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February 2011 Moms
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I know this may be a no brainer, but I want to hear I'm right.

TiffanyTheMomTiffanyTheMom member
in February 2011 Moms

When we go to FL in less than a week, we'll be spending one day to go to Disney with my dad. I planned on leaving LO with my mom- I don't want to take a baby to Disney, and my dad only has a 5 seater car anyway- just enough for him, DH, DS, DD#1 and me. We couldn't take LO if we wanted to, which works because I don't want to take her.

I'm starting to think I don't want to leave LO with my mother anymore. It's not my mom, it's her BOYFRIEND. I've never met him before, and she's been known to be with d-bags before just because the sex is good. (Well, sex is sex, and she's a bit of a nympho. Not trying to be gross, but facts are unchangeable.) Her boyfriend has made several d-bag remarks on photos of her making fun of her on FB, and she's always like 'oh, such a joker!' and the comments SERIOUSLY tick me off.

 I'm worried thinking that he'll be sleeping over on the night my mom watches LO, and scared he'll be over the day we're at Disney. I just have fears that my mom will leave the room, LO will start crying, and d-bag boyfriend will shake the crap out of my baby. I know I have no reasons to believe he would do this, and I', probably paranoid because a friend's co-worker left her 18mo old son with her boyfriend of 4 months, and he shook the crap out of her son- who is now dead. My mom has known this man just a month or so, and even if she trusts him- I DON'T. And I have the feeling if I ask my mom to not have him there, she'll just say, 'Oh, he'll be fine.' Or agree to not have him there just to get me to leave the baby with her, and have him over anyway. Or get mad at me, and say, 'Well, I think you need to find someone else to watch her then, because I'm an adult and can have anyone I want over.'

I'm struggling to think of someone else to watch my LO, but I really can't think of anyone. And her coming with us isn't an option- my dad is a cast member and gets free parking because of his stickers, and if we took another vehicle we'd have to park separately. And we'd have a baby with us at Disney. Totally can't go if I don't have someone to watch her.

Should I trust my mom that she'll either not have him over, or that he'll be 'fine,' or should I just tell her, 'hey, I don't trust your word and I don't trust him, I'm looking for another person to watch LO'?

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Re: I know this may be a no brainer, but I want to hear I'm right.

  • JamieSFJamieSF member
    Go with your instincts. Things would very, very likely be fine, but you will definitely spend that whole day on edge worried about your baby. Also, in the very slight chance that something did happen, you would never forgive yourself for leaving your lo somewhere you thought might be insane. I probably wouldn't confront your mom about it though. Find somebody else and just mention it to her in a more casual way... Sorry you have to deal with that from your mom :/
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  • JamieSFJamieSF member
    Ugh. Insane = unsafe. Silly iPhone.
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  • wilma007wilma007

    I'm sorry Tiffany, but I?m fairly sure you probably have no reason to listen to me; but, here goes anyway ? Hun you have a major dilemma! You follow your heart, that gut-feeling - you as a mother have on this one. If as you said ?my mom is this way? - then you have every right to feel the way you do ? with the remarks you mentioned about him (her boyfriend) posting on your mother?s FB page - I don?t think I?d be inclined to trust him either. Then from the defense she puts up; at his remarks; she?s not IMO looking at the whole picture with this guy?s character (what little he might have) that is!

    If you have another family member or someone else there you can trust - I would really try obtaining them as a safe haven alternative for that precious LO?s protection. Then you and the rest of your family can have a wonderful time at Disney - not being worried about the outcome of your new LO's care. After all she deserves being treated with kind and gentle care. LOVE that is!

    Now you, hubby, son and daughter(#1) spend time with your dad having fun, fun, fun at Disney very soon! OK!!! GL

    Wilma


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  • myszkomyszko
    imageJamieSF:
    Go with your instincts. Things would very, very likely be fine, but you will definitely spend that whole day on edge worried about your baby. Also, in the very slight chance that something did happen, you would never forgive yourself for leaving your lo somewhere you thought might be insane. I probably wouldn't confront your mom about it though. Find somebody else and just mention it to her in a more casual way... Sorry you have to deal with that from your mom :/
    I pretty much think this exact same thing. Gotta go with the gut feeling.
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  • hesherherohesherhero member

    imagemyszko:
    imageJamieSF:
    Go with your instincts. Things would very, very likely be fine, but you will definitely spend that whole day on edge worried about your baby. Also, in the very slight chance that something did happen, you would never forgive yourself for leaving your lo somewhere you thought might be insane.I probably wouldn't confront your mom about it though. Find somebody else and just mention it to her in a more casual way...Sorry you have to deal with that from your mom :/
    I pretty much think this exact same thing. Gotta go with the gut feeling.

     

     I agree with this as well. I'm VERY paranoid about leaving DD with anyone, even my parents who I know would never let anything happen to her. At work though I have dealt with several child abuse cases and overlays so I constantly worry about something happening to DD when I'm at work. If you are worrying about it now before you even leave her you really won't enjoy your mini vacation with that on your mind. In my experience it's usually the boyfriend (usually of the child's mother though) that is the abuser. If I were you I wouldn't leave DD with your mom.  I would be honest and tell your mom that you have nothing against her that you just don't trust her boyfriend. I'm sure she will understand. Hope you have fun at Disney. I've been dying to go one day. 

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  • Jennabug25Jennabug25
    Go with your gut! I have a few people in my family I wouldn't trust with DS. So if something doesn't feel right don't do it. I totally agree with pp that if something were to happen you would never forgive yourself.  I used to work at a daycare, so if you are going during the week you could see if a daycare center in that area offers drop-off care. It can be a bit expensive, but the option is there. Some daycare's too if you explain your situation they will gladly help you out!
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  • LarkNowLarkNow
    You're not suspicious of this guy (and your mom) for no reason. There's a track record. I think the cost of an extra car parking is worth the peace of mind.
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  • OctGirl80OctGirl80 member

    imageLarkNow:
    You're not suspicious of this guy (and your mom) for no reason. There's a track record. I think the cost of an extra car parking is worth the peace of mind.

     

    This. Seriously, is $14 worth LO's safety? I think you know the answer.

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