VENT - Why do people IRL even care if I do natural or epidural?

KYBABY2011 · May 2011

Other than ladies on the bump, because it's something that's discussed. At 35 weeks, I am completely sick of family and friends asking if I am doing an epidural or natural. What business is it of yours?? It is my and DH's child and our decision.

Anyone else frustrated by this?

supermom83 · May 2011

Didn't you get the memo that came with your positive pregnancy test that informed you how your vagina, boobs, body and everything to do with your pregnancy suddenly becomes everybody's business?

The breastfeeding/dilating questions are even more fun to talk about!

vigurl · May 2011

That is annoying but it does not bother me as much as those who ask if I plan to breast feed. Really?! Do you realize you are asking me about what I plan to do with my boobs? Seriously would you like me to ask you about your boobs!

SarahP15 · May 2011

For some reason people are just naturally curious when it comes to pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum things. These types of questions do not bother me in the least because I am confident in the choices that I have made thus far and will continue to make for our LO.

IdigDirt · May 2011

Why do people get so heated about what you do with your body? If they care so much they should have their own children. No matter what you say they will have a strong opinion on why you should or shouldn't. I just say "we will see when the time comes" because I don't want to deal with people's opinions but they give it anyways. The BFing one annoys me too, my friend's DH asks every time I see him and when I say yes he says "good because you would be a bad mother if you didn't" Who the hell are you to say that to me? Also a person came into my work (from an outside company) to fix computers turns out his wife is pregnant too and he asks in front of all my coworkers if I was going to BF, that was very uncomfortable.

kimbo1216 · May 2011

I don't care if people ask what my plan is. However, when I say "I'm not sure" or let on that I am even thinking about not getting an epi, I get the are you crazy look followed by the "you'll change your mind" or "just wait and see" remarks.

This is what I really want to tell people sometimes: "Yes. I will wait and see. That's exactly why I did not give you an adamant answer about what I'm doing. I want to see what my body can personally handle. I don't care what you did. I don't want to hear your horror story about how much pain you were in or how I might tear. I don't want to hear that you think women who don't get epis are just trying to be martyrs. So just leave me alone. I respected you and your decisions when you had your kid(s), now please respect mine."

mesr · May 2011

i have no idea why some people who are not having babies ask me all the intimate questions i get (e.g., how often do you go to the doctor? how much weight have you gained? are you sleeping on your left side?). i can only hope it's just because they feel obligated to say something given my giant belly.

my new german teacher (who has a 17-month-old) last week asked me if i planned to breastfeed. i answered that i had nursed my daughter for 25 months and i hoped to repeat that with the second kid. her eyes got very wide. not the answer she was expecting!

helenejr · May 2011

omg yes!!!!

My uncle is an anthestist so he does loads of epis every day at work, when DH and i were on vacation a while back all he wanted to talk about was the fact i'm opting not to have one and how stupid i am..... i told him i wasn't ruling it out altogether and that i am leaving my options open but my preference was to avoid pain medication if possible - for 4 days he just would not let it go, it drove me crazy - seriously i was so glad when DH decided to leave a day early so i didn't have to listen to it anymore!!!

my brothers and my father are the same - i guess they don't want to know their sister and daughter is in pain, but seriously stop, it's my body and my baby and i'll give birth the way i want to!!!

stormy852 · May 2011

supermom83:
Didn't you get the memo that came with your positive pregnancy test that informed you how your vagina, boobs, body and everything to do with your pregnancy suddenly becomes everybody's business?
The breastfeeding/dilating questions are even more fun to talk about!

Yes

Sazhrah · May 2011

I don't mind if people ask the questions. After all, if I can share my experiences and that helps someone come to their own decisions one way or another when they have their children then that is a good thing. I get teenagers asking me questions all the time. I know they aren't asking to be rude but strictly out of curiosity.

Now, when they start butting in with opinions, then that annoys me.

KYBABY2011 · May 2011

Sazhrah:
I don't mind if people ask the questions. After all, if I can share my experiences and that helps someone come to their own decisions one way or another when they have their children then that is a good thing. I get teenagers asking me questions all the time. I know they aren't asking to be rude but strictly out of curiosity.
Now, when they start butting in with opinions, then that annoys me.

I get that. If I was around any teenagers, I would definitely tell them about pregnancy, probably more than they want to know.

KYBABY2011 · May 2011

supermom83:
Didn't you get the memo that came with your positive pregnancy test that informed you how your vagina, boobs, body and everything to do with your pregnancy suddenly becomes everybody's business?
The breastfeeding/dilating questions are even more fun to talk about!

LOVE THIS!

caruso_60 · May 2011

Nobody has asked me this pregnancy, but with my first it was super annoying. When asked I would tell them that I wanted to go med free and I was breastfeeding. I have a couple of good friends who basically laughed in my face. I got a lot of "just wait" and "good luck with that". I was induced without any pain meds and I BF for about 14 months until I was a couple of months pregnant. Now I get the unsolicited parenting advice because they are apparently experts since they had their children before me.

JrsMommy11 · May 2011

SarahP15:
For some reason people are just naturally curious when it comes to pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum things. These types of questions do not bother me in the least because I am confident in the choices that I have made thus far and will continue to make for our LO.

Yes

Sunidaze · May 2011

This would be at the bottom of the list of questions I'm frustrated by. I actual have a co-worker, whom I am not close with at all (matter of fact, can't stand being too close to her because her perfume reeks) ask me on a regular basis "What's your doctor say?" Really? Why would you think it's any of your business what my doctor says to me.

Sazhrah · May 2011

KYBABY2011:
Sazhrah:

I don't mind if people ask the questions. After all, if I can share my experiences and that helps someone come to their own decisions one way or another when they have their children then that is a good thing. I get teenagers asking me questions all the time. I know they aren't asking to be rude but strictly out of curiosity.

Now, when they start butting in with opinions, then that annoys me.

I get that. If I was around any teenagers, I would definitely tell them about pregnancy, probably more than they want to know.

I do that. I let them know about every single nasty, gross, uncomfortable, painful thing about pregnancy I can.

If someone that I don't wish to know about my pregnancy asks me a question, I do the same thing. LOL

But, the general person. I answer and usually explain why.

kriskros · May 2011

umm a guy at my gym asked me if i was gonna go natural or have an epidural.. I just stared at him in shock that he seriously just asked me that. Friends and Family, ask away, but strangers?? hell no.

SarahinRichmond · May 2011

Yes! Everyone I work with has asked me and then told me what a mistake it is to go natural. Men, women, people with kids, people without kids. They all just keep telling me I should get the epidural and asking me why on earth I wouldn't want one.

northtamarack · May 2011

I'm not frusterated, because I refuse to talk about it. I hate getting the "Oh, good luck with that!" or "You'll change your mind!" or "Just wait and see!" They dont' even listen to my reasons. So, I've stopped. No frusteration.

michaels_lovely · May 2011

stormy852:
supermom83:

Didn't you get the memo that came with your positive pregnancy test that informed you how your vagina, boobs, body and everything to do with your pregnancy suddenly becomes everybody's business?

The breastfeeding/dilating questions are even more fun to talk about!

This. My all time favorite was when an anti-bfing family friend was going on about how my big boys were obviously not some of those "scrawny, nursing babies"...um, yeah they are/were. morons

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