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Is this normal?
Do kids get into everything? We have tons of toys all around the house. M when she is home (without the kids I watch) is fine playing alone or with us. When the 2 kids come over that I watch during the week they make a HUGE mess. Such as taking all of M's clothes out of her dresser and throw them everywhere. Or they take all the toys out of the toy box and throw them all over the house. This happens every.single.day. Is this normal? Am I doing something wrong? Feel free to laugh at me 
Also my niece calls me momma all day long. My niece is the same age as M. Should I just ignore her? I respond to her every time saying I am Aunty not momma. But she is not getting it. I am so sick of hearing MOMMMMMMAAAA all day long I could scream.
OK Vents over. Feel free to laugh at me and carry on
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Is this normal?
I'm sorry to hear that!! I hope you get an extra special Mother's day treat from your sister! You deserve it!
Sorry I have no advice as I don't have an outside baby yet!
Do you make them clean their own mess up? Otherwise it's just a fun game for them. My advice (worth every penny you paid for it
) is make it less fun. Set boundaries, make rules, stick to both. Redirecting might help (assuming you haven't tried that already - they might just be behaving this way at home and getting away with it...)
As far as Aunty/Mommy...at some point it will stop...hang in there!
I say yes and no. Yes it's normal for kids to want to get into things when they're in a new environment where they don't know the boundaries, but no it's not normal for every kid to trash a place every time they're at your home.
My kids have NEVER pulled anyone's clothes out of drawers. Not even their own. They do dump boxes of toys out to play with, but they also know how to clean up. But they will not clean up unless I tell them to and help them do it. We usually put on loud music and make it fun. You can't just say "clean up this mess" though. You have to say "Ben get all of the legos while I get the cars".
I think when they start pulling clothes out, you stop them immediately and say "these are clothes, they're not toys. Help me put them back and let's keep these drawers closed". And then find activities for them to do. Are they bored? Do they need more structure? Can you think up some things to keep them busy? Send them on a scavenger hunt around your house to find 10 blue things or to find all of the things with wheels, or something. Keep them busy.
I really don't think you should ever feel like a kid is such a terror that you don't want to have play dates with them. If that's how you feel, then talk to the mother. I know it will be uncomfortable, but the mom needs to know that you have different expectations at your house. You can say "Hey I'm really trying to work with MY KID on cleaning up and not dumping everything at once, so do you mind helping me enforce that rule at MY HOUSE?" Since it's about your kid and your house, then it's like a special deal. ANd really, kids need to know there are some other rules at different places. Like at my house, I don't care that the kids jump off of the couch or stand on the ottoman and jump onto pillows. But Ben knows that at other peoples houses, the rules are different. Cooper of course doesn't get it, but he will get it eventually...
I think its normal, but I like the idea of making them help clean up. L will be able to understand way better than B, but she can help too. We did this with Ollie when he was B's age and started throwing his food on the floor at dinner. It worked great! It wasnt like a punishment, I just said something like "Look, you threw your food on the floor. We keep food on plates so lets clean it up..." or whatever. And he had to help until it was ALL cleaned up. Took the fun right out.
When my nephew and SIL lived with us, I watched him during the day and he called me "ma" for a while but then stopped. But I dont know in your situation since you've been watching them so long already. Maybe get a picture of your sister so you can show B during the day and talk about how she is mommy and you are auntie?
I agree with Leanne, it's normal to get into things, and they should also have to clean it up. I'm sure you're also suffering the consequences of the lack of rules/discipline they have at home. Definitely have them clean up if they make a mess of stuff, or before moving to another activity. Like L said, B is a little young, but I would still have her "help"...which might mean you take her hand and help her pick something up and put it away. She will get the idea. Definitely you can have a rule about not taking clothes out, and they have to put them right back if they do.
I know it's really hard with three little ones all by yourself, mad props to you!
I agree about making cleaning up part of the routine if they make a mess.
Also, FWIW, Lila rarely throws things everywhere when it's just her, but if we have other kids here too, she happily gets in on the toy throwing and we end up with stuff everywhere. Power in numbers, maybe?
Though, as they're getting a little older, this isn't happening nearly as much.
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This is from my experience working in daycare/nannying.
Toy throwing can be normal when you have multiple kids around, but if you are consistent about not allowing it (or only certain things can be thrown in specific places), within 2-3 weeks you should see it drastically decrease.
I got called "mama/mommy" by lots of little kids for a while at the daycare. We started at 12 months and I was usually with the 1s and 2s. The funny thing is, if you try to refer to yourself as mommy, it usually won't fly with them - little kids don't always realize that what is coming out of their mouth sounds different than how they were hoping it would.