Anyone not tell family yet?

E3A7AGGIE · May 2011

DH and I have yet to let our families (or friends... or anyone, really) in on our joyous little gift.

Originally, we had everything planned out to tell on Mother's Day. Well... then I started bleeding the Wed. before, and then had a U/S on the Thursday before showing no baby. So we decided that we didn't want to be like, "hey guess what!? Y'all were going to be grandparents, but now we're not so sure!"

So then we had that U/S yesterday, that shows a baby & a HB... but I'm still bleeding, and my OB/GYN is still labeling me as "threatened abortion".

ANYWAYS. I just rather tell our families when it's a sure thing. It's going to be the first grandchild on both sides, and I know they're going to be THRILLED!!

Anyone else not tell family yet?? If you have told, did anyone do something creative? I love hearing stories!

thewayiam · May 2011

I'm not telling family until they force it out of me because they can see a 4-5 month belly. I've told a few close friends - people who were incredibly supportive during my loss. But not family. Last time, MIL told her entire extended family without permission. And on both sides - I just don't want their overly-positive "everything will be perfect this time" sort of support. I know that is really negative and pessimistic, but I just don't need it. I am too realistic.

But when they see me in a few months (I'll be avoiding them after about 10 weeks until I'm really showing), they'll be in for a big surprise (hopefully!)

I'm really sorry about your bleeding. That's really stressful. I just wanted to tell you that I bled every day of my first pregnancy, and it had absolutely nothing to do with our loss, which was a genetic abnormality. You have my thoughts and prayers, and I really hope everything is ok.

jho617 · May 2011

We have only told my SIL, and my best friend.

We were also planning on a Mother's Day surprise, but they didn't find the heartbeat on the u/s we had last Thursday. The Dr. said it was likely too soon (I have longer than usual cycles) or it could be a sign of impending m/c. So we decided to wait until our next u/s next Thursday.

Fingers crossed everything goes well on Thursday, and we will give our mom's a wrapped photo of the u/s. Not too creative but I think it's something they'll both want. We are going to tell them it's a Mother's Day present that arrived a little late.

amb0216 · May 2011

I've only told my Mom & best friend. Husband doesn't know yet, as he's still at work. I don't really want a whole lot of people knowing until it's a sure thing, just incase something happens.

ztalady18 · May 2011

We haven't told family yet! It was so hard not to say anything over Mother's Day weekend, but we both agreed that we are going to tell our family Memorial Day weekend because both families will be together at our beach house. We bought two grandparent name books and we are going to give them to our dad's ans say it is an early Father's Day gift (DH and I live 16hrs away by car.) I am so excited to tell... it is going to be hard not to say anything until then! I will be 8weeks when we tell.

E3A7AGGIE · May 2011

jho617:
We have only told my SIL, and my best friend.
We were also planning on a Mother's Day surprise, but they didn't find the heartbeat on the u/s we had last Thursday. The Dr. said it was likely too soon (I have longer than usual cycles) or it could be a sign of impending m/c. So we decided to wait until our next u/s next Thursday.
Fingers crossed everything goes well on Thursday, and we will give our mom's a wrapped photo of the u/s. Not too creative but I think it's something they'll both want. We are going to tell them it's a Mother's Day present that arrived a little late.

You'll be in my T&P!! They didn't find a HB (or a baby!) at my first u/s, and 5 days later at the 2nd one, they found both!! Stay positive!

E3A7AGGIE · May 2011

ztalady18:
We haven't told family yet! It was so hard not to say anything over Mother's Day weekend, but we both agreed that we are going to tell our family Memorial Day weekend because both families will be together at our beach house. We bought two grandparent name books and we are going to give them to our dad's ans say it is an early Father's Day gift (DH and I live 16hrs away by car.) I am so excited to tell... it is going to be hard not to say anything until then! I will be 8weeks when we tell.

Aw, that's cute!!! I haven't heard of a Grandparent Name book!!! I'm going to look into that!

Memorial Day is kind of our idea now, too! We knew during Easter, but had JUST found out that day before, and then of course during Mother's Day. So we have successfully made it through 2 holidays surrounded by a ton of family, and no one has a clue. =P

mrs_kelly1014 · May 2011

We haven't told yet. Untelling was too hard when I m/c, so I at least want to see a heartbeat before telling them.

jho617 · May 2011

E3A7AGGIE:
jho617:
We have only told my SIL, and my best friend.
We were also planning on a Mother's Day surprise, but they didn't find the heartbeat on the u/s we had last Thursday. The Dr. said it was likely too soon (I have longer than usual cycles) or it could be a sign of impending m/c. So we decided to wait until our next u/s next Thursday.
Fingers crossed everything goes well on Thursday, and we will give our mom's a wrapped photo of the u/s. Not too creative but I think it's something they'll both want. We are going to tell them it's a Mother's Day present that arrived a little late.
You'll be in my T&P!! They didn't find a HB (or a baby!) at my first u/s, and 5 days later at the 2nd one, they found both!! Stay positive!

Thanks, I really appreciate the reassurance! And you'll be in my T&P, too. :-)

I'm usually such a worrier, but I am surprisingly optimistic and positive. Thank goodness, or I'd be a wreck just waiting around for next Thursday.

csuperstar02 · May 2011

Our case is similar to yours. I started spotting and bleeding on the Monday before Mother's Day. I had my betas done on Tuesday and Thursday and they were not hot at all, but we decided to tell my family anyway.

I talk to my mom every.day. and I couldn't have lasted much longer. I got a card for my mom and aunt that on the front said "Happy Mother's Day..." and on the inside said "...from one hot momma to another."

My mom wasn't sure, but my aunt started screaming. (I also got her a little stand w/ the changeable number blocks that says ...weeks 'til I'm a Grandma!)

I then told them about the spotting and such and they were all very supportive as I knew they would be. I'll need them through this time either way, so I decided to tell them.

jason&robin · May 2011

We haven't yet. I am not sure when we will see them next. We have a shirt of DD to wear to surprise them so we will probably do it when we see them again. They live close by but I am not sure if we will be seeing them until June.

RN0107 · May 2011

We aren't telling anyone til 12 weeks. We told everyone at 8 weeks with our last pregnancy and it was so hard to "untell" people a week and a half later when we lost the baby. DH's birthday is at the end of June and I'll be 12 weeks then so as long as everything goes OK we are gonna tell our family then.

BritanyV · May 2011

Well I just found out on Sunday but we haven't told family and probably won't for a while because of the 2 losses I had last year. Heck, if I could hide it, I'd just wait and tell them when I bring the baby over to visit them! lol

H4zel Fox 04 · May 2011

Not telling until 2nd trimester.

MrsAMB07 · May 2011

I've only told my chiropractor, because I was wanted to be assured everything he does is safe. At least I get to talk about it with someone.

We'll tell my mom on her birthday in June and try to wait to tell everyone else in our families until Father's Day. We'll tell work around 10 weeks (because it's the end of the school year) and everyone else around 12-13 weeks.

Cinamom · May 2011

We also have not told anyone which is tough, but kind of nice knowing DH and I have this special secret just for us. We will be telling immediate family at 12 weeks which is DH's bday at the end of June.

DEBBIE33CASEY · May 2011

we just told last night!

jenalena · May 2011

So my DH and I decided not to tell ANYONE. But that lasted one day. He was incredibly busy at work, but knew that I was getting test results that day. So when he answered his phone in an office with his good friend/co-worker, he said, "I have to take this, my wife is getting test results today." Naturally... .that's not going to fly, he ended up telling his buddy at work to avoid lying to him.

Then I told my best buddy who has been listening to my infertility counting for the last year. I had to tell her, she would be SO mad if I held out on her since she's been helping me through everything.

Now we're tight lipped .. .both friends are sworn to secrecy & we aren't telling family until 12 weeks. I haven't suffered a loss, but I can't even begin to imagine untelling.

blenderdance · May 2011

Our immediate families and two of my best friends know, but we aren't planning on telling others until 12 weeks. I am going by the philosophy of I can tell the people that I would tell if anything goes wrong...Also, I am terrible at keeping secrets, so we will see how things go.

debrian08 · May 2011

Originally we'd decided we wouldn't tell anyone until the 2nd trimester. Then I got pregnant and we decided we wouldn't be able to wait that long.

We are going to wait until after our first u/s before telling anyone though, so just two more weeks before family knows! We're going to wait a little longer to tell friends, but I don't think we'll make it to 2nd trimester.

AfterAll · May 2011

We did not tell anyone yet. With DS we waited until the NT scan at around 11 weeks. This time, I am having an u/s at 7 weeks, so I am not sure if we will tell then, or at the end of the first tri. Have to see how things go...

E3A7AGGIE · May 2011

thewayiam:
I'm not telling family until they force it out of me because they can see a 4-5 month belly. I've told a few close friends - people who were incredibly supportive during my loss. But not family. Last time, MIL told her entire extended family without permission. And on both sides - I just don't want their overly-positive "everything will be perfect this time" sort of support. I know that is really negative and pessimistic, but I just don't need it. I am too realistic.
But when they see me in a few months (I'll be avoiding them after about 10 weeks until I'm really showing), they'll be in for a big surprise (hopefully!)
I'm really sorry about your bleeding. That's really stressful. I just wanted to tell you that I bled every day of my first pregnancy, and it had absolutely nothing to do with our loss, which was a genetic abnormality. You have my thoughts and prayers, and I really hope everything is ok.

I'm sorry about your MIL!!! I'd be so angry! DH asked, "so who can we tell our parents it's okay to tell?" I was like, "uh, no one right now...". lol. HOPEFULLY our parents can keep their mouths shut! Although we're not telling them for about another week or two anyways!

Thanks for the reassurance!! Since hearing the HB yesterday, I've gotten a little more confident... where as now the bleeding is more of a nuisance than something that is worrying me. But it's, of course, still in the back of mind, and I just can't wait until our next U/S on Monday!

dizzycooks · May 2011

I am aiming for 12 weeks, but my co-workers already know because I am taking it super easy this time around, plus they've been covering for me during my IF appointments and knew about my loss.

As far as family goes, we haven't really talked about it. We told at 7 weeks last time and that was too early. I am hoping to use my thesis paper as an excuse to stay away from people until July at which point I hope to have a nice bump, two ultrasounds and know I've survived the first tri.

shortstuff15 · May 2011

We have only told our parents, not siblings. Because of my miscarriage earlier this spring, we didn't want to tell everybody right away. We'll wait to tell family until at least after 9 weeks.

utilaprincess01 · May 2011

Firs of all, my prayers are with you that this will be a healthy and full pregnancy for you and that you'll be blessed with a perfect LO!

I've only told one really close friend and my mom.
My friend was the only person that knew we were trying and that I'd be testing on 5/5. That morning, I sent her a picture asking if her son would recognize me (he's only a few months old, my godson, and I'd cut about 6inches of my hair off the night before) lol, then I sent her a picture of my 3 HPT's and asked if she thinks her son will be excited about having a godbrother/sister Smile
I decided to tell my mom the night before Mothers' Day, because I didn't think she'd be able to stop herself from slipping up & telling someone if I told her that morning. First, she opened a big surprise gift that my dad had sent for her. Then she opened the cards from my bother and I and the gift that we got her. Then she opened a special card that I'd gotten her. It was from a child and it talked about how great grandmothers are and how lucky he/she was to have my mom as a grandmother. She was in complete shock! She'd stop reading and ask "is this what I think it is?" She finally asked "You're pregnant?" and started screaming when I said yes. I also got her a little book called "The Grandparent's Handbook" or something like that. The best part of it is that I have the whole thing on video...it's just priceless!!!

I really want to wait until 2nd tri to tell mostly everyone else, especially my hubby's family. But I'm starting to think that it might not be possible. I wouldn't mind telling his immediate family if they would respect our wishes and not tell the rest of the world before 12 weeks...but I'm well aware that they won't be able to do that. I'm going to tell him two weeks from now when he comes home from work, but I already know that he doesn't want to wait to tell his family. I know it's unfair for mine to know and not his...but mine will respect what we want to do and his won't. So...we shall see.

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