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August 2011 Moms
Team Pink Check-In!
Hi ladies - I have a lot of catching up to do. I've been off the internet since last Wednesday while we were in Florida. (But, I guess technically the 5 loads of laundry and grocery shopping need to be started first, huh?)
Hope everyone is having a great week and feeling great. Let's talk about right after delivery...do you want visitors in the hospital? What about when you first arrive home? Is anyone staying with you once you get home?
Have a great day!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Team Pink Check-In!
Hope you had a great trip!
Visitors in the hospital are going to be an issue - when my SIL had my niece in February everyone in MH's family was there all freaking day. I'm talking about 20 people. Uh uh. Not happening. Maybe our moms and my SILs can be there before the baby comes. The next day I don't care so much.
No one will be staying with us when we get home but my MIL lives about 5 minutes away and my mom has offered to take a couple of vacation days to help out.
My Blog - Taking You Home
Very jealous about Florida!!!! Not so much about the laundry
If my son was any indictation, I am expecting a TON of visitors at the hospital after LO is born. I'm sure that my parents, in laws and sisters/brothers will be there. On top of that, I'm a nurse in the residency program at the hospital I'm delievering at and I assume plenty of the 32 doctors I work closely with will stop in to see me/LO. DH is planning on taking a week off of work. I am unsure if I will ask my mom to spend the first few nights DH is back to work with me(he works 3rd shift). I will see how the first few days go while he is still at home. Both my parents and in laws live within 5 minutes of us so someone could be over to help at anytime.
i don't mind visitors in the hospital AFTER the baby is born. but while i'm in labor (if i'm in pain esp.) i don't want anyone but dh around, and well ds depending on who we have watching him.
as for when we come home from the hospital, unfortunately, we will have people staying with us. not sure if it will be just my parents, or just the inlaws, or BOTH.
i'm hoping to just have my parents here and have the inlaws come down a few days later but i don't know how well that's going to pan out bc god forbid they have to work around someone else and not get to do what they want ALL.THE.TIME.
needless to say, regardless of who's here, it's going to be a very crowded house for some time. i'll be grateful for the help, but i wish it could be like it was when we had ds where we got to really spend some time alone to bond as a family.
I really would like to not have many visitors right after baby is born, but I also know I'm not really in control of that either. If people show up, what can I do? Most of our friends know to wait until the next day or two, but I'm sure we'll have a ton of family milling around
I would rather have people at the hospital, and then come home to a quiet, clean house!
I think my mom is staying with us for a little while after we get home from the hospital, but my dad has offered to stay also (they both live far away). My dad has said he's going to finish our basement for us during that time, but I'm not sure if I want banging around with a newborn and me trying to get any sleep I can!
I don't mind vistors at the hospital after the baby is born. I'm the first out of our close group of friends to have a baby so I know all my girlfriends will be at the hospital at some point during our stay. My husband and mom will be the only ones allowed in during the delivery though.
At home, I told everyone they can come visit, but I would need a phone call before hand. I DO NOT want any unexpected knocks at the door, esp when I'm trying to sleep. I know this will probably be hard to avoid, but I think I gave them all a fair warning just in case i come across as a complete b**** lol DH is taking 2 weeks off once the baby is born and my mom is taking a week off but lives 10 min away so will be in and out to help me.
As for labor My parents and DH parents can come visit as long as I am up for them. Once the actual delivery starts, only DH will be in the room. I tried explaining this to my mom and she is not thrilled, but I know that ultimately it's my decision. I want to bond with DH and our LO alone a least for a few minutes. Hospital visitors are welcomed and since it's in the summer and I have a lot of teacher friends, I'm sure they will come.
Once at home, I told my mom to give me and DH a couple of nights with the baby and then I would like her to come. DH is getting a week or two off which is great, but I know my mom will be helpful with cooking and cleaning for me. I just hope that she knows that is what I need her there for. Of course, if I have any baby questions I will rely on her, but DH and I will be on baby duty. Sometimes I think she believes that we will "need" her for LO. I don't think that will be the case.
This I haven't even thought about until last night at my breastfeeding class at the hospital.
The lactation nurse explained that within one hour of delivery is the perfect time to bond skin to skin contact with baby and try to nurse. So she highly encouraged no visitors during that time to ensure I'm comfortable with everything before visitors show up. She mentioned how she is a grandma to a 1 year old and meeting your grandchild 5 hours after birth or immediately after birth has the same excitement to a third party (grandma, cousin, etc). But you'll never get that one hour (where they are super awake and just looking at the world) back if you have a ton of visitors. Babies go into a sleepy state after the initial hour or so and that's when visitors should come! I think I will take her advice and call the rest of my family when I am ready for them. Maybe I'll have her early in the morning when visiting hours are not in motion yet!
)
I have had a difficult pregnancy with my hyperemesis that could last right up until delivery. My husband and I have already discussed the visiting plan and he is basically leaving it up to me. During labor people can be at the hospital but they won't be guaranteed to be in the room with me. It really depends on how I am feeling.
During labor it will be hospital staff, my husband, and me. The only other possible person in the room will be my sister but just because she is a photographer and offered to do our birth photography for us. After delivery I want some time to bond with just the three of us and be able to start breastfeeding.
The day we go home we will not have anyone there. I want to relax and give us time to get settled. Also we have a dog and a cat and I don't want the extra commotion of extra people while they are getting adjusted to the baby too. No one will be staying with us at our house. The majority of our families live very close to us so that isn't necessary. Even if they lived far away I wouldn't have anyone staying with us. My little sister lives about 15 hours away and will be visiting after the baby is born but will be staying with my parents.
It will be my SO and doctor for the delivery. And we will be calling the grandparents and godparents to come and see the baby in the hospital. Everyone else will be waiting until we get home and I can feel more relaxed and comfortable in my own place.
My SO is taking 2 weeks of work to help me get into a schedule with our dogs and the baby and then my mom is taking a week off after that to spend days with me so I don't get lonely. But nobody is staying at our apartment. With myself, SO, 2 dogs and a then a baby I think we will be crowded enough!
Welcome back Jen!
I'm so glad you asked this question...I've been meaning to discuss it with you girls!
I think DH and I agreed that we will only let my mom & dad and MIL and step-FIL know when we're headed to the hospital. And even then, they will be under strict orders to stay home until baby girl is here. I'm not trying to be mean, or selfish but I just don't want everyone rushing in once she's here when DH and I are just getting acquainted with her and I'm trying to learn to breastfeed. Both sets live 20 minutes from the hospital, so I'm sure they'll be there quite quickly after we give them the go-ahead to come up and meet baby girl.
Now the other issue I'm having is extended family. Right now I'm thinking we'll just have our extended families come over once we're home from the hospital, when it's convenient for us. I don't know, we'll see. The last thing I want is a circus in the hospital or at our house after baby girl is born, and I can see that happening VERY easily with my family.
As for help once we're home, my parents live 2 minutes away, and MIL lives 10, right now we're not planning on either of them staying with us, but I'm sure they'll be over all the time helping us out.
Well DH and I made the decision last night to move home to Chicago. So after delivery it's looking like its going to be just like when I had DD. We're going to stay with my parents while we're looking for a job for DH and a place to live. My sister lives with my parents so she'll be there, also. ILs live about 10 min away from my parents so they'll be around a lot too.
I'm excited because I know Brooke will be in good hands when we go to the hospital, that I'll have support again, and I miss my family.
I'm slightly upset because I feel like everytime DH and I take 1 step forward, we take 2 steps back. When I got pregnant with DD we lived with my parents for a few months, then found a house and rented for 2 years. When that lease was up we moved in with ILs because DH was on the hunt for a job and we were planning on moving out of state. We move out of state, DH loses this job and we have to move back home with my parents til we find ANOTHER place to live. All written out it doesn't seem that bad and I'm lucky to have such a great support system, but I can't help but feel a little like a failure.
Edit: I didn't even mention anything about Hospital visits. I'm sure I'm going to have a hard time keeping people at home because its going to be in the summertime and everyone is going to be available. MIL slept in the waiting room for 15 hours when I was in labor with DD. I'm just going to limit the amount of people allowed in the room while I'm in labor. After the baby is born everyone can come visit in the room!
Somehow I always miss the team check ins, so I am glad I saw this one today.
After I give birth, I would be up for some visitors in the hospital assuming everything is ok and I feel alright. My parents will probably drive in to town the minute I call them and say we are going to the hospital. LOL. During labor, I think I only want DH and the hospital staff in the room. I don't need an audience for that! After we get home, I hope to have visitors. I am going to be explicit though about the fact that I won't be cooking for them etc.
During labor I said that I am fine with my dad, sisters, and MIL in the room. But as soon as there is any delivery talk everyone is out other than my H. I also want them to leave for any exams...
After the baby is born I will be doing skin to skin until she feeds for the first time. Sooooo no one will be able to come back in until after that. It made me so happy that my hospital offered that so that I didn't have to tell people they couldn't come in right away. This way they can't because I will be totally exposed! But after we are all cleaned up I am open to any visitors.
When we go home no one is staying with us. I am fine with visitors during the day (when my H goes back to work especially) but night times will be for family bonding.
It's only going to be DH and the medical staff in the delivery room.
I'm sure my parents will be anxiously awaiting in the waiting room for the baby. I'm not sure how soon I'm going to want visitors after she is born. I'm sure I'm going to want some alone time before visitors will be allowed in the room.
I don't really want anyone here at home with us once the baby is here. I'm sure me and DH will be able to handle it. If I need to I can call my mom over. I know my MIL is going to want to come out here to visit, but I'm not really wanting her to fly out here right away. I'm not going to feel like entertaining or anything for quite a while.
Basically, I'm going to want to be left alone until the time is right, then everyone is welcome to visit and enjoy the baby.
At the hospital: I would prefer only DH, but seeing in which all our friends and family lives a planes ride away i'm not sure we are going to have to worry about it.
First arrive home: Same situation.
Within a few days my parents plan on flying out for a week, then a few weeks later DH's parents for a few weeks. I've already made it obvious that i'm putting them to work, lol.
Ha! This.
This is great advice! Thanks
My Blog - Taking You Home
1) Do I want visitors? Absolutely! I have to be there for 4 days, so I welcome people to come chat with me.
2) Visitors when I first arrive home? My immediate family can come see me right when I get home, but I would prefer my friends and other acquaintances to wait until about 2 weeks postpartum.
3) Anyone staying with me? Not sleeping here no....but my mom and MIL will be coming by daily for the first week to help clean, cook and take care of the baby so I can recover from surgery.
We don't want any visitors until after LO is here (we'll call when she's born) and then that'll be limited to immediate family and close friends.
No one will be staying with us, but mom and MIL are both local so I imagine they'll be in and out helping out.