For those of you with moms who live far away

hollster8 · May 2011

My mom (who lives 1800 miles away) and I are trying to figure out when she should fly out for when the baby is born. My due date is June 16th and this is my first baby. My original plan was just to tell her to come out a couple of days before the due date, but it is just more complicated than that I'm realizing. What if the baby comes early? Super late? My mom can't just give up a month of her summer. She'll be working and has a family to take care of.

The rest of my family is just going to wait for me to call when I go to the hospital, and then drive out. They're crazy, I know. I want my mom to be there for sure when the baby comes though, so that's why she's flying out separately.

Anyway - for those of you who have moms traveling for your baby's birthday, what are you guys planning on doing? I'm just so stressed trying to figure the logistics of this out! TIA

sunset+skies · May 2011

Mine, unfortunately, won't be there for the birth. My immediate family lives 3000 miles from me - literally more than halfway across the country.

My mom won't fly alone, and my dad's a college professor working the summer semester.

I would go with your original plan, and if you happen to go early, hopefully she can get a standby flight.

DreamChaser246 · May 2011

My mom is doing a similar thing, she will fly out early then drive back with family once LO arrives and she's been here for a bit to help us (Family won't come for a week or so). Right now the plan is for my mom to fly out the weekend before (11th or so) I'm due June 15th. She is just trying to find a cheap flight. I'm good with her coming anytime before, once I go on maternity leave, but it will probably be pretty quiet around the house. She teaches, so I think that the earliest that she can come out is the 8th or 9th (unless the baby comes early). The flight is not booked yet, but that is our plan.

amanda1680 · May 2011

I'm in the same boat, except my mom lives about 600 miles away. I'm due on the 15th, and she is flying out on the 17th and staying for a week. She really wants to be here for the birth, but there's just no way of knowing if I'll go early or late. It was more important to me to have her here after LO is born to help us with everything (we have no friends/family here at all). I wouldn't want her to waste her week off sitting here waiting for me to go into labor. I have accepted the fact that she might miss the actual birth. It's a tough situation, GL with whatever you decide!

jboricua · May 2011

my mom lives in Puerto Rico and with DD1 she flew in on my due date... DD1 was born 1 week later... 1 week after her due date

with DD2 she flew in 3 days before my due date and DD 2 was also born 1 week later .. 4 days after her due date

this time around Im having twins and will be induced at 39 weeks on june 6 which is the day after my moms bday and a day before my bday... yes great bday present 2 babies ... so we already know Im getting induced this time so hopefully the babies wait for grandma again

also I didnt have any problems with either pregnancy and if its your first baby and you having a healthy pregnancy you will likely make it to your due date or close enough

I really hope you guys work it out to the point where your mom is able to be there because I can tell you DD1 and DD2 are not my moms oldest grandkids and she doesnt really spend time with them because she lives so far away (we do skype everyday) but they have a special kind of bond because out of all her grandkids mines are the only ones shes seen be born plus she cut DD2's umbilical cord and she says that its a special kind of feeling towards them that she will always have with her in her heart and memories

AshleyPT · May 2011

My mom is flying out when I go into labor so we don't waste any of her leave. She flies a lot though for work so she has miles and doesn't mind doing things last minute, which I know is harder for other moms.

Alfie02 · May 2011

My mom lives about 8 hours away. My due date is June 22, and she is planning on coming down during the last week of June. I would not be interested in having her in the room with me while giving birth, so I really do not mind if she comes when baby is a few days old.

rainstar752 · May 2011

I was trying to figure this out too. My parents are both flying out, and ideally would be here for the birth, but it's just too hard to plan exactly- and I'd rather have them here once the baby comes than sitting around waiting for her to show up. Right now I'm thinking of telling them to fly out on my due date? I just hope I'm not like 2 weeks late...

zoomanager · May 2011

This is my first as well, and as much as I want my Mom to be here when the baby is born, she lives in TX and I live in VA. She is going to come up two weeks after the baby is born. It was too hard to figure it out other wise since those little ones come on their own schedule. She is either going to fly or drive. Plus, my husband will go back to work and then she will come for two weeks. That way, I will have help long but there won't be too many cooks in the kitchen. That will give me a full month of help!

sunshine336 · May 2011

My mom is 1600 miles away and was originally planning to come around my due date - June 18th. But I'd hate to be 1 or almost 2 weeks late and she would hardly see the baby since she's coming for 2 weeks. So she's coming in July- about a month after my due date. I'd rather that than her coming and I am overdue and (possibly) miserable for her visit. I wouldn't want her in the delivery room anyway.

And, even though I have to wait until July, I'll hopefully be feeling pretty good to be walking so that I can show her around a little and we're not stuck in the house/ yard the whole time.

But, it wasn't as important to be to have my mom in the delivery room and I know that OP and many other ladies really want their moms there.

hurricane1212 · May 2011

zoomanager:
This is my first as well, and as much as I want my Mom to be here when the baby is born, she lives in TX and I live in VA. She is going to come up two weeks after the baby is born. It was too hard to figure it out other wise since those little ones come on their own schedule. She is either going to fly or drive. Plus, my husband will go back to work and then she will come for two weeks. That way, I will have help long but there won't be too many cooks in the kitchen. That will give me a full month of help!

This is what we are planning on as well.

jjones59 · May 2011

Well my mom lives 400 miles away roughly 6 hours. Her and my dad will be leaving the minute I call them and tell them were going to the hospital and with any luck she'll make it here before Audrey comes.....

mrsbookworm · May 2011

My mom lives a little under 500 miles away (over 7 hours' drive), but it still seems far away to me. She plans to come to see us the week before my due date and will stay for at least a month after that to help out after LO's arrival. She did the same thing when I was having DS - the night after she arrived (I was 38 weeks, 6 days), I went into labor. I should add that my mother is retired and only does volunteer work, so her schedule is very flexible (a blessing to me).

MelanieAdam0707 · May 2011

My Mom lives 5 hours away so she already has her bag packed and will be leaving when I give her the word so she can be present for my sons birth...but 1800 miles...thats a tough one...maybe play it by ear...see how your doc appts go?

jml5q · May 2011

I'm in Tx and my mom is in Va. For my first, my parents fly out 2 days before my due date. DD was born 5 days later. They stayed for about 10 days after that.

For this one i'm still trying to figure it out. it's more important to me for my parents to be here before i go into labor this time so there will be someone to stay with DD.

The first time around it really wouldn't have mattered to me if they were here for the delivery, i didn't even let her in the room for the birth. But it was really nice to have her here the first week, she was a lifesaver. By the time DD was 2 weeks old i'd already gotten into a routine so it was way more beneficial to me to have my mom here right off the bat instead of coming out 2 weeks or so after she was born.

raeg13 · May 2011

My mom and dad will just get in the car and start driving once that they get the call from us that labor has started. The drive is about 11 hours. As much as we would love for her to be here, it's just not possible since she can only take so much time off of work. This way we can be sure she will be here to spend as much time as possible with her grandson and doesn't come too early and miss out on that time.

jennbunny01 · May 2011

My mom lives one state over, but I can't imagine doing this without her plus DH is a fainter so I need my mom! I am due the 19th I asked her to fly in on the 14th because the 15th is a full moon (I am a beliver in things happen on the full moon).

hollster8 · May 2011

Oh, I don't want my mom in the actual delivery room with me, I just want her to be there to meet the baby the day it is born. I think that she wants that, too, since MH's family lives only 20 minutes away. It might just have to be a last-minute thing for her. Thanks for all of your input though, it helps!

kaitylin · May 2011

My mom lives about 2500 miles away and so we are having the same problem. My due date is June 8th and she is flying out on June 2nd and leaving June 13th. I am really scared she is going to miss the birth since obviously LO could be late. My mom really wants to be here before I go into labor to help me get the house ready and so she can make a bunch of food to put in the freezer. Ideally she wants to come to the hospital as well (she won't be in the room for delivery but to meet the baby right after). We are hoping that baby comes on time (we are planning on walking a ton when she gets here) and if not, hopefully she can change her flight and go home a little later. Because of her work schedule she couldn't just stay longer but if it comes down to it and babies not here she will try her best to stay an extra few days. Otherwise, she's planning on flying back in July when my DH will be gone for work so she can meet LO then. I really hope LO comes on time though!

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