Screaming for drugs during labor? Thoughts?

shellycollelo · May 2011

I recently spoke with someone that had a med free birth in a hospital. At one point, she told me, "there will come a point where you will scream for drugs."

Thoughts on this? I've read plenty of birth stories already where there was no mention of screaming for drugs, though I know I have read some where they did. I guess I just didn't like that she stated it as though it were inevitable.

andrea922 · May 2011

I did with both, during transition. Luckily my doula talked me down.

Temp76535187505890 · May 2011

Many women, when going through transition, start to doubt their abilities which may lead to asking for pain relief but not always. With my first I got to 7 cm, hit transition and gave in to the epidural. Determination (and education) the second time let me go the entire birth without the thought of pain relief and doubt never entered my mind even once. The thing about it is that it's ok if you do start to doubt yourself or start questioning the path you're on as long as you have the labor support in place to remind you of your goals or why you chose the path you did.

margeincharge2 · May 2011

I've been told that a lot of natural birth moms say or think this at some point during labor. It is one of the reasons my doula recommended having a "safe word" to use when I "really" meant I wanted drugs versus something I might say during labor.

MustanGTbaby13 · May 2011

I have heard this or women saying"I can't do it" and they are generally in transition...if you have a strong support team you should have nothing to worry about as they will encourage you that you can get through the hardest part.

chillyupnorth · May 2011

As PP said, I have heard that when you are at the point of screaming for drugs, pushing is right around the corner. I also read about using procrastination as a tool. Since DH and I both excel at procrastinating

, we're going to use that method. Basically when I feel ready for drugs, I'll tell him that if I ask again in 30 minutes, then we can talk more about it, but he still has the responsibility of trying to talk me down from the ledge. I'm hoping that procrastinating long enough will get me through transition.

terpsfan · May 2011

There definitely came a point in both of my natural births (2) where I thought and said "I can't do this anymore" but getting pain meds honestly never entered my state of mind at that point...It was more like ok, I'm done with this labor stuff thanks. I was in transition and pushing was indeed right around the corner. At that point nobody offered any meds, they gave more of a "you are almost done! and yes you can do this because you already are!" cheering sort of thing.

Before going into labor, DH and I had a code word that we'd use if I indeed wanted to get pain meds..."asparagus". Never had to use it and honestly it never, ever, entered my mind when in labor TO get them...I have no idea why.

ETA: I think also that I didn't consider pain meds was although labor was very painful to me, I wanted it to be OVER sooner and I connected getting an epidural and such a path to prolonging the process. So my state of mind was more like I'm so done and over doing this labor stuff but I pushed on knowing that the end would be sooner than later. For me, getting the epidural would prolong my "end" in my mind. But I'm one to just rip that bandaid off...

superned · May 2011

I was pretty much unable to talk during transition, never mind scream. Stick out tongue

Everyone is different, but for me, the drugs were never an option (provided, of course, that my labor was progressing with no complications). It literally never occurred to me to ask for any.

DH did a wonderful job of supporting me (even though I could tell he was going out of his mind with worry!) and I just sat in the shower and let it happen. It was very much like an out-of-body experience for me. I did cry a little, I think, but I never screamed.

KidsRN · May 2011

ArmyQM:
Many women, when going through transition, start to doubt their abilities which may lead to asking for pain relief but not always. With my first I got to 7 cm, hit transition and gave in to the epidural. Determination (and education) the second time let me go the entire birth without the thought of pain relief and doubt never entered my mind even once. The thing about it is that it's ok if you do start to doubt yourself or start questioning the path you're on as long as you have the labor support in place to remind you of your goals or why you chose the path you did.

this....very well said (or written!)

CheriCO · May 2011

I progressed very quickly once we got to the hospital - from 3cm to 10cm with an anterior lip in less than 2hrs. At one point during transition, I said to DH "I don't think I can do this anymore" (contrax on top of one another with no break between). Fortunately, he recognized (from our Bradley classes) that I must be in transition, so he was able to talk me through one contraction at a time. I didn't scream at all during labor. I made a lot of noise during pushing, but otherwise, was very quiet.

StefandTodd · May 2011

Yep, in Bradley classes they've taught us that the "I give up, can't do this, need drugs!" point is generally transition. It's something we all talked a lot about, specifically with our H's and something we expect our doula to understand and anticipate. I'm not worried about me asking b/c I believe my H will know what to say to help me realize what point I'm at, what our goals are, and what I already know, deep down, I'm capable of.

kaeti_su · May 2011

I did not scream for drugs. However, when I arrived at the hospital after 3 hours of labor, I do remember thinking before my internal check, "Okay, if I'm only at, like, a 4, I might have to get the epidural. I don't know if I can keep doing this." It turned out that I was at 9 cm, so I was obviously in transition and no wonder I was doubting myself.

I had a plan in place in case I did want to ask for drugs, though-- I told my husband that I wanted him to remind me of why I didn't want any, which for me was because I wanted to be able to continue to be mobile in order to move the baby down and out as effectively and efficiently as possible.

eli_and_jeff · May 2011

Everything that I've read would back that up. Right before you get to start pushing, it's supposed to be incredibly painful. Luckily, you get to start pushing

nosoup4u · May 2011

I definitely screamed, but not for drugs, ha ha ha.

I never really reached a point where I wanted an epidural either time. I do remember a point with DS1 that I felt like I just couldn't deal with another contraction (it had to have been transition), but it never occured to me at the time that drugs would make things better. And once I started pushing with him, I wasn't thinking about anything but having him come out (though his birth was via c-section, so I did get an epidural in the end). DS2's birth was faster, and I was familiar with how it was going to feel, so it was easier to deal with in general.

LindseyJW · May 2011

this is a hallmark of labor. it occurs at the end of labor as mom is nearing completion and her body is getting ready to birth. often accompanied by a change in surge pattern (increase in frequency, length and intensity), "transition" may be marked by feelings of wanting to leave, stop, quit, get "the drugs," go to sleep, panic, intense fear and disbelief.

usually when a mom begins to feel this way, it is an indication that the thinning and opening phase of her labor is coming/has come to an end and the birthing phase is about to begin. sometimes mom recognizes the hallmark behaviors, but often she does not. it is important for birth companions and caregivers to recognize and tell mom that this means her baby is almost ready to come. mom usually gets a rush of energy once this has passed.

it is comparable to an athlete, a runner, who has just a bit left to go. by pushing yourself just a little to get over the hurdle, you can finish the race with a second wind.

my first birth was a bradley birth that ended in c/s. i never hit transition, despite laboring for more 40hrs, the last 8 of them fully dilated and "pushing." my second birth was much shorter, only 7hrs, and i was shocked when i started feeling some of these hallmarks b/c i was prepared for another marathon labor.

Mrs.Greeko · May 2011

With my first I thought very briefly before we left the house that I might not be able to do this and maybe I would want an epi at the hospital. I was in transition. I never once screamed. In fact I didn't really make that much noise at all. Apparently the women next door to me (who had an epi) was screaming a lot. I was too focused inward that I didn't hear her, but DH and the nurses were commenting on it.

With my second when I started pushing I said "I can't do this." But I said it, there was no screaming. Then I reminded myself that I could do this and everytime I pushed I just repeated "I CAN do this!" over and over again. There was no screaming, but I definitely made more noise with that labor (it was quicker and a bit more intense), but it was more groaning sort of.

The point where you think you can't do it anymore marks the point when you are almost done, so while you might not scream for drugs you will probably think you can't do it in transition. It's a sign of transition.

sschwege · May 2011

Every experience is different. When I was in transition I remember having this thought twice, "I understand why women get epis." But I was never tempted to get one. Screaming would not have been helpful to me, so I didn't do that. But I did a low hum during the contractions and that seemed to help a lot. My MIL says I sang through my labor

I know what a stubborn person I can be and I warned my husband that if I asked for an epi he was not to talk me out of it (kind of opposite of what most girls want). But for me I think knowing that if I uttered the "E" word it would become a reality was enough to keep me quiet.

BakerMommy · May 2011

I think "screaming" for drugs for many moms means "this hurts and I want it to stop"--a completely natural response, not necessarily "stab me in the back right now". I totally agree with PP that it could be that mom is in transition or needs someone to tell her she can do it.

papagena · May 2011

There was one point where I calmly told DH in the privacy of our bathroom at home that there was a chance that I *would* want drugs, but after that passed, I didn't even think about asking for them again. I definitely didn't scream it out at any point.

iris427 · May 2011

I never screamed for them, but I did think "OMG what was I thinking? I need drugs!" But this was during transition and once I started pushing, those thoughts totally went away.

ashg8r · May 2011

sschwege:
Every experience is different. When I was in transition I remember having this thought twice, "I understand why women get epis." But I was never tempted to get one. Screaming would not have been helpful to me, so I didn't do that. But I did a low hum during the contractions and that seemed to help a lot. My MIL says I sang through my labor
I know what a stubborn person I can be and I warned my husband that if I asked for an epi he was not to talk me out of it (kind of opposite of what most girls want). But for me I think knowing that if I uttered the "E" word it would become a reality was enough to keep me quiet.

LOL, I had this EXACT same thought! A few days after the labor DH was telling me how amazing I did, how calm and quiet, but then right towards the end I I was mumbling/moaning "Oh, ***" when a new contraction started - which I do not remember doing!

Irisheyes1247 · May 2011

kaeti_su:

I did not scream for drugs. However, when I arrived at the hospital after 3 hours of labor, I do remember thinking before my internal check, "Okay, if I'm only at, like, a 4, I might have to get the epidural. I don't know if I can keep doing this." It turned out that I was at 9 cm, so I was obviously in transition and no wonder I was doubting myself.

I had a plan in place in case I did want to ask for drugs, though-- I told my husband that I wanted him to remind me of why I didn't want any, which for me was because I wanted to be able to continue to be mobile in order to move the baby down and out as effectively and efficiently as possible.

This, except we were only at the Dr office, since my contrax didn't hit a rythym until we got in the car on the way there. I didn't know, I'd never had a baby before! When the dr checked, I was at a 10 and she could see the baby's hair! and there I was, thinking I was wussing out.

WannaBeCrunchyMama · May 2011

I begged for them at one point (probably transition)

There was certainly no screaming though.

Until I started pushing. But even then I wasn't screaming in pain, it was just such hard work that I was beingreally noisy

abell77 · May 2011

I screamed alot, yes. But not for drugs. I did say things like, "I don't think I can do this, I need this to be over, I'm not getting a break", etc. But I never asked for drugs or thought about asking for them. I don't know if that was just me, because I had great hospital staff that never brought it up, or the bradley classes that helped dh and I prepare.

11kacey · May 2011

Okay I'm a soon to be first time mom and I am using hypnobirthing which has actually really helped me so far in just general aspects of my life. Anyway, what I want to know is how long after transition before you start to push.. ten minutes? an hour? I am the type of person that needs to know all the details before I do something.. like I can't watch a horror movie unless you tell me EVERYTHING about it so I can prepare myself.

I have been telling myself that (and I know this is erroneous) after I get to a 7 it's too late to get an epidural and I'll just have to make it through. (our birthing instructor is a former labor and delivery nurse and said that you could get one at a 7, but by 9cm it wouldn't take affect until you were pushing and it wouldn't be worth it).

thoughts?

StacieJane · May 2011

I did not scream, at any point, ever. I moaned a lot, and I remember thinking about asking for drugs, but I never did. "Screaming for drugs" is certainly not the inevitable.

FyshWyfe · May 2011

I never screamed at all. I cried once, when I got checked after 12 hours and was still at 2 cm. I asked Jesus to have mercy on my, cried into my DH's chest, and then got back to work. I did ask for drugs once, but it was spoken in a normal tone, "I want to talk about Nubain." Also, I never grabbed my DH in a way that hurt him, never squeezed his hands, or any of those other things you see in movies.

NeverEnoughTime · May 2011

I begged and begged for drugs. Luckily I was very clear with my MW and my husband for months beforehand that I wanted a med free birth. At the time (and right after) I was angry with both for not giving me what I asked for. But once everything calmed down I realized they actually honoured my wishes and it must have been hard for them to do that (especially my husband).

Jinsy80 · May 2011

I had narcotics (Nubain) with DD1. I begged for more when it wore off, but I was already pushing. DD2 was completely natural because we didn't get there in time. I begged for drugs, they gave me oxygen instead. I never, ever screamed for an epidural though.

reticent · May 2011

abell77:
I screamed alot, yes. But not for drugs. I did say things like, "I don't think I can do this, I need this to be over, I'm not getting a break", etc. But I never asked for drugs or thought about asking for them. I don't know if that was just me, because I had great hospital staff that never brought it up, or the bradley classes that helped dh and I prepare.

Thanks for posting this. I've been "beating myself up" about my labor experience this week because I DID scream at one point, and I did say I can't do this several times. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one. I DID think how nice it would be to have an epidural at that point, but I didn't ask for one. I had a wonderful student midwife who got right in my face and talked me through each contraction at that point, while my husband kept reassuring me that I COULD do it. I think the support team really helps immensely.

barnwife · May 2011

I had a homebirth. I had horrendous back labor. Eventually I stood up and told my midwife "that's it. I can't do this anymore. Take me to the hospital. I want relief!"

Thankfully, she suggested she check how far along I was (that hadn't been done at all yet). I was 10 cm dilated and ready to push!

So, yes it happened to me. But every labor/delivery is different. Having a good support system is crucial, imo.

Cotton · May 2011

margeincharge2:
I've been told that a lot of natural birth moms say or think this at some point during labor. It is one of the reasons my doula recommended having a "safe word" to use when I "really" meant I wanted drugs versus something I might say during labor.

This is what my husband and I did. The word for when I really meant I wanted the drugs was something I would never otherwise say during labor (nickname for DH's first dog!) And then I was free to yell how much it hurt and how I was ready to quit or anything and he would know it didn't really mean anything. It was really hard for him to see me in pain, but we had a plan and he knew I couldn't do it without him so he was as supportive as can be! It was awesome!

Elizabeth

shellycollelo · May 2011

Thanks everyone for your different perspectives and stories! Very informative!

I feel more prepared now for transition now, at least in having an idea of what to expect and then knowing pushing will be following soon after!

tokenhoser · May 2011

I never mentioned drugs.

Of course, they weren't an option. I stayed home too long, and when I got there, it was babytime. I would have probably done some nitrous oxide if I could have during transition.

wnk1029 · May 2011

Since I gave birth at home, drugs weren't an option, which kind of put them out of my mind entirely. There were definitely points where I doubted myself and my ability to continue on, but at that point, it was more of a "wishing all this hard work would be over already" rather than wishing for drugs.

Tea_Time · May 2011

I never once asked for drugs (or wanted them) but towards the end I did say "oh God no" a few times and my husband asked if I needed anything to help take the pain away to which I replied "no" in a surprised way.

Daisharain · May 2011

I have such long labors I just get so tired, and tired of the pain I ended up getting pain relief. I always wanted to do it all drug-free, like my mom with all her births, but it took me 32 hrs the first time and 28 the second to have a baby. 15 hours just to get from 2-5cm and another 10 hours to get from 5-8cm which during that time I usually give in...but then I think it slows me down..because its another 4 plus hours before the kid makes its entrance to the world.

I love reading the storied on here, and gives me hope that maybe this, being my last time having a baby, that I will have the strenght, courage, determination to go through it without pain relief.

cfitz16 · May 2011

chillyupnorth:
As PP said, I have heard that when you are at the point of screaming for drugs, pushing is right around the corner. I also read about using procrastination as a tool. Since DH and I both excel at procrastinating , we're going to use that method. Basically when I feel ready for drugs, I'll tell him that if I ask again in 30 minutes, then we can talk more about it, but he still has the responsibility of trying to talk me down from the ledge. I'm hoping that procrastinating long enough will get me through transition.

I did at 9.5 cm. The Dr. used procrastination and then it was time....

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