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Why does my mil try and make me feel bad about myself

holly321holly321 member
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months
So she has already made comments about how she didn't need any help after her csection, and I finally started to get over it.
Then the other day, we were with her sister, and she was asking about my csection, and I was telling her how I was back on restrictions now, due to a muscle strain, and my mother in law felt the need to say how pain doesn't kill anybody.  I was so embarrassed. She said this after comparing the fact that I had to have ga, so my husband and I missed the birth of our daughter, to her husband not being able to be in the room when she was getting stitched up, since he went with the baby to the nursery. 
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Re: Why does my mil try and make me feel bad about myself

  • TyrinM03TyrinM03 member

    Brush your shoulders! Don't let her get to you!! You are doing the best you can. I fvcking hate it when people try to make themselves sound better than you. Tell her to shove it!!

     

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  • saraid2426saraid2426 member
    Tell her to kick rocks...lol... She is just trying to make herself look better so you need to be the smarter then her and come back with better responses to make her look dumb...
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  • cheerio9cheerio9 member
    I would try to have a talk w/ her in private about her comments. Try to put it as nice as possible bc you still have to see this woman. If she rebuffs and is rude about it then I guess you have to be a little harsher. Just remind her that everyone is different and you are not her. Also things have changed in the 20+ yrs since she's had a kid.
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  • changingnameschangingnames member
      She is probably full of crap and whined for weeks.  What is a GA and why did it cause you to miss your daughter's birth? Some people are just asshats and I suspect that the people who she is trying to make you look bad in front of think she looks like an asshat for it. 
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  • holly321holly321 member
    ga is general anesthesia.
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  • cwhitloccwhitloc member
    That is the job of the MIL, to make annoying comments.  Just be glad it wasn't your own mother making these comments.  I had to deal with a lot of annoying comments from my own parents the weeks after i gave birth. It's best to bite your tongue than to start an argument.  I hope she doesn't live close by.  She is most likely just jealous because you are replacing her as the most important woman in her son's life.  Having a child just solidifies that.  I have a friend who has a similar issue with her MIL.  If anyone should tell her to watch her comments, it's best if it comes from your husband in a respectful manner on the side.  Otherwise, things could get blown out of proportion.
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  • beaner123beaner123
    I can understand where you are coming from - my mil made me cry on my first mothers day.  she has terribly hurtful comments to only me and compares our daughter to the sons she had 30 years ago...i have to learn to brush her off or its going to be a long life
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  • kbgregoirekbgregoire

    The way my grandmother explains her pregnancies and labor/deliveries, she never felt anything or changed in any way during pregnancy, delivery was 10 minutes during which she felt no pain, my dad and uncles practically walked out, and I'm pretty sure they were changing themselves and feeding themselves within a week while she wore all her prepregnancy clothes. 

    I am guessing your MIL also remembers things a little differently than they actually happened.  I also bet she was a huge complainer and miserable post-baby and that is why she is trying to make herself look better now.

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  • Disneygeek77Disneygeek77 member
    imageKasamama:

    The way my grandmother explains her pregnancies and labor/deliveries, she never felt anything or changed in any way during pregnancy, delivery was 10 minutes during which she felt no pain, my dad and uncles practically walked out, and I'm pretty sure they were changing themselves and feeding themselves within a week while she wore all her prepregnancy clothes. 

    I am guessing your MIL also remembers things a little differently than they actually happened.  I also bet she was a huge complainer and miserable post-baby and that is why she is trying to make herself look better now.

    I was going to say this too.  I would bet you money that if you took a time machine back to when she had her csection, you would see that she didn't handle it as well as she says.  Heck, my previous csection was two and a half years ago and I still forgot how difficult the recovery can be. 

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  • jenna3016jenna3016 member

    Your husband needs to step up to the plate and tell his mom to knock it off with the comments re: LO's birth and your c-section.


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  • holly321holly321 member

    DH offered to talk to her, but I feel bad dragging him in them middle.

    And I have to see her several times a week, she watches DD some mornings.

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