Rude,or not?

tbabe · May 2011

Thoughts on this email message from MIL:

Hi, Tara:

Would you like to bring the girls over for a couple of hours on Friday and you and Sebastian can stay or go if you like. Mom

MrsOlson · May 2011

I think it is awesome! Take her up on it!

Jamaica_Bride · May 2011

Not at all!

lsufan · May 2011

I would take that as an offer to babysit so I could go get a pedicure, but maybe that's just because I really like my MIL. Coming from someone who I didn't get along with, I may take it a different way.

ridesbuttons · May 2011

Not rude. Nice.

tbabe · May 2011

Even if I told you she lives 45 minutes from here? I guess I just read it like the girls can come here and you can eff yourself, or whatever. Maybe im being hormonal.

veloelle · May 2011

How old is she? My mom, who is 63, texts very short, to the point. My mom lives 45 min away and I'd love to get a random text that told me to go on a date w/ my DH.

camrude · May 2011

Considering you are 71 weeks pregnant, I'd be beyond hormonal ;-)

I would take that as MIL offering to babysit and jump all over it.

JOEBunny · May 2011

Score! If she lives near something I like to do, I would be up for it.

tbabe · May 2011

She's 75, I think. DH will be at work, Id essentially have to find a way to occupy myself and DS. Ill figure it out, I just think her choice of words could have been better.

ridesbuttons · May 2011

You are being hormonal. This message sounds exactly like something my mom would send. I read it as: "let me take your kids for a while and you can have some free time".

I'd love to get a message like that.

EastCoastBride · May 2011

tbabe:
She's 75, I think. DH will be at work, Id essentially have to find a way to occupy myself and DS. Ill figure it out, I just think her choice of words could have been better.

Then don't go if it's inconvienent. But it sounds like she doesn't realize your DH is working and she's trying to give you some time to go do something for yourselves. don't over analyze and nit-pick over wording.

grja · May 2011

Wait, is Sebastian your dh or your ds? If its your DH, then i think she's being nice. But if thats your DS, then yeah, rude. Why wouldn't she watch him too?

~appletini~ · May 2011

Here is what I need clarified:

I thought Sebastian was your husband and she was saying you could stay or go do something by yourselves. That's a fabulous offer!

What I am getting from subsequent messages is that Sebastian is your son, not your husband. So, with that said: She's basically offering to watch only your daughters, not your son, and you can go or stay but you have to take DS with you? If that's the case, is it bothering you that she isn't offering to watch your son?

It would bother me, too, but then I don't know how old your son is. More detais needed I think.

AzaleaM · May 2011

Sounds nice to me.

Lately when I'm inviting my 4 year old's friends over for playdates, I'm up for the mom dropping the kid off or staying and visiting - either way would be great. But then I find that I'm not sure how to word it.

EastCoastBride · May 2011

grja:

Wait, is Sebastian your dh or your ds? If its your DH, then i think she's being nice. But if thats your DS, then yeah, rude. Why wouldn't she watch him too?

Oh wait. Good grief. My reading comprehension is poor. If this is the situation, then yea... I would actually say rude too.

dnagal · May 2011

Don't overthink it. Do something fun with just your son and let her have some girl time with your daughters. If it becomes a regular trend and your son starts to notice he's not so welcome...then it could turn into a problem, I guess.

veloelle · May 2011

Considering she's 75, I don't think it's rude she's not offering to watch all your kids. That's a big job for anyone not used to watching children. Sounds like you're finding reasons to find fault w/ it. As long as there are good intentions, I always find a good reason for grandparents to be as involved in a child's life as they want.

AzaleaM · May 2011

EastCoastBride:
grja:

Wait, is Sebastian your dh or your ds? If its your DH, then i think she's being nice. But if thats your DS, then yeah, rude. Why wouldn't she watch him too?

Oh wait. Good grief. My reading comprehension is poor. If this is the situation, then yea... I would actually say rude too.

Oh, yeah, maybe it is rude, then. Or is Sebastian the one with whom you are 71 weeks pregnant? Maybe taking care of a baby is too much for her? I wouldn't leave more than one kid with my 79 yo MIL.

joy143dh · May 2011

camrude:

Considering you are 71 weeks pregnant, I'd be beyond hormonal ;-)

I would take that as MIL offering to babysit and jump all over it.

Ha! my thoughts exactly.

Can I drop DS off too and go get my nails done?

tbabe · May 2011

Sebastian is my 7-monthold son. They couldnt handle all 3 kids. I know this, even if they dont. They dont seem to understand the idea of changing diapers so potty trained children only are allowed to be left alone in their care. im guess im being overly sensitive. That's what happens when you're 71 weeks pg. Indifferent

Temp108743750006959 · May 2011

she is saying nicely that she cannot handle all the kids -- so you and your DS go do something fun!

Zenya · May 2011

oh so it's a small baby. It makes sense to me then. Not rude.

ghm · May 2011

veloelle:
Considering she's 75, I don't think it's rude she's not offering to watch all your kids. That's a big job for anyone not used to watching children. Sounds like you're finding reasons to find fault w/ it. As long as there are good intentions, I always find a good reason for grandparents to be as involved in a child's life as they want.

Definitely this!

shouldbworkin · May 2011

Yah, I think she's just offering to ease some of the burden, whether it be by offering a second set of hands while you all come for a visit or by allowing you to just take one child to run some errands. Delivery could maybe be better, but I think it's still a really nice offer.

Zenya · May 2011

She may also assume you don't want to leave the baby. At that age my babies and me are a package deal (in as much as is practical). So maybe it didn't even occur to her.

UGAbride · May 2011

Ok at first I was like "not rude" thinking Sebastian was your DH. Then I thought "rude!" that she wouldn't watch your son. THEN I thought "not rude" again, LOL!! I would love if my MIL offered to watch my boys (and she does) and then I can go run errands with the baby. I wouldn't expect her to watch all 3, it would be easier on me to keep the baby (wouldn't have to pump to leave milk, wouldn't worry about burdening anyone with all 3 kids, etc).

So final verdict after seeing all your updates...not rude, I would love it.

shopgirl78 · May 2011

I don't think its rude. It's gives you some time with just one baby. I am almost always annoyed by my MIL...so I might think the same.

rebs · May 2011

tbabe:
Sebastian is my 7-monthold son. They couldnt handle all 3 kids. I know this, even if they dont. They dont seem to understand the idea of changing diapers so potty trained children only are allowed to be left alone in their care. im guess im being overly sensitive. That's what happens when you're 71 weeks pg.

I think you are way over thinking this. I get the feeling you don't have a good relationship with her if you are finding fault with this. Seems to me she is trying to do something nice, but making it known she can't handle kids and a baby. She could have just invited you over, but made the nice offer of letting you take the baby off if you had things you want to do.

thumper57 · May 2011

She just wants to spend time with the girls? unless there is a backstory I think it's a good thing

Dcubed · May 2011

I say not rude...I want my MIL to say this to me weekly (even left hints like - you know the kids aren't doing anything Wed after school but it has yet to happen). It sounds like she said you can stay or not because it is a 45 min drive and didn't know if you had anything to do around there but didn't want to make you feel obligated to stay.

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