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July 2011 Moms
LyndseyLC
member
2nd shower today and vent
LyndseyLC
member
I just need to vent..I just feel so so irritated about everything..
Let me also just say that I appreciate all the gifts I got at my shower.
Last night we picked up our new chair (rocker recliner) for baby room. We first had dinner with DH's dad and step mom then went to go pick it up. DH's step mom kept mentioning that we would put the chair in the living room. Which really irritated me because its for the nursery, we dont have room in the living room and its not like I plan to nurse out in the open in the living room. Its our chair..
Today was super nice day in MN like the first real nice day weather wise especially on a Sat. and of course my shower was today. I spent all morning doing laundry, yard work, walking dog, vacuuming and washing my car. I was almost late for my own shower.. I felt bad. Anyways..I think we invited like 25 people and only 10 were able to come not including the children. My 2 cousins brought their youngest, my friend brought her 2 year old and another friend brought her 4 month old and 18 month old. Which was totally fine except the 18 month old made everyone nervous by getting into everything, and her mom(my friend) didnt do anything..she didnt even bring toys for her to play with.
Also...people always say dont buy clothes because you will get so much at your shower. I got like barely any clothes.. My mom got a cute outfit and then I got a few sleepers thats it. I was a little saddened as I assumed I would get more clothes. good thing I already have done some shopping of my own. My MIL the one who hosted the shower had not up til today gotten us anything for the baby. Today as a shower gift she had got us the swing which was very generous but I just find it odd she didnt buy some clothes..
Then DH's g-ma who is 92 very sweet lady doesnt understand anything. She didnt know what a carseat was, I showed her the u/s pics and she said stuff like "is that the babys hair" and asking why the photo was the shape it was you know how u/s pics are. She goes those arent clothes are they?? WTF..I tried explaining but she was totally clueless.
I got one of those play yard things and someone said that will come in handy when you are trying to get stuff done and she does that is what the TV is for...I have already made it clear that I am currently against much TV time..
Then my one friend who came with her 2 kids had dropped her DH off to hang with my DH. We get home and I kept saying things trying to get them to leave. I was so tired and just wanted to relax without company. I just thought it was so rude they hung around for like at least an hour after the shower after I had said I wanted to nap. DH didnt help carry anything inside. they had been drinking so he was being annoying. He had his pet snake outside in the grass. Cigarette pack out which I hope my mom didnt see. Asking me to get him food and that they had not eaten anything..WTF make yourself food. then he was basically asking why I was tired...We didnt get into a fight or anything but he is currently at his friends house playing video games and going to spend the night there..ugh...he frustrates me. I told him I would be ok that he spends the night at this guys place if he brought me breakfast in the am then when I just talked to him he says well I might bring lunch if I get up too late. I just kind of feel like he doesnt realize that I am pregnant and the things I am going through...I thought it would help when I got bigger but no..I just feel like he doesnt treat me any different and sometimes I wish he would, like be more sweet or something.thats all for now thanks for reading
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Re: 2nd shower today and vent
I'm sorry that you weren't happy with your shower but you must realise that people think that you want the presents on your registry over clothes. I think you're the first person to complain that they got registry items, normally the issue is that they got too many clothes. You have to remember that you don't need masses of clothes for your baby, they grow out of them so fast!
Your Grandmother just appears a bit confused, I'm presuming she's old, let her be and you're life will be much easier.
The chair issue is just not even worth reacting to, I mean it's not like they put the chair there and told you that you can't move it, it's your house put it where you want it and leave the issue be.
Your DH sounds like a typical guy, maybe the only thing in this post worth having issues with, talk to him about this all and explain. I know my DH sometimes forgets that I can't do everything that I used to but once I talk to him he's back with me.
You sound really spoiled & selfish & ungreatful to me. 2nd shower & you're still b!tching? Maybe its because Ive been up for almost 2 hours now with my kid so Im taking it wrong but really I think you need a smidge of a reality check.
First off, most people complain because they have to buy their expensive registry crap because everyone bought them clothes. Would you rather have an item that you need, or a couple $5 onsies, or nothing at all. Oh darn, now you dont have to suffer with peoples ugly clothes choices & you get to buy them yourself. For your baby, that YOU chose to have. Technically hosting your baby shower could be considered your MILs gift to you, so the fact that she bought you a swing is a bonus.
& then the complaining about grandma, you do realize back when she had kids you brought them places in your arms right? & she's old, most likely not 100% there & I think you're a little ridiculous, not her.
Then theres your husband. As if your mother doesnt know he smokes, its really really hard to cover a nasty habit like that up completely, I know J smokes, then wtf does it matter to your mom is he does? Is he over the age of 18? Then its legal. Did you say, please dear dont go play video games & drink all night with your friends? Because if you did & he still went then you have bigger issues than him not treating you sweet & if you didnt why are you complaining.
I think thats it for now, maybe when my brains working 100% Ill have more for you.
Forgot about the chair, why wouldnt your mil or whoever think that you wouldnt want to nurse in your livingroom, its your livingroom. Do you really want to be locked away all by yourself for 10+ hours a day in babys room? Not many sane people would, most normal people would want to be out where they could get help from the spouse, or watch tv, or not be stuck in a room all day. I dont think its odd at all she was saying you might want it out there.
I think you should feel lucky to have had a second shower. I only had one, and I got really only clothing. I just went out and spent $1,200 on all the items on my registry that I actually needed for this baby. I'm not complaining, but I think you should feel lucky to have people who bought you stuff like a play yard etc, because all that stuff is really expensive.
I also agree with Mainemommy. Throwing a shower is a gift. She didn't have to get you anything at all.
Also people are going to give you their $0.10 on everything. The TV thing and the chair thing are just examples of the many comments you will get, and they don't stop after LO is born. People have an opinion on how you raise your child from the way you dress them to the way you feed them etc. Its best to learn how to ignore it now if you want to save your sanity.
As for your grandmother... they didn't have ultrasounds, and they didn't use car seats. She came from a different time, and maybe she just hasn't been around a lot of pregnant women since she had her own children.
I am sorry that you are frustrated. My guess is that this is a tired rant and in the morning (today) you will feel better (more realistic). I don't think your post was meant to be ungrateful, you just needed to let off some steam.
I hope today you are able to go over the positives and excitiment of yesterday. And that DH/SO is in a better place share the excitement.
GL!
BFP #1 March 24, 2010; missed m/c May 26, 2010 @ 12w 4d; D&E May 28, 2010
BFP #2 Oct 20, 2010; My little boy was born on July 5, 2011
BFP #3 April 30, 2013; Chemical Pg May 5, 2013
BFP #4 Aug 22, 2013; It's a boy. Loss discovered at 24 weeks on Jan 15, 2014 (cause CMV virus)
BFP #5 April 6, 2014; missed m/c May 15, 2014 @ 9 weeks; Misoprostol May 15, 2014; D&C May June 3, 2014
You really don't sound rational in this post.
Mad because people got you big ticket items and not clothes?
Hiding smoking from your mom?
Getting mad because someone is suggesting you put a chair somewhere other than the nursery> It isn't like she put it there and refused to move it to the nursery. It was a suggestion...
Mad at your 92 year old grandmother (who honestly sounds a little senile from your description) because she doesn't understand car seats and ultrasounds. Even my H who grew up in the 80s had parents who didn't use car seats. They put a pillow in the floor of the car and put him on it.
Upset because other people let their kid watch tv? They didn't force you to allow your kid to watch tv. They were just making conversation.
Sorry, but it sounds like you had your pissy pants on yesterday. I hope you wake up in a better (and more reasonable) mood.
We'll miss you sweet Debbie Girl (4.21.12) and sweet Cindy Girl (8.9.12)
I agree with the above posters.
Hopefully you've blown off some steam and can reevaluate things today.
I hope you've come back to this and realized how much of an a-hole this makes you sound.
Lets see how cognizant you are when you're 92.
Entitled, self absorbed, beebee
Your lucky that the people who attended your shower don't know how ungrateful you are. I would not have bought you anything if I was one of them and knew you would react like this. As far as your DH's grandmother, leave the poor lady alone. I seriously can't believe you are having a fit over her. She's 92 years old and things were a lot different then. You and your DH sound like you have a lot of growing up to do before that little baby comes.
You sound very irrational right now. I am going to assume you had a long day and are a little fried right now. Otherwise, good luck with everything. If these are the type of things that rile you up I would recommend therapy.
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People barely got us any clothes for DS, just incase he wasn't a boy. I think you need to realize that being 92 and still being able to function is a great thing, and you shouldn't be so harsh on a little old lady. My dhs grandma is very forgetful and is loosing her hearing, but we deal with it the best we can...I think that is such a horrible thing to say
This post makes no sense, much like all of your other posts.
This. I really hope you feel better after some sleep, because otherwise you have bigger issues than YH smoking or not getting clothes as a present.
You sound like an ungrateful brat. I now feel that my intelligence level has gone significantly down after reading this post.
When the issue is "everyone else," you need to realize that the common denominator is YOU. You sound crazy, selfish, and ungrateful in this post.
None of this a big deal.
You got great presents over freakin' clothes. Clothes are a dime a dozen at a garage sale or on the Target clearance. Not a big deal.
Be happy people wanted to share.
Most grandmothers are like that. Smile, nod, hug the old lady and let it go.
Your friend stayed because they wanted to see you.
Put the chair where you want. SMIL was probably just making discussion. My mom and MIL do that all the time. Doesn't mean I have to listen, although sometimes they do have great advice. People like to talk. About kids especially. You're going to need a thicker skin if a chair bothers you.
I get that you're tired and exhausted but it doesn't give you an escape to sound like an entitled brat, so ditto pp.
Don't tell me, let me guess.
Your H was an immature, selfish prick a$$hole when you were dating. Then your H was an immature, selfish prick a$$hole when you were engaged. Your H continued to be an immature, selfish prick a$$hole after you got married. So you decided to get pregnant and have discovered that lo and behold, your H is still an immature, selfish prick a$$hole.
What's funny is this surprises and disappoints you.
I'm sorry, but I think you need to be more grateful that you have a healthy baby and pregnancy and that you even got to have two showers.
Congratulations on having a healthy baby.
Twins born too early at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix
FET #1, IUI #1, 2, 3, 4 - all BFN
IVF #3 BFP!!! IT'S A BOY! Born July 16th, 2011
FET #2 BFP! Due February 15, 2013
I agree.
I'm not sorry you didn't seem to have a good time and that you are such a selfish brat. Venting is one thing, making yourself look like a biatch is another.
YOur problem isn't the shower.
Your problem is the jerk you married.
Maybe this is girl stuff and a hen party but wow, where was he?? Doesn't sound like he was present in any size shape or form -- and he's treating you like a common skivvy to boot. you are not his slave, his mom, his cook, his waitress or his chatel. Too bad he can't get it through his head.
IF he is like this now, imagine what he'll be like when the kiddo comes. I see many days ahead for you doing nothing but taking care of the kiddo while he rails at you to wait on HIM.
Amen. I can't believe I just wasted my time reading that! Dammit! I had my shower yesterday, got so many clothes and will have to purchase a lot of big ticket items myself but you don't see me complaining/venting do you? I figured it would happen this way, I prepared myself.
BFP 10/25/10 Brynn Helen born 7/7/11
This is the absolute perfect response! Couldn't have written it better myself!
This....cheer up, there are so many people who don't even have one shower.
Can you say self-absorbed much? You sound like a spoiled 14 year old. Get over yourself.
I'm shocked that only 10 people showed up to your shower. You sound so likable!
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