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November 2011 Moms
inappropriate questions
I have found that when people find out I am pregnant they tend to ask so many inappropriate questions and it really bothers me, any one else having this??? for example
were you trying? are you happy? are you going to get married now?
I find these so annoying, obviously if I didn't plan an alternate route then I am happy, does it really matter if we were trying or not and seriously what difference will it make if Im married.
ok whew vent over! anyone else feel this way???
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Re: inappropriate questions
We were asked something similar. "This is a good thing, right?" Yes. My husband of nearly 3 years whom I've been with for nearly 8 years and I love dearly and I are starting a family. On what planet is that a bad thing? And even if it was, would you expect me to turn this pregnancy announcement into a therapy session with you? *scratches head*
I am shocked that the majority of people we have told have asked "were you trying?" I even had a pregnant friend ask me yesterday "did you have to try for long?" WTF?!?!?!?!?! (she got pg. by "accident", we had been trying for a year...this just made her question sting)
Some people have no idea what others have to go through to get pregnant and I find these questions so rude and invasive!!
It took us so long to get PG that no one has said anything like that to us. The only semi-inappropriate things people have said are how inconvenient it is for them that we are waiting until the baby is born to find out if it's a boy or girl.
I have been making a list of stupid things said. The top 3:
3. Didn't you want to enjoy being married first before having kids? (My aunt)?
2. You know, they have birth control to prevent these kind of accidents. (Co-worker)
And, the best one yet:
1. Mrs Amy you're pregnant! Is your husband the father? (a 12 year old at work).?
I don't know. I gather that when people see a pregnant woman, their IQs plummet. I just laugh at the people's stupid questions and mutter to myself, loudly enough for them to hear "God, are you stupid or what?" Because, no one is going to slap a pregnant woman.?
This is funny. I get all those questions (besides the married one) especially when we go to church. My husband and I are very young but weve been married for a little over a year and have been dating since middle school, we just knew,we never wanted anything/anyone else and weve never been happier. I guess coming from a conservative family (both of us) everyone thinks this is such an unfortunate accident lol...I tell everyone- it was meant to happen, Im happy. No we didnt friggin plan it but does that matter? There is another couple we know our age that got married a month before us and they were asking if we were trying- thats none of your dumb business. And the birth control- people have asked me that too- why werent you on birth control!?--- um, im not gonna explain my life to you cause your nosey
. The whole schpeel is long anyways, blood clots run in my family and BC causes blood to clot and my doctor said it was very risky for me to even try it. *sigh*... people I love it. and the list- I think I may start that. Im keeping a written journal of the pregnancy for my child (which I think Ill write the list of dumb questions in there) that way if I have a girl she can expect what is to come and if I have a boy- have fun, give it to your wife and know what to say when these things happen lol.
you are definitely not alone in feeling that way! but i've realized, if its not one inappropriate question its another.
H and i were together for 3 years before we got engaged. all i heard, "when are you two going to get engaged?" once engaged, "why haven't you gotten married yet? cold feet? when are you going to hurry up and tie the knot?" we were engaged for 18mos before we got married. i wanted to to wait until i was closer to graduating college. no sooner than we're back from our honeymoon, "when are you going to have kids? are you on birth control? you better hurry, you aren't getting any younger!" i was 22.
as soon as we told people i was pregnant i got, "were you trying? is this an accident? are you happy? this is a good thing, right?" all completely inappropriate.
and if its not the inappropriate questions its the inappropriate touching of my belly! i gave up on being polite.. when i'm asked an inappropriate question i try to think of the most inappropriate response or at least something i know will make them very uncomfortable. the look of death no longer works when unwelcome people touch my belly, so i've resorted to biting their heads off or warning them as soon as they walk up to me.. "touch me and die", said with a smile of course
I agree. I think everyone we've told (literally, everyone) has asked 'were you trying', and I WISH I had some snappy comeback, because it's getting really irritating. For some reason, because no one "knew" we were thinking about kids, they're all completely *shocked* by a pregnancy! Since when do you have to give a heads-up!?
Annnddd that made me spit milk EVERYWHERE! ROFL
I would respond with, "Every single day and it was FUN!"