Updated Ty told me the aid on his bus flicked his face :-(

TinyPinkBug · May 2011

Thanks everyone. I called the school, the person I spoke with took me very seriously and told me she is filing a complaint with both the bus company and with the county. She said I should be hearing from someone from the county very soon. I think Ty's teacher had already informed the person spoke with about this.

I always worried something like this would happen to Ty. He is so hard to deal with some times. Always has been, since birth! This is why I never leave him with ANYONE. It is a half an hour a day and he is strapped into a car seat! I thought it would be something easily handled. Now I feel like I am putting him through torture making him ride home, even though it is with completely different people.

I am so sad and angry. Yesterday, Ty told me that his bus aid would flick his face, and showed me how he did it. I asked him which aid, he described the aid from the morning bus. He rode the bus to and from school until late January when he suddenly refused to get on the bus, then I started driving him to school and having him ride the bus home. He had issues riding home as well, but I made his ride anyway for various reasons. I knew something must have happened, but figured it was something insignificant to the rest of us like the driver turning down a wrong street one day (Ty is very particular). The interesting thing about Ty is that his memory of events is usually better 2-3 months after they happen than right after, especially if it is something tramatic for him. He also said the aid put snow in his face, but insists it was an accident, I cannot think of any possible scenerio how putting snow in someone's face on a bus is an accident. The aids don't get the kids off the bus, the teachers do. Ty doesn't make things up, but he does sometimes misunderstand events. I feel a bit like it was so long ago now that he may be mistaken, but I highly doubt it. I am concerned about falsely accusing someone, but also think I need to file a report. I also feel bad about making him ride the bus home, but Bri would never get a good nap if I start dropping off and picking up everyday. He will go to summer school too.

I also want to add that flicking in the face for bad behavior IS tramatic for Ty. You would really need a good understanding of Ty to fully understand what I mean. He started into a huge regression in January that stumped everyone at school as well as myself. I think this may have been why. Typing this out makes me want to cry.

Hmmm, I wonder if I can find a sitter for a half hour every afternoon so Bri can have her nap while I pick up Ty.

TinaL99 · May 2011

Sad

Oh my gosh, what a horrible thing to have to hear from your son. I would absolutely call the school (or bus garage?). It doesn't matter how long ago it happened, and something may or may not be done about it, but they need to know.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I hope you are able to get some answers.

goosh24 · May 2011

Reading this made me feel very sad (and mad) for Ty and you. What an unfortunate situation that an aide would do this, after getting to know Ty somewhat, the aide has to have a clue that that sort of behavior is absolutely inappropriate. I think you should absolutely contact the school and talk to his teachers, since the timeline coincides with his regression. I know what you mean that you don't want to accuse someone wrongfully but I would hate that this could happen again or with any other students (are there other kids on the bus?).

mrsoc · May 2011

This makes me so sad to hear. I would definitely report this, maybe start with someone who knows Ty very well, so they will understand the impact that this has. Regardless, it seems like a teasing type thing (and could be considered abuse) and that is totally unacceptable...especially from an adult who is employed by the school.

wendyj · May 2011

I am so sorry that this happened to Ty. I would talk to his teacher, and the director of the bus company about what you learned. Is the same aide on both runs? You can make the request that they switch the bus aide to see if this will make things better. I know it won't be easy for Ty, but maybe starting now to help him readjust to being on the bus will help him when you really do need him to take the bus - like for Kindergarten.

jewelsonu · May 2011

I am so sorry. This makes me angry and sad for you. Noone should touch your child. I would go nuts. I would definitely call the school, bus garage. Is the aide a school employee or an older kid?

Maybe you have a neighbor that could watch bri for you?

jess!ca · May 2011

OMG. I am so sorry. And so angry just reading this. I want to go punch that aide! I would report it. Poor Ty. I can't imagine what kind of person treats a child like that. He should be removed.

MarcyIam · May 2011

Oh no! I am so so sorry! Things definitely seem to coincide too much for it to not be true. I would definitely say something. I agree with the suggestion of first going to someone who is the most familiar with him to start.

Please keep us posted...

Telyco · May 2011

UGH!!!!

I would definitely report this to the school, asap. I'm sure they will take care of the situation. I'm pretty sure bus aides are usually just min wage jobs without any training and they can find a replacement in 2 seconds.

Now as to getting Ty back on the bus and to trust the new person, maybe the school can help with that too.

Our nephew had some bus anxiety when he started Kindy. .he worked through it with the help of the school counselor...BUT then a sub bus driver missed his cousin's house (who also rode the bus with him) and he freaked thinking she would be stuck on the bus forever. Again - with the help of the school counselor and my very patient SIL - they worked through it. Obv a different situation...but you may be able to work through it with him and get him back on the bus instead of driving him both ways. So sorry for Ty!!! It totally SUCKS that he works so hard and some idiot adult has to ruin it.

TinyPinkBug · May 2011

There are more details to this that I didn't mention which make it all the more probable. Like Ty being sent to the nurse a couple times for having very red cheeks only for the redness to go away by the end of the day. The bussing is provided by a private company paid for by the county. And the morning bus is totally different from the afternoon bus. Changing the aid will do nothing because he doesn't ride the morning bus anymore and now totally dislikes the entire idea of riding a bus. I knew that the morning driver and aid called him (and other kids) names, like screech owl and nasty Nate, I thought that had something to do with it all.

skroops · May 2011

OMG, I would be livid! I don't have any advice other than what the other ladies already said, and I am 1ht while nursing. but good luck getting it all sorted out and keep us posted on what happens.

TinyPinkBug · May 2011

They have been working with Ty about the bus since he started having issues last January. They are in the process of qualifying him for counceling right now, to start in the summer session. He isn't making the progress they would like to see, which is why they are adding counceling to his services.

dle927 · May 2011

Totally call. Getting flicked in the face would be tramatic for anyone. And name calling is just as bad. No one should be called nn's like that.

jnk062602 · May 2011

I would def file a complaint about the flicking in the face. I am so sorry it happened to Ty

Telyco · May 2011

Now just reading it again - and seeing that he went to the nurse. I actually would file a police report.

I'm really sorry

missyjg · May 2011

This is HORRIBLE. What's your gut feeling telling you? If I were you I'd press charges. If you are worried about getting someone in trouble, don't be. The people in charge should do a proper investigation and look at everything objectively. Write everything down so you can be prepared for questions and what/when you were told from Ty.

Side note: People like this shouldn't be working with children. I'm in the middle of a case like this at work where I saw someone hit one of our non-verbal in the mouth for screaming. School setting should be a safe environment for kids. He shouldn't have to worry about having his face flicked, snow put in his face or anything! And the fact he was afraid to get on the bus. You have grounds for your concern. And YOU shouldn't have to worry for him during transportation. I'm angry for you.

sunnygirl05 · May 2011

Reading this makes me so sad. I can't believe the things that happen. And here we're supposed to trust that our kids will be well taken care of when we send them off to school only to find out stuff like this happens. I would definitely make the calls. I am so sorry this happened to your son. Hearing these stories makes me want to home school and keep my boys in a bubble.

jewelsonu · May 2011

they called him names? those kinds of people should not be working with kids. you are very calm. i would be at dicks buying a baseball bat to beat the person if they hurt ethan or sophia.

Two*True · May 2011

Reading this post has me in tears and really p!ssed off. I work at an organization that serves students just like Ty. In fact looking out my office window right now I see school buses lining up to pick up half/day students. After reading this I went down the office to find the school principal to see exactly what steps you should take and in what order, but she is out the office right now.

There is absolutely no excuse for any of the things that happened to Ty. I bypass the teacher, go straight to the principal and the school district. I would also strongly consider filing a police report, with documentation from the nurses included. It's unlikely anything can be done after the fact (hard now to prove that red cheeks were the aide's doing) it will be there in case 1) anything happens again or 2) another family has the same issue.

It's great that the school is working on Ty with the bus issue and hopefully you will be able to get the aid removed and Ty can get back on the bus.

TinyPinkBug · May 2011

I had Ty tell his teacher when we got to school today to see if he could repeat the details, he told her but was very distracted. I am hoping they pull him out and ask him without the distractions of the class. And I don't know if the day he went to the nurse for red cheeks was a result of this or not, but there was a day they were concerned how red his cheeks were and sent him to the nurse. We didn't know why his cheeks were red and he got mad when we asked.

Two*True · May 2011

TinyPinkBug:
I had Ty tell his teacher when we got to school today to see if he could repeat the details, he told her but was very distracted. I am hoping they pull him out and ask him without the distractions of the class. And I don't know if the day he went to the nurse for red cheeks was a result of this or not, but there was a day they were concerned how red his cheeks were and sent him to the nurse. We didn't know why his cheeks were red and he got mad when we asked.

I sent you a FB message.

Mrs_Hark · May 2011

this is breaking my heart, seriously WTF is wrong with people?

i hope you get some good answers and the people responsible are dealt with, harshly.

lots of hugs for Ty!

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