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Work, home, mama balance
How do you manage? I feel like I am crumpling under the pressure and stress of managing a house, a baby, a husband, and a full time job. Not to mention the parts of life I just want to enjoy. Work has been very stressful lately because of the unknown and I'm feeling ready to throw in the towel and SAH or work as needed. Yet...I just can't do it. I've asked twice now, to go down to 32 hours a week, which is still considered FT at my hospital. It'd be so much easier, physically and emotionally, to do two 12s and one 8 hour shift.
It doesn't help either that I think my milk supply is dropping since I have gone a several shifts recently without pumping for over 12 hours 
It was ok once or twice but now I think I'm paying the price... Fortunately, I still have managed to produce enough milk, we are just cutting it close every day I work...
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Re: Work, home, mama balance
definitely keep up your pumping or your supply will drop!
I work a normal schedule, more or less 7:30-ish to 4-ish. It's hard b/c by the time we get home, it's dinner time, then bath and then bed and then I start making lunches/bottles/cleaning, etc etc etc.
DH does his share, we finally got someone to come and clean the house every other week and I'm hoping DS and I will STTN sometime soon!
Plan dates, even if it's just TV veg-out-on-the-couch time. Once your DS gets on cow's milk, it'll get a little easier, too!
I think it's really hard to manage everything and there are times where it becomes really overwhelming. So, you are definitely not alone. I work 32 hours a week which helps tremendously. I hope you can get that schedule. As far as cleaning, we just didn't do it much when DD was little. I had to let something go and while we kept the house picked up, we did our "deep cleanings" less often. When we have DD#2, we are going to hire a cleaning person once a month so that the house at least gets one good cleaning a month. As far as the pumping/breastfeeding, I commend you for making it as far as you have. For me, I decided that the toll it was taking on me to provide only BM was too much so after careful thought, I decided to quit (this was when DD was 8 weeks). I'm not saying that's the right decision for everyone but for me and my family, it was.
I guess that you basically have to figure out what you can give up and what your priorities are. We definitely are not super women and can't do it all. I hope things seem to fall into more of a routine and that it doesn't feel so hard. For me, I find that these moments of feeling overwhelmed come and go so hopefully you'll figure out some changes that will work for your family.
This!!!!!
TTC #1 Cycle 14 - IUI#1=BFN, IUI#2=BFP | TTC #2 Cycle 8=BFP!!
When C was 9 months, I was working only 3 days a week and still felt totally stressed. As proud as I am for bfing him to a year, pumping and nursing is a hell of a lot of work, enough to be a job itself. Last Mother's Day, I had a mini-meltdown because I just felt so overwhelmed and under-appreciated. After that, DH started picking up a lot more of the slack, C started to STTN and things just started getting easier.
Now, a year later, I definitely (definitely) have my moments, but I honestly feel pretty well balanced. I'm back to work full time but I have a compressed schedule so that I have every other Friday off to run errands, clean or just take a three day weekend at the beach. I am no longer C's main source of nutrition which frees me up a lot. I'm taking yoga and pilates classes which are essential destressing me-time.
Anyway, all this is to say that in my experience, things get so much easier at the one year mark. I felt exactly like you when C was 9 months and I was about to pull my hair out. But then everything kind of gelled (including shifting a lot more work to DH, which was crucial in our case).
If I were you, I would try to change up a few things if you can. Try to find one thing a week that helps you destress, whether it's a bubble bath or a class or dinner with friends. Also, take a look at the division of labor in your house. Shifting more to DH's plate helped me immensely. I'm not sure if this is possible when your job, but DH and I also try to run errands and do as much as we can during our lunch hours. I also walk during my lunch hour a lot, which is a nice break and bonus exercise.
Hold on! It get's easier. And you will be amazed how much time you have when you wean. I don't know what your goal is, but you only have a few months until the standard 1 year. You can do it!!!!
This, completely. Honestly, I just had to let some things go. It was super hard for my very type-A personality. For me a big priority was spending all the time I could with DS in the evenings. That means that I do a lot of dinner prep during his naps on the weekends and straightening up at night after he is asleep, but heavy cleaning doesn't happen as often as I'd like. DH and I eat dinner after DS goes to sleep twice a week, so we have a little "date" then.
It's hard but I have found that we've gotten into more of a routine in the past 6 months. Regular sleeping has helped a lot! Know most of us are right there with ya, and do what works for you and your family, I hope that work schedule can get worked out!
It it makes you feel any better, I only work part-time & still have these moments. I think since we were little girls we were told we could have it all. Which is partially true, but like pp said, we have to chose our priorities & let the rest of the chips fall where they may.
Could you afford a house clearer? Or doing something like Let's Dish to release cooking duties?
Between work, school, watching Sprout, getting allergy shots 2x/wk, a freelance gig, house stuff and getting some fun time, I was feeling pulled in a gazillion directions. I started making a list of my priorities for every day of the week on Sunday night. Things are distilled into little pieces and I have a clear idea of what *needs* to be done vs. what would be nice to get done (unfortunately, the latter part is usually something like dusting or putting away the pile of clothes in our bedroom).
FWIW, I hated SAH'ing in the beginning but I'm *loving* it now. Loving. So if you didn't like maternity leave very much, you may enjoy SAH now. (not sure if that is something holding you back or not.)
Hang in there, though! You definitely aren't alone.
First of all, the house is nowhere as clean as it used to be. If a dish is hand-wash only, it doesn't get used at all anymore. Swiffer and scrubbing bubbles things have become my best friends. Crockpot meals and spaghetti (jarred sauce) are weekly staples in our house. And leftover dinner is always lunch for all three of us.
I don't know that it's as doable as a nurse, but I also have taken my lunch break to run errands/pay bills/make drs appts, and would eat during my other two pump breaks.
But everyone is right, it does get easier when you stop bf/pumping. I switched jobs when DD was 10.75 months and just decided to stop pumping then. I still bf until she self-weaned at 12 months, and did feel like I got a good part of my time back. She also began to learn to entertain herself, so I would pull out a few toys and clean/cook around her. Putting her play kitchen in the kitchen has been awesome (idea I got from this board). When I cook, she "cooks" with me.
DH and I have a date night once a month (we didn't start this until she turned a year) where we get a baby-sitter just so we can get out of the house. We also do a lot of talking once she goes to bed.
I have always needed a lot of sleep (8.5-9 hours) to function, so that is priority for me. Otherwise I can't communicate my thoughts and tend to forget things pretty quickly. However, I have been horrible at finding "me" time (I cannot tell you the last time I worked out that didn't involve walking the dog or running after a toddler). I finally went away for a girls' weekend two weeks ago and had an amazing time.
Good luck and it will get better!
First, we use outside help - no matter how tight our budget is, I am not giving up the house cleaner. I like to cook, and I've taught myself over the last year how to make quicker/easier (but still healthy) meals. I remember my cousin telling me that having 10 meals you can make in your sleep that you always try to have ingredients for is sometimes the key to sanity as a mom. Now that I have a toddler who can melt down if dinner is late, I completely agree.
I can tell you there was also this magic period in my life somewhere between DD turning one and this new baby being born where everything fell into place. DD was big enough to follow routines and understood directions. We had bedtime down. Teething was over. She was eating the same food we were so meal prep was easier. It was truly wonderful. I really felt like my own person again. Now with an infant, I am back in survival mode. Although it's easier the second time around. I have no expectations this time that things will be remotely near perfect for a long time coming.
Ditto pp - it is hard. Some days/weeks I feel so on top of things and others I feel like I am drowning and all I want to do is hide in bed. I feel like as they get older I feel more on top of things for longer periods of time. The physical side starts decreasing once they are beyond 3 or 4 - they don't need to be chased quite as much and Maggie will actually sit still for short periods of time if well occupied.
I also learned to let go of a lot. My house is rarely all clean all at once. The laundry is rarely all done at once. I may strive to cook a healthy meal every night but sometimes pizza will just have to do. If Maggie wants spaghetti o's with meatballs I try not to stress that she is not eating my homemade sauce and meatballs - at least she is eating a meatball which is truely progress for her.
Thank you guys for all your advice - it is so good to know that it seems to get better as they get older. Hopefully my hours can go down a little and I won't feel the need to SAH...DH is really not into me SAH and I'm not sure I really want to either. I want to hang on to my nursing skills and am hoping for a big career move in a few years and I think it'd be best to stay. It's just so hard...working the long, random hours, weekends, holidays. Blah.
Thanks again gals