- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Cincinnati Babies
Is this behavior worrisome?
The pedi keeps telling me not to worry, but I'm still concerned about DD's inability to manage being in large crowds or around lots of noise. I don't know if she's just really shy or if there's more going on. I'm wondering if maybe she has some sort of sensory issue or something.
She's shy but acts appropriately one-on-one with strangers. She's totally fine one-on-one or in small groups with people she knows and is really able to open up in those situations. She does great in preschool with 11 other kids, especially now that she's very comfortable there and knows the routine they follow every day. She's still on the quiet side at preschool but she does talk, especially to the teachers and a couple close friends.
I'm not concerned about her intelligence. Her vocabulary is also not at all worrisome, and although I was worried about her enunciation, we had her evaluated and her speech is age-appropriate.
The girl simply cannot handle large crowds, though. Birthday parties have been an issue to the point that we no longer have them for her or DS. We've only been to two parties in the past 18 months that haven't been a disaster, and it's been because at both of those parties there was space for her to separate herself from the party when she needed. At others she's cried and said she didn't have a good time. It has helped some that we now try to prepare her ahead of time by telling her there will be a lot of people, but it hasn't been a cure.
Today we took her on a train ride to see Curious George. Should have been a great time. It was great for the train ride out to see Curious George and while we were at that area, but things fell apart as soon as we got back on the train. Her balloon had popped while we were off the train and even though they quickly gave her two more, she cried as I rocked her in my lap the entire ride back to the station. She said it was too loud on the train. She didn't calm down until she was strapped into the car. She fell asleep on the way home, but she shouldn't have been tired. I think she was only tired from all the crying. She doesn't normally nap anymore, plus this was still early in the day.
The weird thing is that we went to a crowded children's museum while we were on vacation last month and she did fine. She spent the entire time engrossed in the moon sand area and at the water table, though. It was like she was focused enough to tune out the chaos. I've also noticed that the best way to get her to tell me about her day at preschool is to get her talking about it while she's playing with Play-Doh or something similar.
We don't go to lots of crowded places like the zoo, museums, etc., so I don't know if part of the problem is that she hasn't had a ton of exposure to large crowds. She does fine at the grocery store, church, preschool and places like that, though.
I would love to hear what others think and whether anyone knows of any coping mechanisms for when we are in large or noisy crowds.
I may or may not DD this later. I just feel weird having something like this out there for anyone to see.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Is this behavior worrisome?
How has she done at her checkups with the autism checklist? Any worrisome behaviors on that (like tics, or nervous behaviors that cause her to do repetitive motions)? From teaching, I know that difficulty with social situations can be part of high-functioning autism, but I also know that some toddlers are simply more sensitive than others.
Other than her not communicating as well when needing to talk about school (like with you mentioning her playing with Play-doh while she does it), have there been any other signs? I would definitely ask about it at the doctor to see if she needs to be evaluated, but I don't think I'd jump the gun and assume it's autism or something. I wonder if it's just some sort of mild anxiety about new situations with groups, since you mentioned that she's fine at daycare. If the doctor warrants it, the county will usually send someone out to the house to do an actual evaluation to see if there are any markers. If nothing else, that might ease your mind.
There haven't been any red flags with the autism checklists. Her pedi has a child with autism and is convinced she doesn't have it since she does better one-on-one than in large groups. I've just been trusting him on that since I'm absolutely no expert on any of this. The only other mildly concerning behavior is that she tends to wear only one sock around the house, but it isn't all the time and it isn't always the same foot. I honestly think sometimes one just falls off and she doesn't care. She pretends, can carry on a conversation with close friends, can follow directions very well, asks appropriate questions about what we'll be doing during the day, and really doesn't seem to get overly freaked out by anything other than large, noisy crowds.
So, I guess my main concern right now is the whole large crowd issue. Even at three months she would just scream anytime we tried to go to a busy restaurant. (She's fine in restaurants now.) She's just never liked large, noisy crowds. DH wonders if it's just because we noticed it at an early age and haven't really forced her into too many situations like that. We're both questioning the whole cause-and-effect of that.
Both my mom and MIL are teachers and neither are concerned, but they also haven't really seen her in large groups other than at her own birthday party. They both said her meltdown was just because people were "invading her house," but she's like that no matter where the large crowd is.
Maybe I should make her next appt with a different pedi in the group to get a second opinion. Even if there isn't anything "wrong," it would be nice to learn some coping skills to help her through those situations. It's troublesome that it doesn't appear to be getting hugely better as she grows. That's good to know the county might be able to do an evaluation.
Great idea. Thanks!
I'm no expert, but I don't think it sounds like autism either.
I do have a nephew with sensory issues. I can tell you that it was hard for them to get that diagnosis. He has more extreme reactions than you seem to be describing, though. He acts out, sometimes violently, when he's overwhelmed. He craves physical contact; he likes to have his arm or back rubbed constantly. He often can hold it together at school, but loses it when he gets home.
I wouldn't jump to conclusions, though. The thing is, I'm not sure there are a lot of easy answers even if you know it's a sensory issue, so I think I'd probably just keep a close watch on it. Birthday parties can be overwhelming for lots of kids. The balloon meltdown actually sounds pretty typical for some of the 3-year-olds I know. Do you think there's any chance she could be coming down with a cold or something?
It actually sounds, just from reading your post, like she might be improving some, but maybe I'm reading too much into it. I hope you get some more good insight! If you want to know any more about how my nephew's sensory issues have manifested themselves, feel free to send me an e-mail.
Photo by Melissa Nicole Photography
As a former Intervention Specialist, I really have to keep my thinking in-check as far as "diagnosing" DD with different disability symptoms. There are things that she does that worry me for a bit (there has only been a few times that she will let go of the railing when she is playing up high on playground equipment. It's like she has a fear of heights already. Weird, right? Anyways...) I have to put a lot of it out of my mind and remind myself of how young she is.
One thing that does NOT show a big red flag to me is that she is fine with lage crowds when she is in a situation that she is used to, such as church, preschool, etc. It sounds like she only has a difficult time with the new situations?
Maybe you could try easing her into big crowds. Take her to a busy park for 5 minutes, then 10, then 15. Or some other crowded place that you think she would enjoy. Try giving her TONS of positive reinforcement and talk it up big time before you go.
And C does the same stuff with the socks. She takes one (or sometimes both) off while she eats and then runs around with 1 off. I think she just does it for something to do while she eats.
I would talk to your pedi if you are still concerned, because you know your DD best and your pedi may be able to comfort you too. I HTH a little!
When I said the 5 minute, 10, 15, etc. idea. I meant 5 min one day, then 10 the next, then 15 another day, etc. I also would not give much attention to melt downs, I would help her to take a "break" and calm down and then try your best to get back to whatever it is you were doing.
I agree with copswife, that she does sound typical to other 3 year olds with melt-downs. Kids are so super emotional and can change their behavior and attitude within a matter of minutes. They're kind-of like drunk college students in that way.
I guess the meltdowns concern me since they are different than her normal little kid meltdowns over not getting what she wants. I mean, the one yesterday lasted 45 minutes and although it was triggered by the balloon, it didn't seem like that was the main issue for her. It was also really weird how suddenly she stopped crying once she was strapped into her car seat and we were in the quiet car.
I absolutely do not have a background in education, psychology, or anything else that might be helpful in this situation, but in my totally uneducated opinion if this is outside the realm of normal, I'm leaning toward a minor sensory issue, not autism. It's kind of strange how often when we're alone she happily says, "It's so quiet here!" She also gets really excited if we go to a store or restaurant and we're the only people there. Many times within earshot of store owners she's said, "There not many people here!"
She does do much better in familiar large-crowd situations, and it does seem to very, very slowly be getting just a little bit better.
I just feel so bad for her because I know it frustrates her that she can't handle these situations or describe why they bother her so much.
After reading more and more, I would definitely talk to your pedi who can hopefully give you a reco to a great OT. Even if they do an eval, and she doesn't qualify for any services or have any disorders, an OT could still give you some great ideas/activities to do with her that may minimize some of the behaviors. I know a great, wonderful, amazing OT who lives on the north side of Dayton. I'm not sure where you are in Cinci, but I can try to get her contact info if you want! GL!