I think I made a huge mistake.

kerrbear72 · May 2011

I plan for a med-free birth.

Because of the insane amounts of reading I've done and birthing videos I've watched, I pulled a "I don't need to take a birthing class - what are they gong to tell me that I don't already know?" thing. I know everything, ya know?

Despite having previously felt prepared (as much as one can be) for birth, I am in now in total panic mode and convinced I know absolutely nothing.

I'm an idiot.

AnneShirleyBlythe · May 2011

You'll be fine. My 15 year old cousin and a good friend of mine had sons within the last year, neither read a damn thing or went to a single class and ended up with short labors, baby out in less than 15 minutes of pushing. A lot of childbirth is just plain dumb luck.

UndecidedChange · May 2011

I took an overload of birthing classes, read some books, etc.

I still feel unprepared.

My theory is, there's a ton of women that do this without any prep work whatsoever. They do it. So can we.

And admittedly, I honestly feel (wait for it, it's going to sound pedantically awful) prepared after reading so many bump posts, with both the good, the bad and the stupid...

You can do eeeeet!

mellydawn84 · May 2011

Call a doula!

I had always wanted a med-free birth and was able to achieve that with my doulas help. I would have totally given up and got the drugs without her support and guidance. Not saying it's not possible to do it without one, but they are Great to have if you are feeling uneasy. Even being this close to labour, I'm sure you could find one.

Thats just from my own experience, everyone is different and I'm sure you'll do great no matter what!

kerrbear72 · May 2011

AnneShirleyBlythe:
You'll be fine. My 15 year old cousin and a good friend of mine had sons within the last year, neither read a damn thing or went to a single class and ended up with short labors, baby out in less than 15 minutes of pushing. A lot of childbirth is just plain dumb luck.

Which is definitely how I approached this in the beginning. Most of my assumptions were that anything I learned in class would likely go out the window when my pain level hit a 5 anyway.

I think I'm mentally nesting (since cleaning isn't appealing) and freaking myself out over the unknowns.

AnneShirleyBlythe · May 2011

Oh and let me add...I hope you didn't skip the c-section chapters in the reading you did. Even if you never ever need them and the baby falls out while you are at Target next week, they are important. (They go over them in birthing classes usually but of course reading is self-paced and regulated).

kerrbear72 · May 2011

CommonName:
I took an overload of birthing classes, read some books, etc.
I still feel unprepared.
My theory is, there's a ton of women that do this without any prep work whatsoever. They do it. So can we.
And admittedly, I honestly feel (wait for it, it's going to sound pedantically awful) prepared after reading so many bump posts, with both the good, the bad and the stupid...
You can do eeeeet!

The Bump is a blessing and a curse in that way!

alliejoe · May 2011

I did the same thing- read everything under the sun and never took a class. I've panicked a few times, but rereading some of the stuff had made me feel a lot better.

Also, do they have a meet the L&D nurses night between now and EDD? I met some nurses yesterday when I freaked out about IVs and MW took me up there and it really helped put me at ease because I felt like they would "on my side".

It's probably also not too late to find a doula if you are super worried.

kammmmay · May 2011

You are not an idiot. I learned nothing that I hadn't read in my birthing class. You didn't miss out on much. The only think I did enjoy was practicing labor positions with DH. We would all have to hold a handful of ice for 60-90 seconds while trying different things to soothe ourselves. It might be worth trying at home, just to get an idea of what might help you.

I liked standing and swaying, DH sitting in a chair while I sat on my knees in front of him- resting my head on a pillow on his lap, and having him massage my back while sitting on a birthing ball.

kerrbear72 · May 2011

AnneShirleyBlythe:
Oh and let me add...I hope you didn't skip the c-section chapters in the reading you did. Even if you never ever need them and the baby falls out while you are at Target next week, they are important. (They go over them in birthing classes usually but of course reading is self-paced and regulated).

Oh absolutely. I have a condition that could make a c/s a real possibility at the very last second so I've been mentally prepared for that all along. I never wanted to be one of those women that went in thinking a c/s was never an option.

EEM9906 · May 2011

It is completely normal to have that feeling. I had the exact same freak out myself a while back after having thought the same exact things. I talked to a very close friend who has 2 kinds and she told me she also thought the same things and had the same freak out BOTH TIMES! Even after having given birth once...it is definitely natural to feel this way when you don't know what to expect. I keep telling myself, people do this every day...one way or another they will get him out and send him home with me. You will do great!

iris427 · May 2011

You'll be just fine. I took classes both times and honestly, they didn't really have an impact on how I handled labor or how my birth went. Women don't need to be taught how to give birth without drugs; they've been doing it since the dawn of time. Granted, most of them didn't have a choice and it can be hard to go without an epidural when you know it's readily available. But you can do it.

Remember that it's totally normal to think "OMG WTF was I thinking?? I can't do this! Give me the drugs!" And usually when you think that you're in transition and you'll be pushing soon.

kerrbear72 · May 2011

kammmmay:
You are not an idiot. I learned nothing that I hadn't read in my birthing class. You didn't miss out on much. The only think I did enjoy was practicing labor positions with DH. We would all have to hold a handful of ice for 60-90 seconds while trying different things to soothe ourselves. It might be worth trying at home, just to get an idea of what might help you.
I liked standing and swaying, DH sitting in a chair while I sat on my knees in front of him- resting my head on a pillow on his lap, and having him massage my back while sitting on a birthing ball.

I remember your original post about this! I'm glad you brought that up again. While of course ice=/= labor, its definitely good practice for soothing techniques. Thank you!

kerrbear72 · May 2011

iris427:
You'll be just fine. I took classes both times and honestly, they didn't really have an impact on how I handled labor or how my birth went. Women don't need to be taught how to give birth without drugs; they've been doing it since the dawn of time. Granted, most of them didn't have a choice and it can be hard to go without an epidural when you know it's readily available. But you can do it.
Remember that it's totally normal to think "OMG WTF was I thinking?? I can't do this! Give me the drugs!" And usually when you think that you're in transition and you'll be pushing soon.

You're 150% right. I know you are.

I'm clearly just looking for things to panic over now. I'm a total type A, hate surprises, being unprepared, etc. and I'm now freaking myself out over something I previously knew just wasn't for me.

iris427 · May 2011

kerrbear72:
iris427:
You'll be just fine. I took classes both times and honestly, they didn't really have an impact on how I handled labor or how my birth went. Women don't need to be taught how to give birth without drugs; they've been doing it since the dawn of time. Granted, most of them didn't have a choice and it can be hard to go without an epidural when you know it's readily available. But you can do it.
Remember that it's totally normal to think "OMG WTF was I thinking?? I can't do this! Give me the drugs!" And usually when you think that you're in transition and you'll be pushing soon.
You're 150% right. I know you are.
I'm clearly just looking for things to panic over now. I'm a total type A, hate surprises, being unprepared, etc. and I'm now freaking myself out over something I previously knew just wasn't for me.

I'm the same way. I drive my husband crazy because I'm always finding new things to worry about.

You'll do great, however the birth goes

CanuckFan03 · May 2011

I think that we're getting so close, that no matter what we've planned, or how we've prepared - we now feel unprepared.

You'll do fine and you'll get your baby But I feel the same, if it helps you!

heikem87 · May 2011

No matter how many books you read or how many birthing classes you?ll take you can never prepare for the unpredictable

kammmmay · May 2011

kerrbear72:
kammmmay:
You are not an idiot. I learned nothing that I hadn't read in my birthing class. You didn't miss out on much. The only think I did enjoy was practicing labor positions with DH. We would all have to hold a handful of ice for 60-90 seconds while trying different things to soothe ourselves. It might be worth trying at home, just to get an idea of what might help you.
I liked standing and swaying, DH sitting in a chair while I sat on my knees in front of him- resting my head on a pillow on his lap, and having him massage my back while sitting on a birthing ball.
I remember your original post about this! I'm glad you brought that up again. While of course ice=/= labor, its definitely good practice for soothing techniques. Thank you!

I figured the practice would help me remember when I actually went into labor. If not, hopefully DH will remember what to try.

I agree with you ladies about reading up on c/s. It really grosses me out to read about, but since they are so common now, I definitely wanted to know what we'd be getting into if that became a possibility.

Stephcara · May 2011

Just watch a Baby Story and you will be fine. Wink

Listen to your OB and labor nurses, they will help you through and guide you. The hardest thing is trying to predict the unknown and that is what we all do in the end. The first tri, we worry about everything, the 2nd tri, we grow, shop, nest, get nervous/excited and at the end, we FREAK, HA! Classes, books, the bump, friends,etc. cannot fully prepare you. Once you are there, you, yh and your OB will prepare you.

KhloesMom · May 2011

Whatever you choose to do along the way, even if you do a 180 on your initial plans, I hope you have a L&D nurse that is supportive and informative. A good L&D nurse makes ALL the difference in the world in the process. The thing that sucks, you don't really have any choice about who you get, though you can ask for a reassignment if the one you're assigned isn't meshing with you. I lucked out and had 2 amazing ladies the last time and it was a great experience.

billdes21 · May 2011

our bodies know what to do, the best thing to remeber is go in without a lot of fear, trust your body, trust your providers. breath and try to relax your body as much as possiable.

ZTAsunshine · May 2011

I didn't go to one with either of the girls. I asked my doctor about it because the scheduling never fit. He said that the baby comes out regardless- so not to worry about it. He was right.

NeverEnoughTime · May 2011

If it makes you feel any better.. I did all the preparing in the world.. took classes.. read tons of books. It was all out the window when I went into labour. For me, my supportive partner was what got me through. Because I certainly wasn't stretching on my birthing ball or visualizing during my contractions. I was a screaming, crying, psychotic mess. But I got through it, and you will too

KMHC79 · May 2011

The only thing that I found beneficial was the tour of the hospital. I did enough research on my own that I didn't learn a darn thing at pre-natal class.

You're a smart girl and I'm sure you've prepared yourself plenty. Don't be so hard on yourself!

tokenhoser · May 2011

The class was the most useless thing I did. My reading and LLLI meetings were much more useful. Having a doula was great, too, just for the encouragement and the helping DH help me effectively.

As for the "hope you get a good nurse", I couldn't pick mine out of a lineup. I guess she was okay, but honestly, she didn't have a chance to really have any positive or negative impact on me. The nurses in recovery were much more important to my overall experience. Wink I was lucid up there.

kerrbear72 · May 2011

tokenhoser:
The class was the most useless thing I did. My reading and LLLI meetings were much more useful. Having a doula was great, too, just for the encouragement and the helping DH help me effectively.
As for the "hope you get a good nurse", I couldn't pick mine out of a lineup. I guess she was okay, but honestly, she didn't have a chance to really have any positive or negative impact on me. The nurses in recovery were much more important to my overall experience. I was lucid up there.

lol This makes sense to me.

iris427 · May 2011

tokenhoser:
The class was the most useless thing I did. My reading and LLLI meetings were much more useful. Having a doula was great, too, just for the encouragement and the helping DH help me effectively.
As for the "hope you get a good nurse", I couldn't pick mine out of a lineup. I guess she was okay, but honestly, she didn't have a chance to really have any positive or negative impact on me. The nurses in recovery were much more important to my overall experience. I was lucid up there.

I am the opposite--I remember all of my L&D nurses vividly over 2 years later. They were so kind and supportive during a long, tough process. I can't remember the name or face of a single one of my postpartum nurses.

AnneShirleyBlythe · May 2011

iris427:
tokenhoser:
The class was the most useless thing I did. My reading and LLLI meetings were much more useful. Having a doula was great, too, just for the encouragement and the helping DH help me effectively.
As for the "hope you get a good nurse", I couldn't pick mine out of a lineup. I guess she was okay, but honestly, she didn't have a chance to really have any positive or negative impact on me. The nurses in recovery were much more important to my overall experience. I was lucid up there.
I am the opposite--I remember all of my L&D nurses vividly over 2 years later. They were so kind and supportive during a long, tough process. I can't remember the name or face of a single one of my postpartum nurses.

Not me :-) I remember the kind, gentle, very young probably 6 months out of college nurse who spent about 4 hours in the middle of the night the night after Jack was born helping me get him to latch. I don't remember any of the L&D nurses at all.

tokenhoser · May 2011

My postpartum nurse took the time to carry around my vial of antibiotics so it wouldn't burn going in my saline lock, and then had to hang out for about 5 minutes to chat and inject it nice and slowly. She was really busy, but really nice.

I spent my labour with my face in the mattress. I have no idea who was in the room. DH stayed up near my face, mostly, so I remember him. They could have paraded a whole class of med students through and I wouldn't have noticed one bit. Fortunately, I didn't even end up with a resident because there wasn't time to bother.

heysupnatalie · May 2011

AnneShirleyBlythe:
Oh and let me add...I hope you didn't skip the c-section chapters in the reading you did. Even if you never ever need them and the baby falls out while you are at Target next week, they are important. (They go over them in birthing classes usually but of course reading is self-paced and regulated).

This was the advice I got from my MIL too. She had to have a c/s with her second child and when they told her she said she was like "wait...you can't do that! I didn't read that part of the book!" she stresses this almost everytime I see her. I hope that I get lucky and don't have to have a c/s but you never know.

I decided to go in blind also. I didn't watch videos or anything though. I feel like the more I prepared I am the more scared I actually am. If I ever have questions about anything now I call my friend and ask her. I know it seems stupid but I get more anxiety about knowing whats about to happen than if someone springs it on me.

pinkflipflops44 · May 2011

You can do it Kerr! Just think..20 minutes more.. 10 more minutes.. break it down into doable chunks or even centimeters and just make I can do this.. I can do this your mantra.. don't let no slip in.. and heck if you realize you need the drugs.. you need the drugs.. just go about it positive and relaxed (hahahahahahah) and YOU CAN DO IT.

i feel like an effin motivational speaker.

kerrbear72 · May 2011

pinkflipflops44:
You can do it Kerr! Just think..20 minutes more.. 10 more minutes.. break it down into doable chunks or even centimeters and just make I can do this.. I can do this your mantra.. don't let no slip in.. and heck if you realize you need the drugs.. you need the drugs.. just go about it positive and relaxed (hahahahahahah) and YOU CAN DO IT.

i feel like an effin motivational speaker.

Except I don't think they swear

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