Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
sbuxsweetie
member
Re: Did anyone plan a VBAC and end up with a C/S anyway?
I can't answer your question about having a c/s after trying for a VBAC. But yes, this is a risk that anyone who decides to try a VBAC has to accept. There is always a possibility of laboring only to end up with another c/s and that can be difficult to think about. Some women are willing to take that chance and others feel more comfortable scheduling a c/s so that they don't have to worry about that. It's just a matter of what ultimately feels right for you.
Why were you induced? How far along were you and did you have a favorable cervix when you went in? A failed induction doesn't necessarily have any reflection on your body and your ability to have a vaginal birth in the future. Studies show that 60%+ of moms who had a primary c/s for failure to progress can have VBACs in the future.
Something that has helped me to emotionally prepare for the possibility of laboring and having another c/s is to write a c/s birth plan. I felt completely unprepared for my first c/s and I'm hoping that if I have another one, I can still feel empowered and have a voice in how the birth happens.
What does that all include? I guess I never thought you could have a birth plan for c/s.
Well, I wasn't technically induced. I went in because I was having contrax 5 minutes apart, but once I was admitted, things slowed down and they used Pit & broke my water to help my labor progress. From there, things sort of went downhill.
Thanks for your response! Silly question, but who do you talk to about your wishes? The OB, during prenatal visits, or the nurses/staff in L&D?
I just read your story- thanks for sharing! It's good to hear you feel good about how things went. Did you feel anything during the surgery with your epi? I did, and was told that a spinal, rather than an epi, is more ideal for a c/s.
I think I had a combo epi/spinal, but don't remember for sure. I remember feeling a lot of tugging (like I was going to be pulled off the table which made sense since the OB needed a step stool to get DS out - he was quite wedged!) but no real pain. My greatest discomfort was lying on my back before surgery started since everytime I went on my back I got lightheaded.
I did. I had my first c-section after I only got to 9.5 cm and then had my cervix start to swell closed. DD1 was 9 lbs 2 oz and sunny side up. Her head was just too big to fit though my pelvis, and I think because she was sunny side up, there wasn't enough contact for me to completely dilate. She was also 10 days late.
My OB agreed to let me try a vbac as long as I went into labor before my due date. It turns out, my babies like to bake longer than 40 weeks. DD2 was born via repeat c-section 2 days late. She was also sunny side up, and she was actually bigger. She was 9 lbs 4 oz.
I'm glad that I was open to a vbac, but if we choose to have more kids, I think they'd have to be c-sections.
Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
This is in response to c/section birth plan. II had a very positive first c/s experience. It was a scheduled c/s and I was able to make a birth plan. (My baby's estimated weight was 10 lbs 8 oz at 40 weeks. (He was born at 10 lbs 7 oz a few days later.) Due to a few variables, my husband and I decided to go straight to c/s instead of induction.)
I had been preparing for natural childbirth and adjusted my birth plan for a c/s. I shared the plan with my doctor and reminded my husband about the most important things that day. Included: see the baby over the curtain right after he was delivered, my husband was to hold the baby as soon as he was able, Daddy would stay with the baby at all times, baby would not be taken out of room for first bath during my "stiching up". We had already hired a doula, so she stayed with me during recovery while Daddy stayed with BAby outside the nursery window for his first check-ups. My doula helped me start BF as soon as Baby was returned to me in Recovery. My hospital did not routinely tie down arms during c/s, but I would ask for that again if you are not sure.
Still deciding what to do about this delivery.