September 2011 Moms

Saw a pregnant woman smoking today

I was on the way back from my midwife appointment and saw a lady walking down the street, dragging on her cigarette. I was just stunned. And angry. To the point that I yelled "You're disgusting!" out my open window. She probably didn't even hear me, but I wished she did. I've been feeling rude that way lately and couldn't help myself.

It's one thing if you're gonna smoke shamefully behind closed doors because you know what you're doing is wrong. But to walk down the street like that, like everything is just a-okay? I was just sickened to be honest. When I see women here who struggle so hard to have children at all, or worry about every little thing they ingest in case it could hurt their child, then there are people like this who just don't give a flying fcuk, I just don't understand it.

Maybe I'm being overly judgemental here, but this is honestly the ONE thing I can't stand to see women doing to their child. Now more than ever I feel like motherhood is a "to each their own" situation when it comes to beliefs and morals and everything else. But the smoking thing is just one exception to that IMO.

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Re: Saw a pregnant woman smoking today

  • I have a "friend" who is still smoking while pg.  She says she's cut down to just a few a day, and her OB knows that and is ok with it since she's cut back so much.  I think she's a liar and a terrible mother.  I could post this on UOT or FFFC, but I'm pretty sure it really doesn't qualify as either.
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  • Yep, one of my close friends smoked throughout her whole pregnancy and I hated seeing her do it...but there is nothing you can do if they won't listen to you. Unfortunately she lost the baby this past january around 35 weeks.
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  • TinaL99TinaL99 member
    There is an OB office next to DDs day care.  One day when I went to pick DD up I saw a girl (late teens, early 20s maybe) walking out of the office and immediately light up a cig.  It's absolutely horrible and selfish.  Those poor innocent babies =(
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  • I couldn't agree more. My sister in law smoked through her whole pregnancy. When she'd light up she'd look at the people around and say,"I know I should quit. It's so hard though." I would just roll my eyes. IDIOT! She gave birth at 34 weeks to a 5lb little boy. Thankfully my nephew is healthy, but he's still developing things he should have developed in utero and he's 7 months old now. People are selfish. Plain and simple.
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  • From what I've heard, it can be recommended to cut back but not quit completely due to the dangers of withdrawal. I'm not saying I condone this.

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  • imagemesa81:

    From what I've heard, it can be recommended to cut back but not quit completely due to the dangers of withdrawal. I'm not saying I condone this.

    I kinda agree and have heard this before, BUT .. you're suppose to cut back and stop within a reasonable time frame.  Like only a couple of weeks.  And there is no reason you should smoke you're entire pregnancy.  I quit cold turkey on New Year's Day because it did take me a couple of days to quit, but I have more love for my baby than to smoke!

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  • DH works with another guy that has a pregnant wife. I guess one day they were talking about us (the wives) and DH made some joke about how I am not eating super healthily for our baby (I'm not offended, it was just a joke) and then said something along the lines of "but I guess it could be worse...she could be doing drugs". This dude and his wife are both potheads, and by the look on the guys face after he made that joke he could tell that his wife was still smoking pot.

    So yeah, he went on to justify it by saying his wife's mom smoked while she was pregnant with her, and his sister-in-law smoked while she was pregnant too, etc., etc. and they all turned out fine. I was so shocked!

  • imagemesa81:

    From what I've heard, it can be recommended to cut back but not quit completely due to the dangers of withdrawal. I'm not saying I condone this.

    They used to say that...like back in the 80s when people would still claim that smoking was harmless. Now only old school OBs will still give out that nonsense information. 

    I still wonder, what exactly are the "dangers" of withdrawal, other than being pissed off that you can't smoke? I mean, it's not crack or heroin! I could never figure that out.

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  • GinkeezGinkeez member

    This drives me crazy too.  Can't they AT LEAST quit while they are pregnant?  Of course they will just start back up when the baby is born anyway. They both drive me nuts, and I used to smoke.  I know how hard it is to quit.  And I know there is no reason you would need to smoke at all while you are pregnant.  Quitting is hard, but when your baby's health is at risk, you just don't do it.  Women that smoke shouldn't get pregnant until they quit. 

    And I know what you mean about doing it in public.  They know the risks of smoking and pregnancy, and they know what people think of them, and they do it anyway.  They could be chain smoking at home.  If they can't keep themselves from smoking one, then they aren't going to be able to stop themselves from smoking a whole bunch.  I don't get it at all.

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  • This is just so upsetting. I had a dream that I was smoking (and I'm not a smoker and haven't been in years and years) and I was ashamed just at my dream self!

    Normally, I admire people who do whatever the heck they want with a "you can kiss my bum" attitude- except not in this case.

    There are SO many things that we are told not to do while pregnant- so many things- and many of those things have room for argument. Studies showing that red wine has some benefits, or studies showing that small amounts of sushi are ok, etc. Smoking is the ONE thing that has absolutely no known permissible effects- it's all bad. From smoking, to breathing second hand smoke, to breathing smoke particles off of someones clothing- it's ALL bad. Like why would you do that? Why?

    And I have heard the same thing that some docs say that if it's less anxiety for the woman to quit, if she can at least cut down, it's fine. I don't love those docs.  

    Poor little babies. Ugh.

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  • I honestly feel much the same way about people who smoke in the house with their children. I have a student who has severe asthma, and every time I meet with his mother the smell of smoke makes my eyes water. Her son has missed SO MUCH SCHOOL this year because he just can't breathe, especially in the winter. And the smoke, while it might not be the *only* cause, certainly can't be helping any.

    Makes me really REALLY Angry

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  • I agree. It seems so selfish. I have a friend who smoked the whole 9 months with her 1st son (who was 10 pounds) and I used to give her crap about it and she'd say "but if I hadn't smoked, think of how big he would've been!" like it's all some big joke.
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  • imagebackinpgh:
    imagemesa81:

    From what I've heard, it can be recommended to cut back but not quit completely due to the dangers of withdrawal. I'm not saying I condone this.

    They used to say that...like back in the 80s when people would still claim that smoking was harmless. Now only old school OBs will still give out that nonsense information. 

    I still wonder, what exactly are the "dangers" of withdrawal, other than being pissed off that you can't smoke? I mean, it's not crack or heroin! I could never figure that out.

    No, it's physical withdrawals as well. I can't remember for sure but I did ask our smoking cessation NP in regards to my SIL who had 2 losses while pregnant (she quit when she found out).

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  • elyndselynds member
    imagekmikolitch:
    imagemesa81:

    From what I've heard, it can be recommended to cut back but not quit completely due to the dangers of withdrawal. I'm not saying I condone this.

    I kinda agree and have heard this before, BUT .. you're suppose to cut back and stop within a reasonable time frame.  Like only a couple of weeks.  And there is no reason you should smoke you're entire pregnancy.  I quit cold turkey on New Year's Day because it did take me a couple of days to quit, but I have more love for my baby than to smoke!

    This is sort of legit.  I had a not very close friend who was a big time smoker and when she found out she was PG she quit cold turkey, but apparently the nicotine withdrawal was so bad - I want to say there was a clotting issue?? - that her doctor told her to use a patch for a short time to transition (I don't remember how long, but definitely not more than a few weeks).  If she was PG enough for you to notice, then that would not be a reasonable excuse.

  • imageheateacher:

    I honestly feel much the same way about people who smoke in the house with their children. I have a student who has severe asthma, and every time I meet with his mother the smell of smoke makes my eyes water. Her son has missed SO MUCH SCHOOL this year because he just can't breathe, especially in the winter. And the smoke, while it might not be the *only* cause, certainly can't be helping any.

    Makes me really REALLY Angry

    THIS!!! A friend of mine was at the emergency room with her friend and her friend's son the other night because the little boy had an asthma attack. He just turned 2. Then I was with them the next day and they were talking about it and we were outside and his mother just started smoking right there. I wanted to be like "that right there is why he has asthma"

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  • EWW. EWW. EWW. I HATE smoking in general, but a PREGNANT woman smoking is a million times worse. SO GROSS!!! I would have yelled out my window too!
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  • I had a friend who smoke all through her pregnancy. And when someone questioned her on it she said that the DOCTOR told her that stopping would be more harmful then to continue. That it would put more stress on her and the baby to stop.

    When she said this to me I just looked at her wide eyed and said "I would be finding another doctor"

  • Shouting at her probably wasn't necessary, but I agree, this is gross and awful and I really don't understand why you would put your baby at that kind of risk! This isn't like seeing a pregnant woman drink a coffee, or even a glass of wine, or put artificial sweetener in something--this is an activity that has been proven time and time again to put fetuses and newborns in enormous danger.
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  • I don't smoke and never have. I'm a social worker though, and have lots of consumers who like to smoke when I'm doing home visits. I've actually gotten ball-sey enough to ask them to refrain from smoking until after I leave, and if they can't do that I ask them to meet with me outside. I don't care if it's their house or not, I'm not putting myself (I already have asthma) or my baby at risk bc of their disgusting habit.
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  • Yup, I know someone who smoked her whole pregnancy too... it really disappointed me to no end, but you can't make someone quit.  People said things to her, but she didn't stop.  Her baby is perfectly healthy thankfully, but I just can't imagine taking that chance - or ever intentionally putting something harmful into my body while pregnant.  Who the heck cares if "our parents did it, and we're all fine" - that does NOT make it ok, and it does NOT mean it was ok back when they did it either!! I hate that excuse.
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  • This is one of my biggest pet peeves. It p!sses me off to no end. If you want to smoke and endanger your own life, fine. But don't mess with your kid's health and life.

    I have a kind-of friend (she was my bf before she had her daughter) who smoked the entire time she was pregnant. I kept telling her later that she shouldn't have smoked, she was gambling with her kid's health. She said (and I quote) "Yeah but she turned out healthy, so it's all good." Um, but you didn't know that at the time!!! You had no idea that she wouldn't be a preemie or have other problems! You were gambling with your kid's life!!!! Plus you don't know if she will have any long term problems.

    Ugh. I have to stop this post now.

    Wyatt 9/6/2011 
    Tessa 7/5/2013
    Baby #3- ????? (ttc soon)


  • imagemesa81:
    imagebackinpgh:
    imagemesa81:

    From what I've heard, it can be recommended to cut back but not quit completely due to the dangers of withdrawal. I'm not saying I condone this.

    They used to say that...like back in the 80s when people would still claim that smoking was harmless. Now only old school OBs will still give out that nonsense information. 

    I still wonder, what exactly are the "dangers" of withdrawal, other than being pissed off that you can't smoke? I mean, it's not crack or heroin! I could never figure that out.

    No, it's physical withdrawals as well. I can't remember for sure but I did ask our smoking cessation NP in regards to my SIL who had 2 losses while pregnant (she quit when she found out).

     

    Okay, I'll admit it...up to the day I found out I was a smoker. I literally had my last drag while the test was "cooking". I took it right away in the morning, went outside to have a cigarette, came back in...saw two lines and NEVER thought about having another one again.

    At some time the next day, stories I had heard of being told not to quit came flooding back. I immediately got on the computer and started doing my research. Everything I found said to quit cold turkey, that it was the best way to make sure the LO went without a smoking mama for the longest amount of time. My OB agreed with this as well.

    In reality I was about 4 weeks when I found out so I guess I did smoke when I was pg, but I didn't know I was. Not much of an excuse because I had planned on quitting and I had cut back since we had started TTC I just didn't expect it to happen as quickly as it did.

    Nothing makes me more mad then the women I know (2 to be exact at the moment) that are pg and say they "have cut back." Coming from a smoker it was the EASIEST thing in the world to do. Quitting wasn't even a question, it wasn't just my body anymore. Now the only thing I fear is going back...dear God I hope I don't!

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  • A couple months before I got pregnant my friend and I saw a pregnant girl, had to be about 6 months at least, smoking out front of the local mall. For the world to see! We both gave her the stink eye and were talking about her loud enough to hear as we passed, but if I had been pregnant at the time when I saw her, and had all these hormones raging, I probably woulda grabbed it and stomped it out.

    I smoked before I found out I was pregnant and as soon as I found out I quit cold turkey. The guilt that would come over me every time I thought to reach for one was just unbearable. I already loved my baby too much then to even think about lighting one up. I don't get mothers who dont quit. It's sick.

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  • I was a smoker, yeah I know, it's gross, up until I found out I was pregnant at 5 weeks.  I quit cold turkey and have never looked back.  Its extremely selfish and disgusting to smoke while pregnant.  Gross.
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  • imageCanya615:

    I had a friend who smoke all through her pregnancy. And when someone questioned her on it she said that the DOCTOR told her that stopping would be more harmful then to continue. That it would put more stress on her and the baby to stop.

    When she said this to me I just looked at her wide eyed and said "I would be finding another doctor"

    My friend gave me the same song and dance. I rolled my eyes and told her that her doctor was full of crap. I also think she only heard what she wanted to hear in that conversation (with her dr).

    Wyatt 9/6/2011 
    Tessa 7/5/2013
    Baby #3- ????? (ttc soon)


  • Ugh, I can't STAND seeing women do this!!! The minute I found out I was pregnant with LO I quit, and I do not planning on starting up again. How can anyone be so damn selfish! The baby didn't pick your body to grow in, he has no choice but to be stuck with you! Why can't you just freakin take care of your self for your baby?? Pepole like that don't deserve to be parents, IMO.

    This girl @ work smoked the whole time during her pregnancy. We wouldn't let her do it in front of us so she went for "walks" with her coworker buddy who also smoked. Needless to say, she had a stillborn. I did some research (recently) and found out that this was a side effect to smoking during pregnancy or being around second hand smoke. So sad :( That poor baby boy. Breaks my heart. Over something so freakin stupid.

    /rant.

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  • Congrats on those who quit right away- that is awesome to read.

     I would have the same reaction. I smoked for 8 years and although I quit a long time ago I find smoking in general just revolting now- and being pregnant and smoking.......there is no excuse. I totally get why you yelled out the window- I have some filter control issues now too!! 

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  • imagemesa81:

    From what I've heard, it can be recommended to cut back but not quit completely due to the dangers of withdrawal. I'm not saying I condone this.

    The dangers of withdrawal are not severe enough to affect an unborn child. And if someone is worried about this, they should chew nicotine gum for a few weeks to wean themselves off of it. Nicotine isn't good to share with the LO, but it beats all of the chemicals and carcinogens that come from smoking. I'm a former smoker, and it was tough to quit (many years ago), but I've lost too many people to lung cancer to be easy on smokers. Any doctor who condones smoking cigarettes for a pregnant woman needs to lose his/her license.

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  • imagebackinpgh:
    imagemesa81:

    From what I've heard, it can be recommended to cut back but not quit completely due to the dangers of withdrawal. I'm not saying I condone this.

    They used to say that...like back in the 80s when people would still claim that smoking was harmless. Now only old school OBs will still give out that nonsense information. 

    I still wonder, what exactly are the "dangers" of withdrawal, other than being pissed off that you can't smoke? I mean, it's not crack or heroin! I could never figure that out.

    I have a totally old school OB, and she would kick my a$$ if I ever smoked while pregnant. No excuse. It's just plain selfish. 

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  • imagemesa81:

    From what I've heard, it can be recommended to cut back but not quit completely due to the dangers of withdrawal. I'm not saying I condone this.

     

    I have heard this before also.

    This might surpirse you, It shocked the He!! out of me and DH: We were sent to a genetics councelor when I was pregnant with DD because of her SUA and the lady was asking about any birth defects or illnesses in our family. My cousin was born with a clef pallet (basically she was born without an upper lip and most of the roof of her mouth) and at the time all of the doctor's put it to my aunt's smoking (she smoked non stop throughout both of her pregnancies). My cousin is 22 and just finally had her last sugery to have an almost normal-looking nose last summer. We told the lady about my cousin's condition and added "but it was because of my aunt's smoking". She told us that it probably wasn't because of her smoking--it's actually in recent years been disproven that smoking causes birth defects like that, and that the only thing smoking has been linked to in pregnancy is low birth weight. We've met with a few other doctor's since (quite a few actually since DD was in the NICU) and all of them have confirmed what this genetics counselor told us.

    It completely shocked us. It didn't change my opinion at all about smoking during pregnancy--I think it's absolutely horrible.

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  • One of DH's co-workers smoked while she was pg.  Sometimes convenient store workers would refuse to sell her cigarettes.  Which I really commend them for.  And to add insult to injury she wanted to breastfeed to lose weight.  But she didn't want to give up smoking.  So she pumped and dumped and gave the baby formula.  That just makes me sick.  What a freaking waste.
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  • EnamiEnami member
    I guess I'm just a b*tch, but this really doesn't bother me. It's your kid, your decision. Now, if you have preemie because of this, or your LO is disabled because of this, I will have no sympathy for you, just your baby. No one should be saddled with sh*tty parents, but kids are all the time. I just hate having to pay anything to these assholes. I guess I just don't get why people think every kid is entitled to awesome parents, they aren't. That's trying to make fantasy reality, it doesn't work. As long as no one is holding a gun to my head telling me how I should act during pregnancy and parenting, then I don't care how other people are. Just don't expect anything from me for your mess ups.
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  • mishelemishele member

    Years ago when I still smoked (quit way before getting pregnant) a pregnant woman came up to me and actually asked me if she could have one of my cigarettes.  I flat out told her no and looked down at her stomach.  She got really beligerent with me and said it was her business and her child and she could smoke if she wanted to.  I told her, "sure you can, you just can't smoke my cigarettes"  I couldn't believe the stones this woman had.

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