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Pregnant after a Loss
mags507
member
Intro & a question about coping w/ anxiety
mags507
member
I haven't put up a ticker yet but I'm 5w6d today. As you can see from my siggy, I had 2 miscarriages after my DD was born. The most recent was the worst. We saw a heartbeat at 7 weeks then at the NT scan at 11 weeks there was no heartbeat. The baby had stopped growing at around 9 weeks apparently. My first ultrasound for this pregnancy is next week, right at 7 weeks again.
--I'm worried there will be no heartbeat
--Even if there is a heartbeat, I will still be worried that it could just "go away" at any time and I will have no idea.
--I had to have a D&C w/ the last m/c and I also had a RPL panel done. Everything w/ the baby's chromosomes and my bloodwork was stone cold normal. I have no reason for the last loss so I have nothing specific to worry about or test for. I'm worried about every possible cause of miscarriage.
--The "today I am pregnant and ..." mantra isn't working right now b/c of my history of having lost the baby but not knowing for 2 weeks.
I need coping strategies for all of this anxiety. I thought this might be asked frequently on this board so I looked back about 3-4 pages but couldn't find anything.
Thanks so much for any help offered!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Intro & a question about coping w/ anxiety
I don't know if I'm going to be much help on coping strategies, but my story is so similar to yours. I saw the heartbeat with my second and third pregnancies (after having a successful pregnancy), and both of those ended in a loss.
The only thing that helped me (but I know doesn't sound very helpful) was knowing that there was nothing I could do either way. My doctor told me if it was going to be a healthy pregnancy, I couldn't do anything to stop it. If it was going to end in m/c, there was nothing I could do change that either.
Does your doctor have you doing anything preventative? Even though everything came back normal for me, he put me on baby aspirin, progesterone and extra folic acid. A lot of girls here are on the same. Everything is going well so far.
I know it's frustrating and nervewracking. The first 14 weeks seemed like 14 years to me, especially in between every ultrasound. I had myself convinced I was just waiting for the worst to happen. Nobody will blame you for being pessimistic. None of this helps with your anxiety at all, except maybe to know that you're not the only one. Just take care of yourself and good luck. Congratulations!
Both DH and I are "optimistically cautious" with this pregnancy. We've yet to have children and I'm almost 40. I wouldn't say we're anxious, just taking it day by day and that seems to be working. There's no excitement, and we've told VERY few people. Not sure we'll truly be excited until we have a dear, sweet baby in our arms.
It's totally normal and this board is a great place to go for support
Good luck to you!!!
BFP - Ended in m/c - 6/15/10
BFP - Ended in m/c - 1/2/11
BFP! - 4/13/11 - grow baby grow!!
Hello and congrats!
I know how hard the anxiety aspect is because I have suffered from it for a long time. My son passed away when he was a bit over a month old and my mother suffered three miscarriages from something that could be genetic. I worry all the time I will lose this baby or that something will go wrong at birth. You have to find what works for you to calm you fears.
I go to a bereavement group when I am having a really hard time. They do have these for mothers who have miscarried. I find talking and letting out my fears is a good release especially with others who understand.
I do some yoga/breathing exercises to my relaxation CD.
Blogging and coming on here to let everything out with ladies who won't judge you is comforting as well.
I am also looking into an anxiety specialist right now since I won't take medication while pregnant.
I hope you find what will help you find some peace. I still have anxiety almost all the time but I just try to work through it the best I can. Good luck to you.
m/c 12/25/09 (5w5d) mm/c D&C 4/9/10 (11w1d) Take home baby 2/22/11
My boobies belong to cour10e
I am so sorry for your losses. I wish there was something that one of us could say that would take away the anxiety, but I know there isn't.
Just know that you have a ton of ladies on here rooting for you and that little one you are growing today! I wish you the best!
I'm sorry for your losses. I think all the other girls have given you great advice and I agree with them.
I'm in the same boat myself. My 1st pregnancy was normal, no complications and now I have an almost 3 year old ds. We've been trying for #2 since January 2010 and had 2 losses, one was very early but the second one was a missed miscarriage. We saw a heartbeat at 6 wks and 10 wks but when I went to the NT scan at 13 wks, we saw no heartbeat and the baby had stopped growing at 10 wks.
I'm just trying to take this pregnancy day by day as much as possible. I know that every blood draw I have and every u/s I have will be very nerve racking, there is probably nothing I can do to stop that. The NT will be the worst anxiety (for both of us I'm sure).
I also had a RLP done and dh and I had genetic testing on ourselves and I had a hysteroscopy to check for any possible problems. Everything came back normal but like a pp said, I was put on baby aspirin and progesterone supplements as a precaution. My dr is taking every possible precaution he can to hopefully give us a good outcome in the end. Having someone like that on my side really does give me some feelings of hope.
Thanks for all the replies. It helped just to write this post and unload all those fears. I'll probably stick around b/c it does help to talk with other women who've been through the same thing.