What will you do differently?

AllysonKG · May 2011

I was thinking about this today and it made me curious as to what you all would have to say.

What do you think or hope that you will do differently than your own parents did when raising your child(ren)?

What will you do the same?

I hope to be a lot more involved in my kids' school work and activities. My parents were divorced when I was young and being single parents definitely affected them both. They both had a hard time managing their time with us well enough to be able to sit down with each of us and really pay attention to what we were doing in school and how well we understood what we were learning. I did decently in school, but I think I would have done a lot better if I thought my parents were paying attention to my grades every day and encouraging me to do more with projects in school. Neither of my parents ever went to a parent teacher conference. I don't blame them because I know that what they were doing was hard, but I do think I would have done better in school if they'd done things like that.

I will also prod my kids a little more than my mom or dad did when it comes to what they're doing socially. My parents had no idea what boy I had a crush on, which friends were good/bad influences, if I ever had an argument with a friend, where I was really going after school, etc.

Both of my parents were awesome, and I will definitely try to do as good a job as they did making sure family stayed a priority over other things. They didn't let us get away with using incorrect grammar which I definitely appreciate now. They also never spoke negatively about people and then pretended to be their friend. I love that both of my parents respected everyone enough not to say mean things about them behind their backs. If they didn't like someone for some reason, that person knew it and everything was out on the table.

shaindelr · May 2011

I would like to be as intelligent as my parents and have high academic standards/expectations but be less abusive and do less jail time :-) I hope to be more financially stable as well...

ams8099 · May 2011

I will be a SAHM. My parents both had to work so my mom was never able to be room mom or a chaperon for field trips. I also went to day care in the morning before school and until 5 or 6 at night. I kind or always felt that I missed out as a kid on stuff like that.

I will also encourage my kids to participate in sports and other after school activities.

campbaby76 · May 2011

I hope to have a more open relationship with my kids. I don't mean that I will be friends w them but I don't want them to feel like they have to hide anything. My dad worked 3 jobs and my mom spent several important years in a deep depression that kept her unavailable. I want to be available for them. My parents did the best they could I just want more.

yesthisiskim · May 2011

I vow to be more active in my DD's life overall and build a close, open-ended relationship with her. My mom wanted to be more of a dictator - she never made me feel comfortable talking to her or being honest with her about things. My relationship with my mom has done a complete 180 since I've been married but I wish I've always had this close of a bond with her - I want that with Aubrey from day 1. But there are many parenting styles my mom used that I will put into effect with DD.

SandiaPinaMama · May 2011

My parents had 4 children in their 20s, and then, a decade later at almost 40, me. I always felt like mom was "done" by the time I came around. So, I felt a bit like she half-assed things with me. No easter egg hunts, no birthday parties, stopped believing in Santa early because my siblings told me. I guess what I mean was that my childhood was rushed. I want my kids to feel like they can linger in childhood, and move at whatever pace is appropriate and comfortable for them.

GHBEA · May 2011

I have teenagers as well so I changed things with them. My parents were distant people for my girls a lot changed especially when my mom told me one day "I don't hug you because my mother didn't hug me" I thought there is no way my girls would ever feel I was distant from them.

They know they are loved by being told everyday, and I hug them even now all the time.

I am involved in their lives. I know their hobbies, their favorite things.

I spend time quality time with them.

We go out and do things mostly things that are free.

They know I am there for them at all times.

LadyXaverian · May 2011

I have a lot of love and respect for my parents, and I had to think about what I would do differently.

- In the odd even that DH and I disagree about something, I hope we will not argue in front of our daughter. My parents didn't do this regularly, but they went through a rough patch and we (my sister and I) we often right in the middle of the chaos during that time.

- They didn't really suggest or encourage extra curricular activities. In hind sight, it may have been a financial issue. We didn't have a lot of money growing up, and I know that sports and other clubs can end up being expensive. DH and I are in a better place financially than my parents were when I was a kid, so I hope we will encourage Nora to get involved in activities that interest her.

- I hope that my daughter will not graduate from university with the amount of student loan debt I have. We will try to pay her way through college, or at least prep her academically so she can be eligible for scholarships.

- My parents' house was not the house that my friends and I hung out at. I hope our house will be that house for my daughter and her friends.

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