25, 2013
Mine - If one more gay throws his/her hands up and claps, exclaiming I am 'having a gay-be' I am going to f'ing strangle them. I mean seriously.. what the hell is a gay-be? I am a lesbian and I am pregnant. This doesn't mean my baby is going to be gay?! Who ever heard of a gay baby?
I also HATE man cave. Grow the f up.
Probably too late for anyone to see this but after reading all this I have to say...
I'm happy to be having a 3rd c-section. Given my situation (advanced maternal age, gestational diabetes, 2 previous c-sections, etc...) my doctor would not consider a VBAC. I am FINE WITH THAT. It's a helluva lot easier to plan around knowing a couple weeks in advance when my baby will be born.
I will say that knowing what I know NOW... 5 years later... yeah, I kinda wish I had not been so willing to give into a c-section. But, I don't beat myself up and sure as hell am not going to let a stranger do that.