June 2011 Moms

BF'ing fears

I really want to BF. I lurk often over on 0-3 and the BF'ing board. It seems like it can be a real nightmare for some with tons of stress. This scares me. While I want to be adamant and really try hard, I don't want to be miserable and totally stress myself out from the pressure if it ends up being really difficult.

Anyone else worried about the same thing?

Advice from Mom's of 2+? I had a friend tell me that once you get past the first three or so weeks it gets better?

Re: BF'ing fears

  • i can't say that i share your fears - i've just convinced myself i will be able to breast feed easily................... i do worry that if i can't i'll become really depressed because i haven't given myself the option to consider  not BFing (does that make sense?)
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  • I have the same fear.  I even have stressed myself into a frenzy that I have not read enough about BF'ing nor taken the class yet.  I am trying to get into a last minute class and hoping that it will ease my fear. 

    In my mind there is no other option to BF'ing.  I would be very disappointed in myself if it didnt happen. 

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  • Honestly I think stressing about it is a big part of a lot of people's problems! Baby can read all that fear and stress and won't be as willing to feed.

    I'm a FTM, (and I know I post this in EVERY breastfeeding post!) but I highly recommend the book "So That's What They're For?"

    It's funny, but really practical. It really made me feel like I can do it!

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  • Well not that this is going to help but I have tried twice and failed twice. I had a specialist try to help and have read tons. I actually think that the last time it's what put me in my baby blues.  Having said all that, I am still determined to try again! It's like anything else new, it's the unknown that is most scariest. All you can do is try! As long as you have educated yourself and are giving it your best effort you should be set to go! You can do it!

     

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  • imagehelenejr:
    i can't say that i share your fears - i've just convinced myself i will be able to breast feed easily................... i do worry that if i can't i'll become really depressed because i haven't given myself the option to consider  not BFing (does that make sense?)

    thats the thing. I just assume it will come easy but if it doesn't I'm scared I'll be too hard on myself.

  • It might also help to find out what your resources are. My hospital is very pro breastfeeding, and they have a huge lactation staff. They will automatically set me up with someone for the few days I'm in the hospital, and then I can call and come back for appointments afterwards if I'm having trouble.

    My pediatrician also has a lactation consultant on staff, so if I'm not getting all the help I need from the hospital they are a second resource.

     

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  • the fact that it's that important to you to try is a great start.  it definitely IS hard in the beginning, and i'm not looking forward to the first few weeks.  my son never had a latching problem and it was still toe-curling pain every.single.time he latched for the first few weeks.  after that, it's like my nipples toughened up and we were good to go.  i'm not going to lie, it's a huge commitment.  i'm thankful it came so easily the first time, but even "easy" breastfeeding is a round-the-clock job.  you definitely will have to "stick it out" at some point...either in the beginning, or on nights you just don't want to get up, or when you think you're about to throw that pump out the window you hate it so much, or when your nine month old gets so distracted by every.little.thing that's going on around her that it takes FOREVER to get a five min nursing session in.  but it's so worth it!  good luck!
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  • i feel the same way. i have read a couple of books about bf'ing and feel confused about the whole thing. i thought about bf'ing and pumping but seems like the literature i have  been reading frowns a bit on that. i have looked on line and visited www.lllusa.org and considering going to the local meeting held once a month to get a better feel of things.

    my sister in law has told me horror stories about how she couldn't bf and was so fustrated at day 4 that she switched to formula. i'm want to be prepared for that.

    good luck to both of us

  • Don't over stress yourself about it.  It's not good for you or her.  With DD, I couldn't BF because she was in NICU with feeding tubes.  I tried to pump, but my milk never came in.  I will try again this time, but it may or may not happen, we will see when the time comes and there's nothing that I will be able to do about it no matter how much I stress over it. 
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  • 11kacey11kacey member

    Well, I am trying to keep an open mind about it. I want to BF and I will work really hard at it, but I am going to try really hard NOT to get upset if it doesn't work out.

    That said.. I have a great story (or at least it put a smile on my face). 

    Coworker's wife was 12 weeks pregnant with her second and since BFing hadn't worked out with the first she said she wasn't going to even attempt it with the second. Fast Forward...For whatever reason, when the baby was born, they brought it to her chest and the baby latched! Her first baby wouldn't even latch, so this was something totally new for her. Anyway, lo and behold her milk came in! I was so flipping excited for her. She was so upset with herself the first time around and to know that if it doesn't work out for me this time, it might work out the next time just made me so happy.  Mom and baby are doing great and the story just brings a smile to my face. :)

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  • I look at it like this: women (and animals!) have been breastfeeding since the beginning of time. It's a natural thing that our bodies are capable of and I wouldn't worry about having an issue with it because it seems like more often than not, it works out.

    I agree with the above poster's advice about finding out what local resources you have. My hospital has a lactation consultant available every day on the L&D floor who will help me if I need it while at the hospital; and the consultants are also available for appointments after I'm discharged if I have any problems. I was given a brochure about weekly lactation meetings that are open to the public at the hospital as well - the lactation consultants are available at these meetings if anyone needs more help too. I feel more at ease knowing I have plenty of places to turn if I should need help.

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  • thing is my hospital is about 45 minutes-a hour away and I just don't see myself driving to the meetings with a newborn. I know they do have the LC there for the visit after delivery though. I never thought to check with the pedi. I am going to do that!

    I have the La Leche League Womanly Art of BF'ing book but am finding is really hard to get through. I keep skimming! lol

  • Honestly, I am more afraid of breastfeeding this time around than the actual labor and delivery part.  It's no joke.  Breastfeeding is hard work.  Even those that have done it for 2+ years will tell you that.  But it's totally achievable and rewarding if you can make it work. 

    ETA:  All of you ladies: please please please do not beat yourself up about this.  If it works, fantastic, it if doesn't work, you are NO less of a woman and your baby will still thrive. 

  • imageAprilLynn09:

    thing is my hospital is about 45 minutes-a hour away and I just don't see myself driving to the meetings with a newborn. I know they do have the LC there for the visit after delivery though. I never thought to check with the pedi. I am going to do that!

    I have the La Leche League Womanly Art of BF'ing book but am finding is really hard to get through. I keep skimming! lol

    Get over to Amazon and get a copy of So Thats What They're For! It's SO much easier to read!!

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  • I have no experience but for 3 years at work, I spent with moms-to-be and new moms encouraging them and educating them on breastfeeding and how to make it successful. I'm obviously just going to see how it goes for me. Honestly have my own insecurities about whether I can do it but I'm going to do everything possible to make it happen.
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  • It can be hard in the beginning, even for experienced moms since every baby is so different. I had a hard time with my first baby, zero issues with my second, and then a few minor ones (didn't seem minor at the time though!) with my third. I'm cautiously optimistic about it working out this time, but I also know that we might come up against some walls. I'm determined to try and work through them, but if it doesn't work out I'm not going to beat myself up over it.

    Another good resource is WIC. Even if you aren't in the program you can call and talk to an LC or attend bfing classes.

  • For me it was the one thing I really wanted to be successful at - I had an emergency c/s after being induced and my milk took a week to come in...I had to supplement and used a tube and syringe at my nipple to get DS to latch...it was the toughest week of my life but as soon as I got home and was comfortable in my surroundings everything fell into place and it became a breeze...just know that it's not the end of the world if you have to supplement at first or even pump and use a bottle...just keep working at it.  Even though it was such a breeze with DS I have a fear that it wont be so easy with this one...it's common to be stressed but like pp said the more you stress the more the baby senses that and it makes it a nightmare for both of you.  Good Luck!
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  • I agree with all the moms. Don't make yourself crazy trying to breastfeed. Do the best you can with all the resources you have, but it's not the end of the world if you can't!! I ended up being an exclusive pumper with the help of DH.  He would get up in the night and feed DS while I pumped. It was a team  effort. If you can't do that, give baby what you can, and if you can't , that's okay too.  I was really beating myself up about it last time and it wasn't worth it.  We had some latch issues and it was just frustating!! I got really depressed and I think I would have enjoyed those first few weeks more if I hadn't been so hard on myself.  Good luck to you and I am amazed at your postive attitude through your bedrest!!  I really enjoy your posts!!!
  • www.kellymom.com Has all the info you need

    Watch videos online. It will be the hardest thing you do. You will cry and want to give up but just make it through to the next day. It always works out. I was told to suppliment with DD becasue she was a preemie...It totally screwed my supply. I WILL NOT be doing it this time around...ONLY if nessary.

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  • Breastfeeding is extremely important to me, so I have the same fears. I am basically willing to go through whatever I need to to make it work, but I know it can be a challenge. I've read a lot and taken a BF class, so I feel that I'm at least armed with knowledge about it. Of course, if I face some issues, that might not help me, but I feel being informed is important.
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  • I have the same fears, and I really think that I might get PPD. If I do, unless BF is going extremely well, I will probably give up BF. I know this isn't a popular opinion on here, but if I am already an emotional, crying, exhausted mess, with my DH working 70+ hours every week and never knowing what time he will get home (rarely it's 6 and sometimes it's as late as midnight), and BF is not going well, I don't want to get frustrated and resentful of the baby, KWIM? I have already told my family and friends that I want lots of visitors in the beginning to help combat any PPD I may get, so we'll see how it works. If it does, great, but if it doesn't, the most important thing is a happy mommy and fed baby- no matter how she gets fed.
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  • I posted awhile back how I was scared of BFing because I felt like I didn't know enough about it.. Well, after actually reading up on it - it scared me even more!!! All of the things that could go wrong I feel like I just didn't need to hear. Cracked and bleeding nipples doesn't sound like a good time - and it doesn't sound appetizing. Clogged ducts, mastitis, etc. The more I read, the worse I got. To make matters worse, DH was reading over my shoulder and he is definately against me BFing now! I still want to try. I'm hoping that I will be lucky and everything goes smoothly. If not, I will bottle feed. I think if I was going to be a SAHM then I would give it everything I have, but since I have to go back to work, if things aren't going well, then why push it. I was bottle fed and turned out fine :D

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  • Definitely check out www.kellymom.com!! It has great videos/links/pictures that have eased my fears about bf'ing this time. I only made it 5 days with ds1 and I am adamant about making it work this time!! I know the problems my son had with latching were because I was sooo engorged and he couldn't latch. Knowing that and seeing good latches of bf'ing babies makes me feel confident I can do it (even through the horrific pain!!) I got to a point that the pain didn't even bother me, I just wanted him to latch! Find some resources that can help you if you need it! =)

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