Feeling frustrated and discouraged...need advice!

Gina1221 · May 2011

I had posted recently about my OBs discouragement of my VBAC because of the baby being estimated to be too big. As of last week, at my 38 week appt., the one OB was very harsh and basically told me I was being irresponsible for continuing to try for a VBAC and she bullied me into scheduling a c/s for this Thurs. According to them I am a very high risk of shoulder dystocia and also uterine rupture due to baby's estimated size and she gave me some very scary scenarios. When I went back yesterday for my 39 week appt, I saw a different OB, who was a little more understanding, but still very disapproving. I told her I wanted to at least go to my due date so we canceled the c/s for this week and rescheduled for next Wed., but I had to sign a special waiver that I am going against their medical advice. Although I have read up on shoulder dystocia and estimated baby weights, their fear tactics are starting to get to me and I'm worrying if I'm doing the right thing. The what ifs are starting to take over my desire to VBAC. But I've been having contractions every day for the last two weeks which has kept me wanting to 'stay in the game' a little longer. At last week's appt., I was 1cm, 50% effaced, and this week I am 2cm, and very soft (she didn't say how effaced and I forgot to ask). I know this really means nothing anyway, but with all the contractions I've been having, I had been feeling really certain that labor would start soon, but now I'm just starting to feel frustrated and hopeless. It just feels like all the odds are stacking up against me and that maybe this wasn't meant to be. I guess I'm just looking for some encouragement and perhaps opinions on whether I should be taking the OBs warnings more seriously and just consider a rcs now. I'm also curious to know if anyone has had a VBAC after being told they have a high risk of shoulder dystocia...TIA for reading this.

lkf041 · May 2011

I haven't vbac'ed but I was persuaded to do a RCS with #2. I really regretted it and wish I would have pushed more to go past my due date. And on a side note my mom pushed me out and I was 11lbs 5oz... not a vabc but still it can be done!

nosoup4u · May 2011

This is a good link to a midwife's blog about shoulder dystocia: https://www.themidwifenextdoor.com/?p=867

The thing about macrosomia is that it can only be diagnosed after birth. Was your first baby really large? Just going past 40 weeks doesn't put someone at risk for shoulder dystocia. Do your OBs have experience with handling shoulder dystocia? It sounds like they are pulling out all the stops to have you do a RCS, which is just shameful on their part if they started out claiming to support VBAC.

It's still not too late to switch providers, though you're about to pop any day now. Think about contacting ICAN of NJ (https://www.icanofnj.com/contactus.htm), because they can help you out in trying to find a new provider who will let you go into labor on your own.

FWIW, I had a successful VBAC with my DS2, who was 10 lb 10 oz and almost 24 in. He was a full 2.5 lbs heavier, and two inches longer than my DS1, whose birth ended in a c-section after many hours of pushing. I didn't have an sizing u/s with DS2, but he was super super late (as in, at least 42 weeks, possibly past that).

ETA: You said that the perinatologist you've seen is fully supportive of VBAC for you, can you get them to talk to your OB? I would think a high-risk doctor would be more conservative with their estimates of what's safe, you know?

Good luck! I really hope it works out for you!!

cchill01 · May 2011

I'm sorry you are going through this. They used that Shoulder Dystocia scare tactic on me with my first, which ended in a c-section. I was 42 weeks and they were saying what a big baby it was going to be. She was only 9lbs 1oz and very long. Lots of Mom's have birthed babies of that size. And from what I understand, it has a lot to do with the baby's positioning, composition (height vs weight), and your pelvis.

I would keep thinking positive thoughts on labor and hopefully you won't have to deal with it.

And don't worry about the disclaimer - that's just a CYA for them. They would have you sign those for everything, if it was up to the legal department.

Obviously, it's your decision, but if you want your VBAC it still seems possible to me.

hailcamp · May 2011

At 35 weeks, my OB estimated my daughter was 7 lbs 4 oz. When I had her via c-section at 39 weeks (for more reasons than just her size), she was just under 7 lbs 4 oz! Their size estimations are not very accurate. Go with your gut on this. If you really start to feel like a c-seciton is the safest method, then do it. Until then, don't let them scare you with estimations and what-ifs. This is YOUR baby, YOUR body, YOUR experience!! Good luck!! Wink

roonarpia+1 · May 2011

hailcamp:
At 35 weeks, my OB estimated my daughter was 7 lbs 4 oz. When I had her via c-section at 39 weeks (for more reasons than just her size), she was just under 7 lbs 4 oz! Their size estimations are not very accurate. Go with your gut on this. If you really start to feel like a c-seciton is the safest method, then do it. Until then, don't let them scare you with estimations and what-ifs. This is YOUR baby, YOUR body, YOUR experience!! Good luck!!

I agree! I think you can do it if you can find the right support!!

Want a personalized experience?

Feeling frustrated and discouraged...need advice!

Re: Feeling frustrated and discouraged...need advice!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards