boy and girl sharing room?

kimberlyk921 · May 2011

DH and I are talking about TTC. We have a 3 br house but 1 of the rooms you have to walk through to get to our room (I think it's called a "captive" bedroom). Right now that is the room we use for DS as his nursery. Our plan has always been to move him into the other (bigger) room once he was a toddler (3-4) and was a little more independent. If we have another boy it's a given that they will share a room and we will use the "captive bedroom" for the office. The problem would be if we were to have a girl, would a 3ish year old and a baby girl be able to share a room? And if so, for how long?

yankeebaby2 · May 2011

We only had a two bedroom in new yprk so my two oldest (boy and girl) sahred a room from birth until they were 8 or 9. They had the cutest bunk beds.

We didn't have a boy or girl theme and we just decorated the room in strong primary colors. They are pretty close now still and play well together. We just had the normal squabbles.

julygal · May 2011

DS and DD will share when #3 arrives. DS and DD have pretty much the same sleep schedule, so it makes the most sense to put them together in the beginning. At some point we will re-arrange so the girls are together, but we don't have a plan other than wait and see how the new baby girl's sleep pattern is and readjust as needed.

vernab · May 2011

yankeebaby2:

We only had a two bedroom in new yprk so my two oldest (boy and girl) sahred a room from birth until they were 8 or 9. They had the cutest bunk beds.

We didn't have a boy or girl theme and we just decorated the room in strong primary colors. They are pretty close now still and play well together. We just had the normal squabbles.

I agree with this. We only have a two bedroom house right now and DS will be sharing a room with this LO when it arrives. We already have bunk beds set up.

realisticdreams · May 2011

We have two bedrooms although both of them sleep in ours, still. We have friends who have a 2br and are having a boy, and already have a girl.

Most states actually have laws about boys/girls sharing a room, not that I personally care, just so you are aware, you could 'technically' get into trouble if someone were to say something.

I personally like to believe in the innocence of children, and it doesn't bother me, I think personally i'd want them to have separate rooms by 5-7.

It's a personal decision though & i'm not trying to be rude. Also, think about if you adopt/foster how much space those kids have to have & they can't share rooms at all (I don't think) but I KNOW they can't share boy/girl rooms. I think that's why I have stronger feelings on it than most, since I struggled with IF and we wanted (and still might in the future) to adopt.

GL.

I also have to add that I don't think 2br should stop you from TTC if that's what you truly want, have the $$ etc.

Rambling now, sorry.

kimberlyk921 · May 2011

realisticdreams:
We have two bedrooms although both of them sleep in ours, still. We have friends who have a 2br and are having a boy, and already have a girl.
Most states actually have laws about boys/girls sharing a room, not that I personally care, just so you are aware, you could 'technically' get into trouble if someone were to say something.
I personally like to believe in the innocence of children, and it doesn't bother me, I think personally i'd want them to have separate rooms by 5-7.
It's a personal decision though & i'm not trying to be rude. Also, think about if you adopt/foster how much space those kids have to have & they can't share rooms at all (I don't think) but I KNOW they can't share boy/girl rooms. I think that's why I have stronger feelings on it than most, since I struggled with IF and we wanted (and still might in the future) to adopt.
GL.
I also have to add that I don't think 2br should stop you from TTC if that's what you truly want, have the $$ etc.
Rambling now, sorry.

You bring up good points...I brought it up to my mom and best friend just see their opinions and they both don't think it's a good idea. I agree with you, I believe in the innocence of children. I don't think I would still have them sharing a room after 5-6. Our plan is to move in the next 3-5 years but I don't want to have to wait that long to get pregnant. Especially for a reason like the baby's gender, it just seems silly to me. The extra $$ wouldn't come into play until this summer because that's when our car will be paid off, which will give us an extra $400 a month.

LizB214 · May 2011

realisticdreams:

Most states actually have laws about boys/girls sharing a room, not that I personally care, just so you are aware, you could 'technically' get into trouble if someone were to say something.

I think this is a common misconception. If DCF (or other state child welfare agency) is involved, they may require seperate bedrooms if there are sexual issues between children, but I don't beleive it's actually a law.

outnumbered · May 2011

realisticdreams:

Most states actually have laws about boys/girls sharing a room, not that I personally care, just so you are aware, you could 'technically' get into trouble if someone were to say something.
I personally like to believe in the innocence of children, and it doesn't bother me, I think personally i'd want them to have separate rooms by 5-7.

There are no laws regarding opposite sex siblings sharing rooms. There are regulations regarding foster situations, but luckily the government is not involved in where my children sleep.

Why do you think they need separate rooms at 5 or 6? My oldest share a room. My daughter just turned 6 and my son is 5 in 3 weeks. They love sharing a room and are not at all modest or uncomfortable. I know 5 seems old when your children are still toddlers, but it is still young enough to share space.

islandgirl79 · May 2011

If you have a girl can't she just have the captive room where your son is now? I don't think gender has much to do with it when they are young, but will they disturb each other's sleep routines.

HSartteach · May 2011

My brother is 3 years older than me. We shared a room for many years--until I was in maybe 3rd or 4th grade because there wasn't room. When my older brother finally moved out (he is 11 years older than me) I was given my own room. It didn't effect anything. I hardly even remember having to share a room with him.

no big deal imo.

kimberlyk921 · May 2011

islandgirl79:
If you have a girl can't she just have the captive room where your son is now? I don't think gender has much to do with it when they are young, but will they disturb each other's sleep routines.

the first few months she will be in our room anyway, that's what we did with DS, it just worked better for night nursing if he was next to us (in bassinet). Once she would be sleeping through the night, then I would move her into the room with DS...it is an option to use the captive room but it'll make it harder for us because we need an office space. The only other option for the office is to majorly downsize it and move the desk, computer, and printer into our bedroom (ugh.).

kscarlett5683 · May 2011

LizB214:
realisticdreams:

Most states actually have laws about boys/girls sharing a room, not that I personally care, just so you are aware, you could 'technically' get into trouble if someone were to say something.

I think this is a common misconception. If DCF (or other state child welfare agency) is involved, they may require seperate bedrooms if there are sexual issues between children, but I don't beleive it's actually a law.

I thought that was a misconception also. I do know that in low-income housing, you qualify for extra bedrooms if you have children of different sexes, and you aren't allowed to 'downgrade', as in, have the two children to share a bedroom. I dont' think it's so much a law for all individuals but more of a rule for getting the housing. KWIM?

luckylauren14 · May 2011

DH & sister shared room til their oldest brother moved out. I think they were 7 & 4 at the time. Now my SIL youngest DD (20 months) and her DS (4) share a room. My neighbor DD and DS (6 and 4) share a room to sleep and have another as their playroom. If we have another LO, no matter what sex it is, it would share a room with DS. I think it's fine. Once they start going through puberty, then I would worry about it.

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