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Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
1220winterbride
member
My heart is as open as the sky.
Read about it on the blog
2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
*~*~Morning Confessions~*~*
1220winterbride
member
Hello & happy Thursday. Say anything.
My heart is as open as the sky.
Read about it on the blog
2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: *~*~Morning Confessions~*~*
Today would have been my due date for my first loss.
Trying to find the strength to get through today, and I am proud of myself so far.
MTHFR 2 copies of C677t mutation homozygous 2/2010
Baby A born via c-section 1/10/12 @38w3d
BFP #1 11/4/09 m/c 4w3d baby crab
BFP #2 12/4/09 m/c 9w3d baby lion
BFP #3 7/1/10 m/c 4w1d baby fish
BFP #4 5/8/11
BFP #5 8/17/12 10dpo beta 7
There are a lot of pregnant women in my circle right now. I got invited to an event via Facebook a few days ago, and the pregnant woman are writing on the page all "Yaaayyy! We're all gonna have so much fun drinking virgin margaritas!" "Yay for the pregnant posse!!"
Uuuuugggghhhhhh. I was telling DH about it, and I was getting angry. That really mean angry that has no real purpose. "Can't these women talk about anything but their effing bellies and babies?!? Do their brains turn off since they're pregnant?!?"
Then I corrected myself. "I have no right to be angry at them just for being pregnant and being excited about it."
Then I corrected myself again. "I'm in my own damn house, and I can be angry about whateverthehell I fell like here, TYVM!"
So, I'm angry. Angry that I'm not in the "clique."
BFP 2.19.11 - Missed miscarriage, April 2011
My heart is as open as the sky.
Read about it on the blog
2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
This is so me; I've gained six pounds and just can't find the motivation to stop eating crap and work out. But then I look in the mirror and get even more depressed, it's a vicious cycle.
My first thought when I woke up this morning: This is so unfair. I'm supposed to be pregnant. I'm supposed to be telling my boss today that I'm taking maternity leave at the end of the year. Instead, I'm taking medication to expel the contents of my uterus. Even though I don't want to wait for it to happen naturally, I feel so guilty that I'm doing this to my body on purpose. I'm angry that I have to wait until August (or later) to start trying again. I feel cheated that I did the responsible thing by waiting until I was ready to have kids--33 years old, married, financially and emotionally stable--only to have a miscarriage and postpone starting my family even longer. I did everything I was supposed to do to prepare for being pregnant, and none of it mattered.
I know I will be pregnant again, probably before the end of the year, and I know that it will most likely be a healthy, successful pregnancy. But none of that is making me feel any better in this moment, while I'm waiting to miscarry this pregnancy I waited so long to have. Life sucks.
ClaraEarlene, I am so sorry for your loss and I know how you feel. I'm the same age (nearly-32) and like you, I waited until we were married, financially and emotionally stable and it kills me every day that I am not pregnant right now. I am so sorry. {{hugs}}
mm 2/17/11 * dd born 4/20/12 * bo 1/3/14 * edd 1/21/ 1/15
I agree. I just eat whatever and whenever I want, which is not really like me.
Also, I hate 16 and Pregnant. It is SO UNFAIR to me that those girls get babies and I don't. I don't understand how married, successful, stable women can try for months and years to get pregnant and it never happens, even when they can nail down to the day that they ovulate, and these girls just go out and get KTFU like it's nothing. Not only do they get KU, but they have successful, uneventful pregnancies with healthy babies. I don't wish them unhealthy babies or m/c's either, but I just don't get it. Vent over.
I haven't cried about this in front of my husband in almost 2 months. Last night I ended up sobbing in his arms. I wonder if one day I will be able to go months at a time without thinking about it or crying about it.
BFP#2 5/28/2011, EDD 2/1/2012, chemical pg
BFP#3 10/22/2011, EDD 6/30/2012, natural m/c 11/3/2011 @ 6 weeks
BFP#4 4/16/2012, EDD 12/24/2012, Beta #1 23 @ 10dpo, Beta #2 68 @ 12dpo, Beta #3 370 @ 16dpo, Saw baby and heartbeat on 5/11/2012.
It's a boy!
ladies I can't thank you enough for your honesty.
i had a seriously insane day of unbearable emotions and it helps to not feel so alone and isolated.
xoxo
I am heartbroken and angry. I have been crying off and on all day. I don't know where to go from here. I wish my DH didnt have to go back to work today and he could just be here to hold me and tell me everthing is going to be ok.
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Missed MC 11/17/10 Our little miracle born 1/27/12 Natural MC 7/19/12 Missed MC 1/22/13 Our family is complete DD 12/27/13
Abnormal ANA, PAI-1 4G/4G homozygous
So sorry, (((hugs))))
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Missed MC 11/17/10 Our little miracle born 1/27/12 Natural MC 7/19/12 Missed MC 1/22/13 Our family is complete DD 12/27/13
Abnormal ANA, PAI-1 4G/4G homozygous
So sorry, (((hugs))))
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Missed MC 11/17/10 Our little miracle born 1/27/12 Natural MC 7/19/12 Missed MC 1/22/13 Our family is complete DD 12/27/13
Abnormal ANA, PAI-1 4G/4G homozygous
Me too....I watched it when I was pregnant and now I can't bring myself to turn it on. And DH records it....
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Missed MC 11/17/10 Our little miracle born 1/27/12 Natural MC 7/19/12 Missed MC 1/22/13 Our family is complete DD 12/27/13
Abnormal ANA, PAI-1 4G/4G homozygous